Let Me Be

My boyfriend and I drove to Birmingham for his friend's birthday as planned. On the night that we arrived, we stayed home and caught up with her. On her actual birthday the following day, we went out to lunch with her and her daughter, and then in the evening, she had a gathering of nine friends. All of the guests were really nice and I managed to have a good chat with each.

On the day after the get-together I was fine all day, but in the evening, I started to feel unwell. By the time I got to bed, my stomach was really aching and I began to feel nauseous. Not being able to hold it back, I was eventually sick, and that was pretty much how things continued throughout the night and into the morning. My boyfriend and I were meant to go and see another of his mates to drop off her Christmas present, but feeling as I did, he had to go alone. I can't remember the last time I felt as unwell as I did then.

I don't know how I made the journey home in the car. It took over four hours and I tried my best to sleep as much of it off as I could to avoid being sick in the car. I think that I spent the entire time that I was awake fantasising about finally being in my room on my comfortable bed.

I am still not over the bug or whatever it was. We had had a Chinese takeaway before I got ill and one of the sauces didn't look or taste right. I was the only one to eat it, so we wondered if that might be the culprit. Having said that, from what I have heard, there has been a lot of sickness about generally, so I may have just picked that up. This is the first time that I have had a chance to make it to the computer and draw a card since Monday. I had pulled the very same card that day as I had on the Sunday, Prosperity Begins, but didn't have the time or resources to post on my blog while I was away. It was an interesting draw though, because my thoughts and feelings were lent more to the image than the general meaning of the card. I have had a lot of problems with my stomach over the past four years, and when it aches, I lay both hands over it in exactly the same way as those shown in the picture. I thought about this before feeling unwell, and now wonder if the seed in the picture indicated the little bug beneath the surface, which was soon to write off a couple of my days.

I was kind of expecting to receive another card today. In particular, I expected to pull Solitude (which is linked to The Hermit traditionally). To be frank, Christmas has been a little too overwhelming for me. Going out on Christmas Eve, spending the next few days with family, and then hotfooting it up North to more partying and social engagements has taken it's toll. By the third day of the visit, I'll be honest and say that I had just had enough of people. Not feeling my best, I let my phone ring itself to sleep and didn't answer any of it's messages. People find it hard to just let me be sometimes, which is what I really want and need right now.

Today's card shows both a lion and a man. I guess that one is overcoming the other. For today, the lion could be my bug. As I lay here, my stomach is still churning, but I feel less sick than I did last night. The illustration shows me beginning to feel that bit more human through the taming of the beast.

Illustration from The Psychic Tarot Oracle by John Watson