Third Time Lucky

This is one of my favourite cards from The Favole Tarot. The black rose is beautiful, as is love, but it can bring pain as well. It has thorns, and in this card, easily cuts Favole's hand.

Today is our anniversary. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. When I think of our relationship in one way, it feels like a long time; in other ways, it seems far longer or much less. The Ace of Flowers looks at a beginning in the emotional realm, as we start out on our third year together. Even though we spend a lot of time together, we have still not moved in to our own place yet. Sometimes, I feel a little embarrassed by the fact that I am living with my parents again, as I think at my age I should be more independent. However, I look at other friends of mine and realise that even though they do have their own places, they still depend heavily on their parents for support - whether that is financially or using them for consistent babysitting. I have to remember that I am a little further forward on my journey than I was at this time last year and be proud of that. Where will the offer of this ace take me next?

Sometimes, it takes many years for us to get to know another person. A lot of people rush into things; I moved in with an ex pretty quickly when I was in my 20s. We started off in to a shared house within six months, mainly due to convenience, and within a year or so, had our own lovely little flat in North London. It was the first one we looked at and we immediately snapped it up. It was a modern build with just one bedroom and a tiny gallery kitchen, but we loved it. At that point, when all of my friends were either living in their parental homes or student-like accommodation, we felt like the adults, paying our bills and having people round for dinner parties. I remember being so excited about moving in and my friend and I went all over London, looking for colour-coordinated things for my new home. When friends came over, I'd light candles all over the living room; their flickering would catch in a mystical-looking pewter beaded curtain that hung behind the arch of our kitchen doorway. In the bedroom, I had hung some muslin around the window, which I'd dyed a deep pink. With the window open, it would blow out over our sumptuous large red bed. That was where I worked with my first proper deck, The Rohrig. After dinner, I would take friends in there and we'd sit cross legged on top of the bed, turning over the cards. With me as a newbie to tarot, I wasn't sure what they all meant, but we'd talk our way through the images, finding new ways of approaching what was going on in our lives.

I have different ideas for my next flat. My boyfriend is more concerned about what television we will have, but I have a loft of collected bits and bobs, ready to unleash on it - large golden buddhas, old prints, antique bottles, and of course, Barny, my owl. I have managed to save some money up for our first place together. I just need to get consistent work to make it a reality. Even if I work as hard as I have for the last seven or eight months, landlords require a less erratic income for me to rent from them. Maybe the third year of our relationship will prove third time lucky and we'll make that jump. Part of me says 'what's the rush?'. There is something to be said for taking relationships in their own time, rather than doing what you think you should be doing just because it is expected by others. At nearly 40, I am still rebelling; just in a different way than I once was.

For our second anniversary, we haven't planned anything too extravagant. In fact, we haven't planned anything at all. It is nice and sunny out, even if tinged with a slight cold breeze. One of my closest friends lives about eight doors away and in recent years, our parents have become friends. We have visited them for drinks and they have been here, so today, it is their turn to entertain us, so my parents and boyfriend are going there this afternoon for a barbecue. It will be seven of us, including my friend's 9 year old son.

Today's card brings the emotion of two people together to make one single rose. I guess it is the offer of another year together, before we celebrate our relationship again.



Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances