Less than my Best

My friend and I didn't get to sleep until 3am this morning. As usual, when I stay there she pulls down the sofa bed in her living room and we both sleep on it together. We watched some television for a while and then both tried our best to get some shut-eye, but without success. We ended up talking, since both of us were wide awake. This is not new for me, as I am finding it increasingly hard to shut down at bedtime these days. Of course, having to rise early this morning to get my friend's daughter ready for nursery left me feeling less than my best. I think that Monday really took it out of me and with five hours sleep under my belt from last night, I felt drained.

My friend is studying for her doctorate in psychology and works voluntarily on a Wednesday, so the two of us made it to the train station for 1, and after saying our goodbyes, disappeared down the train line in opposite directions. Another mate suggested meeting for a coffee and catch-up in the town I was heading to, but due to having run out of energy, I passed on it and made my way home. I needed to walk passed Waterstones on my journey back and thought I would have a quick browse through their new age shelves all the same. As usual, they had little of interest, but in wanting to treat myself to 'something', pulled out an oracle by Stewart Pearce. I sat in the little seating area they have on the second floor and started to punch it's details into my Blackberry to see if I could find any of the images from the deck, which is illustrated by Richard Crookes. I like to try before I buy, where possible.

It's funny, because I always say that I have little interest in angels. I said as much to my mate last night. However, I do seem to have a good few angel decks in my collection. What I like about this one is that they do not take the form of winged Adonises and insipid maternal-looking types. In this deck, they come to the table as brightly coloured orbs and below each is an image, representative of the card's title. There are twelve Archangels and each is split into it's different aspects. This kind of splitting was something I haven't cared for in other decks previously, but it seems to work quite nicely here. You're left with a deck of pretty modern but ageless-looking cards. Each of the 44 cards has a magic and depth to it which many of the other modern-styled oracles I've seen seem to lack.

For today, I have one of the aspects of Sandalphon. The card is called Intention. It would appear from what I read that Sandalphon is an angel of power, and here, it is shown in his will. Working as a prompt, the card asks me 'What do I intend to do today?'.

By the time I got home, I was feeling weaker, and after some food, I went to bed for a couple of hours. Boy, did I sink into that mattress. My mum woke me from my totally undisturbed sleep so that I could get ready to go to my boyfriend's and I felt like an empty shell. My boyfriend's mum always cooks for me on a Wednesday, so I didn't want to call and cancel so late in the day. I felt like a zombie on the drive over here, but laying on my boyfriend's bed and watching the television has relaxed me.

My intention for today is to rest tomorrow. I had planned to meet friends in town and then get down to some stuff on the sewing machine, but I have just mentally scribbled all of that out. I need to be well for work on Friday, so I intend to do as little as possible.



Illustration from The Angels of Atlantis Oracle Cards by Stewart Pearce and Richard Crookes