You are Beautiful

'The sunflower does not despair for not being a rose' - Lucy Cavendish


Before bed, I looked at yesterday's cards again and felt a jolt in my stomach. Suddenly, they began to mean something other than I had first interpreted and I was surprised that I hadn't seen it initially. I have a friend who I have consistent communication with but who I haven't spoken to in a few weeks. I've sent a few messages in the last couple of days to see if she is alright, but have heard nothing. Prior to these messages, she said she had been feeling down and also had the flu, but I am surprised to have not heard from her in the last week. It's quite unusual as she usually calls back pretty quickly. I began to wonder if the central 3 of Cups (in the position of myself or what is important) was suggesting that the subject of yesterday's draw was actually about a friend and someone within my social community. If so, what surrounds the friend is constriction (maybe due to her own destructive thoughts) and some kind of possible breakdown - the cat in the 10 of Swords looks as though he's had enough. I am a little concerned about the feline in the 8 of Swords, who appears locked up in some way and cannot find freedom. Are the cards letting me know that she is not at her best and needs my support? Something doesn't seem right, so I sent a message to my friend's mother this morning, to see if she can shed some light.

Today's card is from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle and is called Beauty's Truth. The write up in the accompanying book is interesting. It basically says that there is beauty within all of us, but that we will not find it in totality by dwelling on the physical. As I have been dieting, I have weighed myself every morning and spent that bit more time looking at my face in the mirror, noticing it slim down to what I recognise. Am I becoming obsessed with trying to find the face of my youth? Cavendish would suggest that I am beautiful whether I lost that extra stone and a half or not.

It is said that female fae despise the finer qualities of their men, preferring the imperfections of mortals. As much as I like the conventional beauty in a smile of someone like Kenzie Roth, when you get to know a person, it is sometimes the less conventionally attractive parts of their looks that become beautiful; be it my boyfriend's wrinkled brow when he is concentrating, his quivering lip when he sleeps or the little smile he gives me when he wants something. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is a good looking man, but it is the small quirks in his personality and mannerisms that I love and recognise beauty in; I just wish I could appreciate the beauty within my own, which is what I think this card is all about.

I took a trip out this morning to get some floor tiles for my room. I won't be laying them yet, but my boyfriend has said he'll help me start to strip the walls soon and paint them. There's no rush really, but it would be nice to make this room just that little bit more like my own. He's ordered me a nice big bronze angel for Christmas, which I can already envisage standing on my display cabinet before fresh cream walls. As I sit here amongst the swirly pattern of the previous occupants carpet and the browned floral wallpaper, I wonder if today's card is less to do with my own physical beauty and more to do with my physical environment. I appreciate that it was probably quite beautiful in it's own time. It could do with some freshening up, but I can live with this decor for that bit longer.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech