Earnership

When I begin to work with a new deck, it isn't always so easy to connect with it straight away. Especially when we are feeling around in the dark and devising our own meanings, as I am with this one. I began to read Spezzano's book on my train ride back from London, but did not gel too well with his ideas or the religious undertones in the text. Instead, I am using the images and titles as they strike me at the time of drawing, with little rules. Since I am spending the next 9 full days with my boyfriend, I will ask him for his thoughts and feelings about the cards as I draw them too. Two heads might be better than one.

For today, I have drawn two more cards from the suit of shadows - the Devil and the Thief. When I look at the Devil, I think of temptation. He reminds me of the old Tom and Jerry cartoons, where Tom would have both a devil and an angel on his shoulders and would need to choose between them. Like the Devil, the thief thinks only of himself and his own physical gratification. I am not entirely sure how these cards fit into my day, since they provide a probably harsher slap around the face than I feel I might need.

I had a really nice morning with an old friend who I havn't seen in a couple of months. I met her and her young son in town and we went for coffee. Afterwards, we wandered around for a bit and looked in the shops. Even though my finances have plummeted once again, I couldn't resist a book I stumbled across on our travels - 'The Kabbalah Code: A True Adventure, by James F. Wyman.

Thinking about it this evening, the cards encourage me to think about my spending habits. Even though interesting, the book was a temptation that I could have left on the shelf. I don't spend an awful lot of money generally, but I do like the odd fix - be it a new deck or book. In terms of the amount of money I have coming in, it might be argued that it could be spent on something more useful.

I am not a thief, but the card does make me think of my morning. My friend bought my coffee. She usually does and is very generous. Similarly, my boyfriend has been paying for my train tickets and a lot of my food over the past week. Even though I have always shared what I have got, whether a little or a lot, receiving more than I give or have earned often leads me to feel like a thief of sorts. Especially when I do spend some of my money on myself, as the Devil encourages me too. Thinking in this way, I gave my boyfriend some money for last night's food (we ordered a takeaway) and will take something for my friend tomorrow, as a contribution to the barbecue she is having. I try to repay my boyfriend for the things he so generously and so often gives me as much as I can. When I can't, I try to do other things. Since he spends his days at work and the majority of his spare time with me, he doesn't have lots of time for domestic chores, so before spending the day with his sister yesterday, I cleaned and tidied his room from top to bottom. He seemed happy that I did.

Illustration from Archetypes and Shadows by Chuck Spezzano