Below the Surface

I have been offline for a couple of days, due to computer problems. Fortunately, this is not as bad as it might sound. After my computer didn't turn on last week, I wasn't surprised to be greeted with a blank screen yesterday, so I did my usual turning on and turning off routine, hoping that it would eventually kick into action as it did before. It didn't, and it was only after I had sat here for many hours more, staring into nothing, that I realised that the screen was turned off. I sometimes swing it around so I can read it or watch television in bed and must have knocked the off switch when turning it back before sleep the night before. I guess you can only laugh!

The High Priestess looks beyond our consciousness and what we believe to be real. She'd have known that the screen for my computer was off. Today, she is about searching deep within to find our answers. She reminds me of what I said to a friend this afternoon about a decision she had just made. I told her that deep down she knows she did the right thing, despite those thoughts and feelings which flicker about on the surface of our conscious mind.

I am on my second day of a big week in one of my schools. I had been a bit nervous about the amount of work I was going to be doing this week. I haven't done a stretch like this since before I was first diagnosed with chronic fatigue, but today, I don't feel as tired as I thought I might. It has been a long seven hours and I have had a lot to concentrate on, but I doubt that I feel any more whacked than the other three practitioners I am working with. I was asked if I could work on Wednesday as well, which will mean five days of work this week, and I agreed. I think that the amount I have to do is part of what is keeping me going. Tomorrow will be a big day for me. I am taking my sewing machine in, as I have been scheduled to work with a handful of the twenty classes. I am making the fabric sides of a Big Top in one class, some theatre curtains in another, sewing another patchwork wall-hanging, and am assisting with a t-shirt printing session. All exciting stuff. My original patchwork hanging is now on display in the school. The handyman couldn't put it exactly where I wanted it, but it's up and I have had a lot of thanks and praise for my efforts.

Despite getting things ready for tomorrow, I was hoping for a quiet evening. When I am working, I feel as though I can relax without guilt. One of my old clients wrote and asked if we could schedule a live online reading this week and tonight is one of the only evenings I can do, so I will sign into MSN and speak with her a little later. I have a handful of people who I still read for on a regular basis, which I enjoy. As things stand, I am in a good place; yup, a little tired and looking forward to my bed later, but in a good place all the same.



Illustration from The Morgan Greer Tarot by Bill Greer