Threshing the Grain

I was sitting outside a cafe this morning, reading a little DuQuette. My fingers ached, as did my neck and the back of my head. Chronic fatigue? Once again, quite possibly. As I sat there, it began to upset me. I hate how it has become part of my life, and with each day, how it lays a little extra onto the already growing load I am dealing with. Sometimes, it is as though it has stolen my life and all of the things I was once able to do are clouded in tiredness and aches.

I sipped at my coffee, and while waiting for a friend to join me, another face from the past spotted me and pulled a chair up at my table. After a catch-up, my friend finally arrived, and he finished his coffee and said his goodbyes. Once gone, I spoke with my mate about the problems from the weekend and received her side of the story. Not taking sides, as I didn't with the others yesterday, I listened and tried to be as supportive as I could be. Our conversation reminded me of the tarot's Tower. Things build up in relationships over time and tensions reach a climax. I think that for all of the friends of mine who were out last weekend, the evening was pushed over the edge by too much alcohol, where people's emotions and niggles were easily coaxed out. Of course, I want these friends to form friendships again, which I am sure they will, but it would probably make sense for them to all take a bit of time out until things have cooled down. None of my mates are complete angels. They all have their moments, as do I. From my own experience, I know this, but all the same, I hate to see any one of them cry or feel lost in this way.

Ok, so today we have the Knight of Disks. In The Thoth deck, the knight is the highest rank in a court card family, making him the equivalent of a king in other sets. As with a lot of what I have read in the last couple of days, I find it hard to repeat what I have learnt coherently, but I kind of understand Crowley's choice of turning the traditional king into knight as having something to do with his ability to battle for the queen's affection. As I remember, it is rooted in cosmic chivalry, since the knight on horseback is said to win the queen and this more virile court was apparently a more appropriate title for a character who represents the Yod in YHVH (the divine and umpronouncable name of God). Since he serves to impress the queen, to some extent you might see the two top figures of the court line-up as being that bit more equal than in packs where the king rules all. I kind of like that. It works in a similar way with the gender split between Prince and Princess, as appose to the age split between 'traditional Knight' and Page. If all of this is as clear as mud to you, please don't shoot the messenger, shoot Crowley.

So, how does this knight affect me today? There are a few clues about the character of this man in the card. Firstly, he holds a flail. This tool was adapted as an improvised weapon throughout the Middle Ages, but here, with his helmet away from his face, it would seem that he has no interest in fighting. This would leave me to believe that he wants it for its original use, to separate the grain or seeds from a plant by beating them; this is called threshing. As we might expect from this knight, his interest in the physical and financial world around him are of most importance. His stability and wealth is measured by how much he can obtain from his land.

I am not entirely sure how this knight fits into my day. I'd like to have thought that his hard work and enterprising skills might have brought opportunity or financial acquisition with him, but so far, it would seem not. He's at the top of his game, so he could represent someone who holds the potential key to helping me out with my finances or employment. If he stands for an opportunity or situation, then maybe he symbolises not the most dynamic of offers or events, but one which is stable and that can be depended on.

I am boyfriendless this evening. I usually go over to his on a Wednesday, but because I need to be there tomorrow for our meal out and then the drive to the coast the next day, I am spending tonight here. It'll give me a chance to pack and get things ready. My stomach is kind of acting up, so I am pretty pleased to be in the comfort of my own home. Getting a bit frustrated with my bed today, my mother and I pulled off the beige headboard and covered it. She and my father had bought me some expensive black bedding while out as they knew I was getting irritated by the cheap stuff I had bought previously, so we tried to tie the headboard in by covering it in a silver and black floral fabric that I had originally bought to make a dress with. My room feels comfortable and far better than it did before. I have some fabric left over, so I may make a few small cushion covers to accent it. With an early night planned, that is about it from me tonight.



Illustration from The Thoth Tarot by Lady Frieda Harris