The Bird has Landed

You may not be able to see it properly, but in The Star card, a white bird is shown just landing on a large Beech tree. Because the card is connected to inspiration, it represents the point where new and exciting thoughts enter the mind. Because the star at the forefront of the image is the largest of the eight, it would suggest that this is in one specific area of life.

Inspiration is a funny thing. Years ago, when I used to write poems and fiction, I remember sitting on a school playing field with a good friend. It was a warm Summer's day and we were on holiday from college. She was drawing and I was on something like the ninth chapter of a book I had been writing. When we were inspired, there was no conversation between us. As I continued to write the novel, it was almost as if someone was whispering the plot and dialogue into my ear for me to copy down. The ideas flowed well and felt so right that it was sometimes difficult to get the rush of thoughts onto the paper before I had forgotten them. Occasionally, it is like that here on the blog. I will look at my daily cards and then ideas about how they connect to each other and my day will begin landing in my mind, one after another, like the white bird lands on the branch of the tree in this tarot card.

I managed to get some more work for my portfolio done yesterday. Like the writing of the old novel, as I was finishing a drawing of an American Indian for a t-shirt, I had already began to think of patterns for shirts that I would start afterwards. I like it when work is like that, since I have hit the brick wall of a designers block quite often recently and the next step in the process can sometimes be a struggle. The 6 of Cups is one of approaching things with the wonder and simplicity of a child, so I am hoping that a carefree attitude to working today will bring more results. It's kind of a nice co-incidence that this card of childhood also hits my reading when I am designing graphics for boy's clothing.

Illustrations from The Robin Wood Tarot by Robin Wood

Bashing Away the (shuttle) Cocks

In the 7 of Wands, a man is shown pushing away six opponents with a large baton. With a scowl on his face, he is fighting for what he believes in. Even though his enemies continue to provoke and fight, standing above them on the cliff's edge, he has the advantage. He constantly assesses the situation to maintain his position and stands his ground.

It's funny, because this card reminds me a little of my blog. Even though it is nice to communicate with other members of the blogging community, not all comments I receive are welcomed. Ever since I started writing here, there has been consistent and persistent attempts from one or two sources, to post links to pornographic sites in my comments section. All of which are in Japanese. I am yet to find a way of reporting these individuals, so if you do know how it can be done, please let me know. Better still, if it is you who is posting the links, would you be so kind as to sod off and take your rubbish with you.

This reminds me of today's cards, because with each attempt, I have to bash the comments away like a shuttle cock in a game of badminton. They hit it over the net, and with a scowl like the man's in the 7 of Wands, I slam it straight into the trash. The 8 of Swords shows the limits of my control in this situation. I can remove the junk, but it is a pain to continually do so.

Together, the cards also remind me of something that is happening in a friend's life at the moment. It regards the unwanted interest of a young man, which has become obsessive and intimidating. She has been battling with his phone calls, messages, and emails, and feels powerless in her method of response. Even though I believe that stalkers should not be given a dialogue, I do think that this man needs to be told firmly that she is no longer interested in friendship (or anything else), once and for all. The woman in the 8 of Swords is tied and blindfolded. It may not be her who put the blindfold and ties there, but she can certainly try to take them away. This evening, my boyfriend and I will try to help her step out from this cage of constricting swords by helping her write an email to him. Hopefully, she will soon be free of this loon.

Illustrations from The Rider Waite Tarot by Pamela Coleman Smith

An Easier Route?

By the end of yesterday, my migraine was still with me and I went to bed not long after my boyfriend had left, hoping that a night's sleep would sort it out. I didn't end up having my proposed nap in the afternoon and it had just got worse, so I really needed it by then.

Even though I still have a faint pain in my eyes and on the top of my head, I am hoping that today's cards take me from the murky and disturbed waters of my migraine to the clear-headed space of the Ace of Swords, since the ferryman from the 6 of Swords escorts us to a more peaceful place than we have recently been used to. On a general level, this may be due to some kind of new understanding or from a conversation with another. As well as some final healing from my headache, I hope to find myself feeling calmer than I have been in some time.

* * *

As I slip into the afternoon, my head definitely feels better. I have not been able to get any new work down this morning, due to a creative block, but hope to get something done this afternoon, before I go to my boyfriends. Starting each new section of my portfolio project is often the hardest part, but I am hoping that the Ace of Swords will represent new ideas and inspiration.

Even though I think that the basis of today's reading is linked to my overcoming the migraine, it also mirrors a call that my parents received yesterday afternoon (I often see the ace as a form of communication). As I mentioned recently, we lost the dream home that we were hoping to move into for the second time a month or so ago and were told that the owners were going with another offer. It was hardly their fault, since our buyer pulled out. Well, the owner called us yesterday to say that he hoped there was no hard feelings between us and that his house is still on the market. We have not sold ours yet, but I wonder if these cards provide an easier route towards trying to buy his for a third time.

Illustrations from The Rider Waite Tarot by Pamela Coleman Smith

The Crash of Lightning

The more that you read the cards, the more that they begin to make sense on a personal level. Combinations will have relevance to each reader in a different way.

Take today's cards as an example. On a general level, the 4 of Swords talks about rest and a time to opt our of stressful situations. If not adhered to, then a card like The Tower will drop by and kick some arse, until you have no other option than to down tools and relax. The problem with the latter is that it usually moves in a pretty dramatic fashion. It's crash of lightning might be an illness through overdoing it or being dumped by a partner because you chose to not see problems which were right under your nose.

On a personal level, this combination means something else to me. At the end of last week, I developed a migraine. Because I haven't had them so regularly in recent years, I missed the warning signs. When I was at university and under pressure, I learnt to detect the signals in time - the extreme tiredness and fatigue, dizziness, and blurred sight. Wherever I was, I would drop out of my day and get home as quickly as I could. I remember not doing this on one occasion and then being stuck on a warm and slow tube train when the migraine finally hit me with it's full force. On getting one at the beginning of this weekend, I popped a few pills, since I was worried that it would ruin our weekend away. By Sunday, it had subsided, but this morning, it is back again. I am laying down and writing this as it is developing, but will take a nap straight after, in the hope that I can shift it before doing some more drawing this afternoon.

In the past, I have related The Tower to unexpected headaches. The migraine could be seen as the flash of lightning striking it's roof in the card. I often feel nauseous and sick during one, and the people in this card are similarly spewed out from the burning building. As the 4 of Swords shows, there is only one thing to do. In this situation, The Tower lays me out and insists that I rest.

Illustrations from The Rider Waite Tarot by Pamela Coleman Smith

Warmed by the Sun

Sometimes, you have to just believe in the cards. On turning over The Sun this morning, I felt a sense of relief. I don't often get that card, and being such a warm and positive one, it was nice to receive. The naked child rides out into the garden on his horse. It is as though he has been born again after difficulties, and the sunflowers face him in admiration and awe.

Following The Sun is the Ace of Pentacles. This is another card which promises offers and possible reward. A hand holds out a shiny pentacle from nowhere. It reminds me a little of the sun in the first card, since it is of a similar size, so I would like to think that the mysterious hand brings a little of the sun's warmth, honesty, and generosity to today's reading.

Even though I had been told I would need to wait for about three weeks to hear anything from my interview, I was certain that these cards predicted contact today, and sure enough, a lady from the Human Resources department called me. She said that I have been selected for a second interview and she will call in a week or so to let me know the date for it.

My weekend was good. My boyfriend and I travelled to Surrey to see my best friend and her husband. Her father, his partner, another friend and her girlfriend came too, and we started off the visit in a nice Thai restaurant. After a late night sitting up and chatting, we went for a walk to a country pub for a drink in the sunshine the following day, and later on finished with a Sunday roast somewhere else. Even though it was a relaxing weekend, my boyfriend and I were pretty tired after the hour drive home, and snuggled up to watch the new series of Glee.

Illustrations from The Rider Waite Tarot, by Pamela Coleman Smith

The Graphics Game

I have thought about doing some two card combinations for a while, so will continue with them via my daily draws, but to get the ball rolling, I pulled out my eleven year old Rider Waite to try one out this evening.

In these two cards, I see a contrast. In The Hierophant, two men kneel beneath their master. They have had their heads shaved as a testament of their submission. However, in the other card, Strength, a woman is shown controlling a lion. She demonstrates individuality, rather than conformity.

These cards remind me of my job hunt. At the moment, I am putting together some pages for my portfolio. Once again, I am trying to land myself a graphics job, but the Job Centre and some other people in my life think I should settle for something else. The Hierophant reminds me of the Job Centre and these people, since many other members of the unemployed do give up on their hopes, dreams and education to do something they are not interested in. For me, the woman in the Strength card is trying to master and seduce her environment to her advantage, rather than bow down to it.

Strength is a good card to receive, because it suggests that something can be overcome and that we have the inner control to succeed. For me to win at the graphics game and secure a job, I need to tame the lion. This means being prepared by putting in the time and effort that I am now. As much as I feel like slacking off and taking a nap, the lion in this card also stands for such desire and I need to keep my laziness in check. Even though a close friend recently said that she was proud of my continuing to seek out what I really want instead of succumbing to less, there is only so many more rejections I can take before laying down at the feet of The Hierophant and the Job Centre and admitting defeat.

Illustrations from The Rider Waite Tarot by Pamela Coleman Smith

Filling the Gap

I don't think this has ever happened before. Even though I spent some time shuffling last night and this particular deck has not been re-ordered since I bought it, today's cards have fallen in sequence, all from the same suit - 7 of Cups, 8 of Cups, and the 9 of Cups.

In the first card, the young man is laying on his back. He appears to be looking up at the woman above him, but on closer examination, we can see that his eyes are closed. The woman twists and turns amongst delicate streams and puffs of smoke and is not really there. She is a figment of the man's desire and dreams. The danger in this card is that she has become idealised, rather than how she actually is in reality.

In the next card, the same man is shown walking away from the woman and his child. Since the apparition in the 7 of Cups, he feels that something is missing or what he has does not match up to the unrealistic expectations he has set. He chooses to abandon his family.

These cards appear very specific to relationships, but they can describe or predict any situation in life which can become emotionally charged. I think that they are looking at my family's desire to move. Once again, our expectations do not match what is on the current market or is in our price range. The three of us dream of a house which is big enough to accommodate what our present one does and is also of the same standard. We did find one which I would class as better than what we have, but the sale fell through. Now, we are back to looking and feeling disappointed with houses that are less than our idealised dream home. This has caused my father to want to abandon the search and take the house off of the market. Even though I think he is being too dramatic, I can understand how the search for an equivalent or better home is getting him down. He has been very quiet and withdrawn today.

But wait ... in the third position, we have the 9 of Cups. The man and woman are shown in an embrace and it would seem that they finally get what each other wants and needs. Will something come along which brings hope to this situation?

These cards revolve around expectation and how we deal with it. This might regard our trying to move or it might concern personal relationships. The 7 and 8 of Cups suggests that someone is not happy and is unfulfilled, due to a desire for more than is currently on offer. The 9 of Cups grants a wish or fills the gap hinted at by the other two. Our second estate agent sent through a sample of our particulars and the photos they will be putting in their window. Even though my father didn't say much, because they have done a good job of promoting our house, I think it made him feel that little bit better.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

The Listener

The Hermit turns up once again, and in the same position as yesterday, showing an outcome of solitude and separation from others. Even if this is not something which is happening physically in my day, it might represent the way I end up feeling.

For today, I see that this feeling of being cut off is connected to the 9 of Swords, where anxiety and fear lingers. Whether it is justified or a form of paranoia, for the time that this card rules, worry will take a person over.

The King of Cups is a person who greets me today. He softens the reading, since he is supportive and ready to listen. In this card, he is shown in front of a stained glass window. Within it, water and fish swirl behind his head, but he remains focused and grounded. This man knows how to keep his own emotions in check and help others with theirs.

* * *

Whether justified or not, I am a big worrier. I can take the most crazy and unbelievable thoughts and blow them up into a major disaster. I wouldn't even speak of or write down some of the concerns which pass through my mind on a daily basis, due to how ridiculous they are. The 9 of Swords aptly alerts us to worries which are likely to never come to fruition, however real they may seem at the time.

I am not sure who the King of Cups is in this reading. Part of me wondered if he is my boyfriend, since he grounds his emotions well and regards himself as a better listener than spokesman. I guess that this is possible, since I lay the majority of my worries at his doorstep, hoping that he can take them away by either telling me I am a 'daft sod' or giving me a cuddle. He did this regarding something that was worrying me only a day ago.

Even though I thought things had got a little better between my father and I, it only took a little stress to set him off again. We visited a few houses this morning. Even though expensive, neither were large enough for our needs, which left him panicking about what we are going to do and finding ways of laying the blame on me. There is no in between with my dad. By the end of the rant, he was once again saying that we will probably have to stay where we are. Something which my mother and I will not accept. I eventually took myself out of the discussion and to my room, where I sat alone, worked on the first new page of my portfolio project, and waited for my King of Cups to arrive.

Illustration from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

The Hammering

For today, I am going to read the cards this morning, and then come back to them in the evening to see how they have panned out.

In the first card, the 8 of Swords, the woman is being held tightly by a man and doesn't appear to feel comfortable with it. She has lost her sword, which I am linking to her independence. This card tells me that I am feeling restricted today. In some way, I will feel hemmed in and unable to move forward.

The 8 of Swords is crossed by The Emperor. This man is rigid, authoritative, and often associated with the father or masculine influences. He may very well be connected to my own dad, or to situations which hinder movement or leave me feeling powerless. Because The Emperor is about the man-made world around us, he might represent information from industry or business which stops me in my tracks.

So, where does this all end up? There is a feeling of solitude to the last card, The Hermit. This card fell into my reading two days ago, leaving me feeling cut off and pushed out, so today, something or someone may have the power to single me out and leave me feeling lonely. Even though I enjoy time by myself, with the restrictive 8 of Swords and The Emperor in play, this time alone feels unnatural. I need to start a project for my second interview today and I wonder if that figures in the reading. At the moment, the pressure of it weighs on my shoulders, since I am not entirely sure how to start.

* * *

This afternoon, I ended up having a big argument with my parents. Or at least, my father in particular. As usual, my life so far was dragged up for a hammering and I was reminded of the many, many wrong decisions I have made over the years, one after another. As the correct memory of situations have been lost with time, my father filled in the holes with fabrication. Of course, he is never wrong.

So, as the drama took me away from the work I was supposed to be doing, I felt claustrophobic and trapped by my parent's verbal slamming - be that about my career, financial situation, or ridiculous desire for independence. I felt like the woman in the 8 of Swords who has lost her sword and is held in the tight grip of the past, unable to move on to something better. After our argument, I came and sat up here. I had not been able to get much work done this morning, due to a kind of designers-block, but was in no mood to try again this afternoon. When I argue in these situations, I feel alone like The Hermit, because my parents are never willing to try and see where I am coming from or take responsibility for the part that they play.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

The Key

Both the Wheel of Fortune and the 10 of Cups have shown up three times each since I started using the Art Nouveau Tarot. I think that they pinpoint a few important things. A lot of situations are out of my control at the moment, but the cards suggest that I am safe and secure in the arms of love and family, regardless.

The 4 of Coins can sometimes be selfish. The card tries to interrupt the fluidity in this reading and suggests that I am attempting to smother the growth of something today. The obvious thought would be around money. It is true that spending should be resisted while I am not working, but out of insecurity or selfishness, we can sometimes try to hold on tight to people in our life too - that might be my boyfriend or family. In terms of the latter, the unexpected altered my plans for tomorrow and I reacted by thinking only of my needs. The answer to all of the problems in this spread is through those who love me. I need to be a little less rigid in my expectations, when other people figure in them or are helping me out. Therefore, the 10 of Cups is the key to this reading and should trump my ego.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

Wisdom from the Cold

The Queen of Swords in the Art Nouveau Tarot is an interesting one. We are often told that this queen is cold, aloof, and has little emotion, but if you look closely, you will notice a single tear in each of her eyes. I never noticed this when I had the deck the first time. Neither did I notice her hands. She has squeezed the sword so tightly that her own blood slivers down it's blade. This woman has been hurt in some way and it affects her general demeanour.

Since falling out with our direct neighbours, it has been less than comfortable living here. Other local people, who my parents got along with for nearly twenty years before, blank us now. This is all due to the lies told by the couple next door, who could not cope with being asked to keep their noise down. I can't believe that people would believe the hurtful things that our neighbours have insinuated about us. At least, I would have expected others to listen to our side of the story, but they declined. The most infuriating thing is that we sincerely didn't do anything wrong, but have been ostracised and falsely reported to the police since all of this began. They know that they have lied and what they have done is wrong, even if the other neighbours around here do not.

The Hermit represents oneness and withdrawal. There are only a few people who we still talk to locally - those who have not been twisted into believing the bare faced lies offered from the bitch next door. After seeing another of our ignoring neighbours in town this morning, my mum came home and told me. At that moment, I felt angry and hurt all over again, like the jilted Queen of Swords.

It is The Hermit that this queen must now face. He has pushed her out into the cold, but we have learnt from his quiet and distanced wisdom. As my mum said today, we now know who our friends are. There is little that we can do about this situation, since The Wheel of Fortune takes responsibility out of our hands. People will believe what they want to, regardless of what is really true, but the wheel can only stay in one place for a certain amount of time. Our neighbours may feel as though they have won in the popularity stakes so far, but how long will it be before the wheel turns again and they come toppling from their current level of fake superiority?

Illustrations from the Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

The Price

Being described by this particular Moon in today's draw, I would say that my boyfriend and I can both relate to it's illustration. The woman hides from behind her veil in pretty much the same way as we have ducked out of company and spent this afternoon under my duvet. Last night's drinking had it's price and we have felt rough all day. The Moon is very much like a bottle of whisky. It alters perception and clouds those things we know to be true when sober. For today, she glides over our day and influences it with the cold rays of a hangover. As a result, we have the 5 of Coins. In this card, we see a distressed woman examining a broken pentacle. Something has been lost, and for today, it resembles the shattering of our health and the last part of the weekend, as we battle to get over our hangovers.

Having said all of that, it was a lovely night, filled to the brim with very close friends. The 10 of Cups is about unconditional love and emotional security. It is the card's love and care that I use to nurse my boyfriend and I through today. Due to feeling unwell, I have convinced him to stay here tonight and go to work that bit earlier in the morning, since I don't want him to drive this evening. As an outcome, the card shows him staying in my family home.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

Calling it a Night

When we ask someones advice, most often, we want an answer which is considered, but to the point. It is the same with the tarot. I rarely find spreads that I like because they are so often over-complicated and use too many positions. I think it is best to stay small and spend more time thinking about less cards. Today's spread is modest, but powerful.

This small, but effective, spread is by AviaVenefica. On her site, she says - "The "you" card represents (obviously) you, and your energetic tone at the moment of pulling the card. The crossing card indicates what kind of joys, fun, people, surprises, conflicts, or events you will encounter on this day. The "outcome" card gives you a clue as to how your day will conclude. Be mindful of this outcome card because it may clue you in on how you can handle conflict more effectively. If your goal is to handle interferences in your life better, set that intention as you pull that outcome card. The focus of that card will be more helpful and provide insight into how you can better handle interruptions in your day".

I always know that I need to be reined in a little when Temperance shows up. In this small reading, it involves my sometimes unpredictable and spontaneous nature, as illustrated by The Fool. My boyfriend and I had a good night out a friend's house. The company was brilliant, but in the small hours of the night, I found the desire in me to take our evening on to a bar. It was a short-lived desire, since I was tired and my boyfriend was having none of it (as shown by the 9 of Wands). Instead, we cuddled up on my mate's couch around 4am and called it a night.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

Looking to the Stars

I really like this Star card. In many decks, I feel pretty detached from the emotionless figure depicted. For this reason, I have often found the card a hard one to read or associate with the feelings of hope and inspiration that it possesses. But here, I can read something from this particular character's expression. She looks wistfully into the sky and clutches her chest. With fish jumping around her, she dreams of her future. There is a certainty and belief in her dream. She believes in the stars in the dark sky and looks towards them for guidance and inspiration. With the 10 of Cups beside her, I would say that the two cards reach out for emotional satisfaction and security as their dream.

This is an interesting version of The Wheel of Fortune. In some traditional versions, animals are shown either climbing the wheel on one side or being thrown from the other as it turns. Here, depending on where we are on it's structure, we are manipulated by either the Sun or the Moon. The wheel is mysteriously turned by fate, which means that in this trio, my hope for emotional security is out of my hands. At the moment, since I have only had my first interview for a job I really want, my fate is in the hands of the interviewers and my measure against the other interviewees.

After the interview preparation of the last week, today has been one of winding down. Both the weekend and my boyfriend are finally here, and I intend to take it easy and relax in the company of both.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

Making Wishes a Reality

After three days of preparing for an interview, I was quite pleased to see these cards fall on my interview day. Whenever I am doing something connected with work or my career, the 3 of Coins always seems to show up in my daily draws. In some decks, it relates to work. Here, the woman holds up her coin, feeling satisfied by an accomplishment met in the physical world.

I have not owned the Art Nouveau Tarot for some years. It was quite possibly the third deck I bought on my tarot journey, but was the first which made sense to me in readings. In the late 90s, I remember using it in my garden a lot on Summer's days and reading for friends in the hallways of parties. Along the way, I ended up gifting it to a teenager in America, since his religious parents would not allow him to purchase a deck himself. Even though I never regretted sending him his first tarot, I have missed the pack in recent times. I havn't seen it in shops for many years, so was surprised to see an old (and the last) copy in London today. For sentimental reasons, I couldn't help but buy it. In comparison to a lot of the slick photo-manipulated packs on the market now, many people see it as dated. Since it was painted in 1989, I am not sure what can be done about that. For me, it is like connecting to that original magic I encountered when I first began to learn the tarot, so I am not particularly bothered about the 80s flicks and perms.

This line of cards kind of tells a story. The first card (the 9 of Cups) is one of wishes and emotional satisfaction. When it turns up in a reading, I would consider that a wish will come true. For me, this would be my desire for the right job. And in the 3 of Coins, the desire is acknowledged - not in completion, but a first hurdle has been jumped.

In the centre card, a man throws a wand in the direction of the last card. The 8 of Staves (or Wands) is about swift movement. The interview went well and the director said that she would set up another one for three weeks time. All in all, these cards take my wish and turn it into a reality. It is interesting that the number of the last card echos the amount of weeks until my second interview.

Being in London, I met a friend after my interview and we had a nice catch up. After that, I met my boyfriend in the city and we went for some drinks before going back to his.

Illustrations from The Art Nouveau Tarot by Matt Myers

Finding Belief

Both of these cards look to the future. The first card concerns blessing each new action or beginning, and in my mind, is about approaching situations or a new day with a healthy mindset and positive attitude. The Lady of Unicorns is about belief. We are told in Wendy Froud's book that 'belief can help us overcome depression and despair'. I certainly think that it can make the difference between success and failure. In kabbalah, they would call this certainty overcoming doubt.

I have an appointment to see someone in the city tomorrow and have been frantically preparing stuff for them to see. As much as I am confident in my abilities, I am a little nervous about the meeting. However, the Lady of Unicorns advises me to look forward and believe in both the future and the part I can realistically play in it.

Illustrations from The Heart of Faerie Oracle by Brian & Wendy Froud

Off with their heads!

For two cards that I would usually consider as positive by their own merits, their positioning here seems a little threatening. It would appear that The Hero is about to take the Queen of Laughter's head off in one mighty swipe.

Looking at the cards in a purely physical sense, they remind me of this morning. After our disappointment of losing the house we wanted recently, we are now back to square one. During the selling process, we have received more calls from the estate agencies that we are not signed with than the ones which we have been signed to. All of whom believe they would be able to do a better job of selling our house than those who have already tried. This morning, another one was meant to come and value our property, in the view of us signing with his agency. Due to arrive at 10am, he had still not turned up by 10.30. My father finally called the agency to find out where he had got to and was told that the man was on holiday.

Looking at the cards in this light, The Queen of Laughter appears irresponsible and a little silly, for she may be taking things less seriously than she should. In The Hero I see my father or I, wishing to slice off the heads of every single useless employment or estate agent we have had the misfortune to have contact with until now.

There is such a difference between the two figures in these cards. One means business, and the other's business is to smile. As much as there are a few heads I feel like having whipped off at my order, I wonder if the cards offer me two different ways of dealing with situations. I know that The Hero is more about courage and strength than brutality or defense, but as a twosome, these cards may be asking me to consider how I react to people. Do I shrug off those things which really shouldn't merit a reaction and smile instead?

Illustrations from The Heart of Faerie Oracle by Brian & Wendy Froud

Standing up to the Past

At the risk of disappearing down another black hole, I have decided to bring the faeries back to my blog for another blast. I didn't feel as though my work with them was done when I changed decks recently, and if truth be told, they have surprisingly brought me stronger insight than most packs I have used in a long time.

As an extra draw for today, I have pulled The Challenge and The Lady of Sorrows.

As some kind of obstruction, the faerie in the first card stands in my way. She presents an obstacle which must be overcome and a need for confidence. She should be stood up to, despite the fact that she is whispering doubts in my ear and pleading with me to give something up.

Often, these challenges are brought about by our self, for it is our own inner demons which try to instill doubt and drag us down. For me, this rings true, since I never believe I am good enough to attempt the tasks in front of me. The second card brings a little more understanding to the table. She is a faerie of the past, adding every one of my sad experiences to the mix. With upsets, disappointments, and crushed confidence on her lips, it is her who I need to stand up to.

I need to believe in myself this week, since challenges lay ahead. In terms of jobs I have applied for, I must believe that I am exactly the person that the employer wants and prove it through preparation, research, and with confidence. I should not let past sorrows hold me back. They need to be stood up to and moved on from.

Illustrations from The Heart of Faerie Oracle by Brian & Wendy Froud

Growth

In this card, something has been conceived and will soon be ready to be born. Showing a foetus in the womb, Da Vinci's sketch suggests the birth of an endeavour. Even though the foetus is scrunched up, it will soon be time for it to enter the world.

This card refers to the opportunity I have been speaking about in the last few days. I am working on a few things which I hope to finish in a couple of days, but at the moment, they are not quite ready. The number '3' is about growth and initial achievement. I have developed some ideas for a situation which I hope will help my working career, but there is still more to be done.

Yesterday was my boyfriend's last day of holiday. We spent it at his family home with his parents, brother, sister-in-law, and his two nieces. It was a relaxed afternoon and it wound him down before his first day back at work.

I have spent today at home. Continuing to work with my ideas, I have been drawing up new projects and refurbishing old ones.

Illustration from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonado Da Vinci

Filling the Hole

This card shows Leonardo Da Vinci's design for a combustion engine. However, in terms of using these plans for building an automobile, his theoretical understanding had it's flaws. This is the key to the 8 of Water. When something is missing from a plan, such as Leonardo's limited understanding, we need to go in search of what it is that will fill that hole. In many situations, this would mean abandoning something which is lacking - be it a job, relationship, or project that is not working out or feels incomplete. The 8 of Water is therefore a card of movement.

This card has a small, but important, relevance today. With a career opportunity in mind, it suggests research. Some of this was done via the internet this afternoon, but my boyfriend has agreed to take me out tomorrow so I can do a bit more. I need to seek knowledge of those things which I am not aware as it will give me a better chance of success in the long run.

Illustration from The Da Vinci Enigma by Leonardo Da Vinci

Home is where the Heart is

Once again, I have drawn the 10 of Water this week. As already mentioned on Wednesday, it has associations with the family, commitment, trust, and unconditional love.

After a long wait, my boyfriend's fifth niece was born last Sunday evening and we visited her the next day. His brother had loosely suggested a 'wetting of the baby's head' session, but leading up to it, we realised that we had already made plans and were not sure if we'd be able to attend. I had wondered if this loose arrangement might have something to do with this card turning up today, since brotherly love is often unconditional.

Due to circumstance, my boyfriend and I did not make it over to his brother's drink up as our own plans ran on for that bit longer into the evening. We went to see one of my oldest and closest friends for lunch.

When you see a card like the 10 of Water, most people think of the members of their biological family. But for me, as an only child and someone who does not connect with extended family too often, I have a stronger bond with my close friends. One in particular, who I have known since being a very small child, I think of as my sister. On hearing about my engagement, she actually sent my boyfriend a message, addressing him as her 'future brother-in-law'. My handful of close friends are yet to let me down. In my book, home and family is where heart, effort, and consistency lays, rather than blood.

With a burning sun in the sky, we sat out in the hostess's garden with another friend and their kids for the afternoon and some of the evening. The wine bottles drank themselves dry and we got home at a very reasonable hour. The 10 of Water shows emotional security as both the sun and warmth around me begins to dry out the darker spells of recent times.

Illustration from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci

Worth Every Penny

Last night was lovely. The food in the restaurant was really good, as was the company, but after three hefty courses, I felt ready to pop. Knowing that I had a lot to do today, on coming back to my boyfriend's house, I made my apologies to his parents, and went straight to bed.

Today was perfect. We got up early and took my boyfriend's niece and nephew to London, picking up my friend and her son on the way. After the hour's train ride, we hit Kensington and visited the Science and Natural History museums. Both were far too large to get round in their entirety, but we found the interactive section in one (which the children adored) and visited the dinosaurs in the other. We split the two museums with a break for lunch - a good excuse for me to also drag them to Bond Street for half an hour to visit The Kabbalah Centre.

After a few days of damp weather and not feeling well, today was extremely sunny and I felt a whole lot better. I wasn't sure how taking kids out amongst the immense crowds of London would be, but all three of them behaved impeccably. My boyfriend's niece and nephew had never met my friend's son before and the three of them got on famously - playing and laughing all day, and with no qualms about sharing their toys or time with one another. Even though us three adults were severely worn out by the end of it all, it was a satisfying journey and worth every penny.

So, what of the 3 of Earth? In the Da Vinci Enigma Tarot, it is a card of perspective. In other traditional methods of tarot reading, it also deals with the physical elements of life and the rewards of hard work. That work becomes the measure for all we receive. I don't want to go into this in too much detail at the moment, but the card makes a lot of sense for today. I received a phone call about an opportunity which has been measured by my previous work and effort.

Illustration from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci

Coming Home

In today's card, we have the 10 of Water. The illustration is part of Leonardo's study for the Virgin and St Anne, in which Christ is shown touching a lamb and therefore confirming his own destiny as the Lamb of God. It is a card of emotional fulfillment and family structure.

The last time that I received this specific card was at the end of last Summer. At the time, it provoked me to reminisce over a previous relationship. I wrote - "At the beginning of this year, I saw the work 'Madonna and Child with St Anne and the Young St John' (1807-08) in the National Portrait Gallery in London whilst on a date. When I drew this card this morning, my memories of standing and looking at the picture with my date on that magical Winter's day engulfed me. When relationships go wrong, people sometimes hide away from these good memories or only remember the lulls, but despite things not working out as either of us had hoped at the time, the day was a special one and links particularly well to the card in question. The 10 0f Water is a card of warmth and emotional security. After being by myself for a long time before him, being held on that particular day felt a little like coming home after a long journey or finally being accepted".

I chose to include that paragraph from my old journal in today's post because the words really sum up what this card is about for me. When we come home to our family or those we trust, we leave our coat at the door, for their love is enough to keep us safe and warm. I did not love my ex, but for the short time that we were dating, I felt accepted again, after so many years of being single.

Reading back over my old journal, it is interesting to note that the man who I am in love with now was just about to enter my life. My fiance and I had met once or twice previously before we began to date, but at that point, I had no idea that things would develop in the way that they have. The 10 of Water has deeper levels for me now, since I relate it to feeling warm and secure in his love and care.

I am still not feeling 100%. This morning, my boyfriend and I went out to meet a friend for coffee, and I took things as easily as possible. I showed him today's card when we awoke today and he responded with 'that's apt'. He is taking his parents and I out to a lovely restaurant this evening to thank them for their support over the last six months. They have let him live with them and have been extremely supportive since he moved from where he was living up North. On the weekend, he said to me 'You're part of the family now'. As the months have unfolded, being a member of his family feels more natural and I think that this is why the 10 of Water has spilled out into my daily draw today.

Illustration from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci

It's Only A Winter's Tail

After yesterday's card, it is nice to see another of Leonardo Da Vinci's hand studies. In the 6 of Earth, a ghostly hand reaches out to find another. It offers support and sharing.

Not feeling any better, I made a doctor's appointment for this morning. Even though my GP is always very supportive, she said there was little that could be done for what she described as the tail end of a Winter virus. She told me to rest up and not burn the candle at both ends. With things planned for the next couple of days, this is easier said than done, so in between things I had to do today, I have spent time sleeping and laying down. As much as this is a card of both giving and receiving, it is also one of compromise.

My boyfriend cooked dinner for my parents and I this evening and we told them about our engagement. He spent a long time making the meal from scratch and it was worth the wait. Still feeling lethargic and bordering on a cold, I slipped into some nasty-but-comfy house clothes afterwards and we relaxed together in my room. Last night, we both changed our relationship status to engaged on Facebook. We were greeted with over fifty messages of congratulations, which was warming. This is another element of the sharing and support suggested by the 6 of Earth.

Illustrations from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci

Rest and Recuperation

Due to not feeling so well, I have not written here in a couple of days. I have felt exhausted and pretty nauseous since Friday morning. Even though I should have taken things a bit more easily, our evening out with friends at the start of the weekend ended up becoming pretty full on. My boyfriend had taken me aside later on in the evening and asked if I would get engaged to him. Of course, I was really happy about this and our celebrations went on for a few hours longer.

It is three days later, I am still not feeling myself, and I wonder if I have picked up some sort of bug. Yesterday was spent with our friend. She cooked us a curry, and we relaxed in front of her television, watching 'Who's afraid of Virginia Wolfe?' and a few episodes of 'What Katie did next'. It was just what I needed to wind down but today's card tells me that a little more rest and recuperation is needed.

The 4 of Air is a card of repose. It shows what is thought to be a study for Leonardo Da Vinci's lost painting The Lady of Lichtenstein. The woman cradles her pregnant stomach with one of her hands. This reminded me of my own gestures over the past few days, as I think my own ongoing stomach problems may have something to do with how I have been feeling. This card suggests rest and recuperation. As it is Easter Monday, we have been invited over to my boyfriend's parent's house for the afternoon. His aunt and uncle are bringing his nan over. Even though I am looking forward to being there, I will take it easy and will probably avoid alcohol until I am feeling better.

Illustrations from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci

Sensual Healing

The 10 of Wands is a card of burden and the poor guy in this version looks fit to break and drop his heavy load. With all that has been happening of late, I know how he feels, as stresses or disappointments have been stacked upon my shoulders, one after another. It is surprising how these things can weigh you down if you let them.

It is interesting that this young man looks as though he is carrying his stack of wands to the waiting Empress. At first, I wondered if the two cards predicted a friend giving birth today. The Empress is traditionally linked to the mother and it would not be too radical to link the 1o of Wands to her overdue pregnancy or an exhausting labour. But should she not give birth to her daughter today, these cards signify care and support after difficulty in my own set of circumstances - whether I am the carer or the cared for. The trio might provoke a little pampering, a weight off of my mind, or some kind of sensual healing. With the 9 of Cups at the end of this row, the cards ask what would make me feel better right now.

My boyfriend's holiday begins today. He has eleven days off and we have made plans throughout the next week. Because he commutes every day, he is often tired by the time he gets to me in an evening. I can see this exhaustion in the man from the 10 of Wands. As he meets with The Empress, he is greeted with the abundance and warmth of her landscape. Water runs freely from the waterfall in the distance and a feast is laid out in the garden of the 9 of Cups behind her. My boyfriend's time off starts here. Even though we are seeing friends tomorrow, tonight will be relaxed. We have decided to pop out and get some food when he gets here in an hour and will then probably take it easy in my room for the remainder of the evening.

Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot, by Giovanni Caselli