Bloody Tearaways!

Today's cards are interesting. Mainly because I think they are speaking of a situation in my subconscious; something I am mildly aware of, but have not yet completely acknowledged. Do you remember me saying that when a court falls on the left, I see it as representing myself? Well, there I am; the Knight of Cups, trotting into the distance with my chalice slowly. Behind me sits the King of Pentacles. He's holding one of those discs I've been talking about in my last couple of posts, but I have chosen not to take it on my journey.

Even though I am yet to make my mind up about the job in the kids referral unit, I wonder if these cards suggest that my commitment to the idea is weakening. The King of Pentacles becomes my agency. He holds the dollar, but maybe money has little to do with the decision. The Knight of Cups is a sensitive chap. I'm not so sure that he could handle it in a place like that.

I was thinking that this knight would rather choose something he is passionate about than take a job just for the money, but here, that doesn't entirely follow because I am genuinely interested in supporting kids that have somehow fallen off of the system and would like to find ways to help them get back onto it again. I would be a liar if I said I hadn't been thrown from the same horse a couple of times myself. Many of the kids who were rioting a week or so ago had lost their way and I see creative and inspiring projects like this as being a step towards getting them back on the right road; helping them find skills and interests which they won't want to lose. Of course, I need work and money, but these jobs always mean much more to me than that. I am just not sure I have the armour of steel needed to work on this specific one. I read in the notes that the kids can be physically defensive, but I feel as though it is my emotions which are most at risk. Children can sense fear or a lack of confidence in others.

So as we stand, I am yet to make a decision. This knight needs to choose what is the best for him and not feel guilty about walking away from work, which I know I will, should I pass this up. I am meeting two friends this evening and will chat with them about it. One is a teacher. I don't think that she has worked in schools with a bad reputation, as I already have, but she might have some pearls of wisdom to depart.

I am surprised that The Tower didn't catapult itself into my reading today, since I have what my mum would call a muzzy head. The card often turns up with migraines. I tried to sleep it off for a couple of hours, wearing an eye mask to block out the light, but it is still nestled in the front of my forehead. It's funny how I always seem to get these kind of headaches when there is a change in the weather. It has gone from being pretty sunny to dark and rainy this afternoon. I didn't get much sleep last night and was up from 4am. There was a real noise outside of my boyfriend's house and when I got up to see what it was, I counted at least eight foxes, running around the green. They were making a real racket and two of them were up on their hind legs, fighting. I guess they could have been youngsters, playing with one another. I don't think I have ever seen that many foxes together at one time. It was as though they were having a riot of their own, as they fought and tried to rip their way through rubbish bags, looking for food. It could just be their night out on the green that has given me my headache. Bloody tearaways!




Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli