Hollow Victory

From the Mountain Dream, we have the 9 of Cups. I'm kind of looking at this card in a different way than usual today. In many books I have read, it suggests that a wish will be granted, but sitting here in my new room this morning with the sun bursting through the window, I am seeing it as an opportunity to give thanks for those wishes that have already been acknowledged. If you'd asked me what my wish was this time last year, with work about to start in the January, I'd have wished for us to move. Well, we have now. So even though I am yet again looking for work, I am thankful for the prayers that have already been answered. The guy on this card looks kind of strange (as many of the blokes on variations of the 9 of Cups do - the one in the Gilded Tarot is just darn creepy) but he appears satisfied, with his cups lined up. I'd say he's had his wishes granted, even if he has nobody to share them with.

I kind of see this card in a similar way to the 4 of Cups. The figure in that has three cups and doesn't need a fourth, so I am not entirely sure what this guy plans on doing with nine. Could it suggest an element of greed? My boyfriend's mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas last night. I picked out a book and a deck of cards, but she said I could choose far more than just those. As generous as that is, I stuck with what I had chosen. Those two things were enough for me and I would have been picking stuff out for the sake of spending a certain amount of cash. I really appreciate her kindness, but the gifts she and my boyfriend's dad give me will be special, however many of them there are. Card decks which are gifted always have a special place in my collection. The one I am using today was a Christmas present from my parents a few years ago. It's one I desired for many years.

Something feels as though it is missing today and I am not entirely sure what it is. I have just got back from my boyfriends, enjoying a nice walk through the long alleyway to my house, which is lined with beautiful trees and bushes. I feel as though I should be doing something now that I am home, but am not sure what. I have some more applications to send off, so I will start with that. There is a contentedness to the 9 of Cups, which as nice as it is, I don't feel comfortable with sitting and enjoying. It's that same old guilt of not working again, I guess. When you receive the luxury and abundance of this card without earning it, it can feel like a hollow victory.


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles