Taking the more mature role

When I was a teenager I spent my life on the phone, but now I am in my thirties, it is something I rarely enjoy and often shy away from. I much prefer face to face conversation. Having said that, there are a small handful of people who I can talk to on the phone effortlessly, where the time just flies past. One of them is my friend Kate, who called me last night. I looked at my phone after we had said our goodbyes and realised that we had been gassing for over an hour and a half. It is always fun to talk with her. We discussed my ideas about working voluntarily and my concerns around not working in fashion. She told me that I should not dwell on the past or worry too far into the future. She said that I need to make small steps towards what I can do, and most importantly, stop beating myself up about all of the stuff that I cannot. It made me feel so much better. Concentrating on the moment, as she suggested, feels very positive. I guess that my ego just gets in the way sometimes.

The old Lord of Skulls (or The Lord of Takeaways, as I nicknamed him last Friday) is back again. He turned up exactly a week ago with fried chicken, and this week, he brings a chinese. I am not sure that he cares for my diet. Once again, my boyfriend footed the bill, which is why I think this card is in my day: it brings about material care, stability, and protection. To balance things out, I am planning on buying the wine and flowers to take to our friend's house tomorrow, when we go for dinner.

I see this lord as one of maturity and responsibility. After what he described as a boring day at work, my boyfriend suggested that we go out for a drink in town this evening. As much as it would have been nice, I was aware of how the night out could go. What ever grand promises I might make to myself before I leave the house, I know that once out, I will get carried away with the evening and the people I meet, and will not want to come home at a reasonable hour. Since we are going out tomorrow, I didn't want to ruin it by going over the top this evening, so we opted to stay home. Not that I have any money to go out anyway. While my boyfriend is watching one of the SAW films (which I have had to endure aurally as I type here), I completed some art work. Today's card is about taking responsibility, looking after our cash, and taking the mature role for a change.

Illustration from The Tarot of the Vampyres by Ian Daniels