The Last Laugh and the Worn Out Coat

I wanted to return to the blog with the Hanson Roberts. It's such a beautiful little deck, which never seems to miss a trick. Take today's three cards for example; that's one of 'my' personal cards sitting there in the middle, describing me at this time. The Hermit usually finds me when I am seeking solitude, which I am at the moment. The cards around 'me' are the surrounding energies. The first, The Hanged Man, shows me hanging up my coat for a period of time and taking a step back. The second, Death, is about transformation and cutting away what is no longer needed; in this threesome, this has a lot to do with the social side of life.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I like to pull back from time to time. After twenty-odd years of partying and all that goes with it, I want a little quiet time and yearn for something different. I am not into big groups and flamboyant occasions as much as I was, so parties and general acquaintances have passed their 'sell-by' for me. The angel of death is hacking away at what no longer interests and is laying it all to rest at the bottom of the card. All of the dramas and social politics within friendships go with them.

It's been a week since I last wrote here. The move was absolutely exhausting, but a success. For many days afterwards, I felt as though I was stuck in Groundhog Day, since each morning, we'd be pulling more boxes from the full garage and unpacking them. It seemed never-ending. However, with friends, we have cleaned and unpacked and tidied. Our stamp is well and truly on the bungalow now, and despite the oldy-worldy wallpaper in most rooms (which will soon be stripped), it has started to feel like our home pretty quickly. I much prefer the layout of this house to our last and we seem to have so much more room. For instance, I can now fit two extra wardrobes, a massive armchair, ottoman and display cabinet in my room, which I wouldn't have had a hope in hell of squeezing into my last one; not to mention my old mannequin, Little Joe, who has made it down from the loft and now stands next to the bookshelves.

Despite the stress of the last two and a half years, it would appear that Oddbod did us a favour. One of the women from our last neighbourhood reported back and said that she had seen her talking with the new occupants and was all over them like a rash. It's no less than I expected. It's kind of funny really. She thinks she has won, but as I stretch out here in my large (and most importantly, quiet) room or look out at the breathtaking views of either woodland or hills from our new lounge windows, I am pretty damn sure that it is us who have the last laugh.

I had my first drink for nearly a month and a half a few days ago. As I had been moaning about doing something different, my boyfriend paid for me to meet him and his friend in London to see the recording of a programme at BBC Television Centre. Ok, it wasn't the most exciting of programmes, but it made a change. We had a laugh and I got to know his mate better, who was really good company. We found a pub in Shepherds Bush afterwards, which was dark and had a small grotto-like outside seating area at it's heart. I resisted the cigarettes but had a few wines. The glasses flowed, as I struck up conversation with two young blokes. Even though I didn't drink much, it did go to my head. I used to love drinking, but at the moment, it feels like a worn out coat I am sick of being seen in. We still had a good evening, since the point of it was the television show and the chat between the three of us, but when asked to go out with my boyfriend and the guys in his family for drinks this evening, I declined. I like everyone in my boyfriend's family a lot, but knowing that it will probably be a big drink-up, I thought I'd rather leave them to it this time. Another friend asked me to town to see a band in a pub locally, but I said I probably wouldn't make that either. I am not hanging up my tankard completely; I just want those times when I do go out for a drink to be special, rather than the norm.

So, The Hermit as the middle card shows me at home, alone this evening out of choice. As surrounding energies, the other two major cards do a little cleaning up of my lifestyle and community. I have willingly' stepped out of the social scene for a while as a form of sacrifice. With less cash than I had six months ago, I am holding back my pennies, so my boyfriend and I can do more exciting and satisfying things with them in the months to come.


Illustrations from The Hanson-Roberts Tarot by Mary Hanson-Roberts