Hiding Away in the Workshop

This is an interesting little combination. When I look at it, I see a whole picture. A man measures up a pentacle in his workshop. He has completed seven already and takes care with the eighth. They all need to be the same. Outside of his studio, three women dance with cups. It looks as though they are toasting something. The man doesn't acknowledge them, but carries on with his work.

Traditional meanings have their place, but often, one of the nice things about tarot is to interpret the pictures as they strike you. Besides, why illustrate them at all if we rely only on set interpretations, regardless of the different images and styles each deck posesses? You'd be surprised how many people do exactly that.

I have been putting together the patchwork squares from the course in the hotel today. They need sewing into rows first. Even though I told them all that each needed to be a specific size and that they must leave a 1cm seam allowance for me to sew, you wouldn't believe just how many people have paid no attention. For it to look flush, like the man in the 8 of Pentacles is doing, they really should all be meassured equally. I can see myself in this male figure, sizing them all up as I pinned and sewed. I am no where near completing the wall-hanging, but I have sewn twenty or something together. I shall do a little a day.

The workman's studio was open for more than just the patch working today. I made up a pattern for a girl's dress this afternoon and cut the fabric and lining material. I used my overlocker for the first time, and even though it started off quite nicely, as before, it leaked oil and was not easy to thread. Worrying that it was going to be more trouble than it is worth and concerned about the consistently greasy and oily bottom, I took it back to the store and got a refund. If I had left it too long, I might have been stuck with a faulty machine. I am disappointed to have had to return it, but I think it is for the best. I will give it some thought, but I think I might get myself a printer for my computer with the money, as I don't have one right now.

A friend texted me this morning, saying that she was off of work and wondered if I was interested in meeting for coffee. Because of the time it will take for me to sew my patchwork throw, I will be billing my agency for work done at home. This is fine with them and is what most practitioners do. So with that in mind for today, I told my mate that I was working, and this is what I see in today's cards - my staying in my room, crafting this and that, and hiding away from whatever else is going on in the outside world.


Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

Down-Time

While we were walking into town on Friday, my boyfriend and I stumbled on some new building work. At first, we couldn't believe what we were seeing and assumed that it must be a temporary thing, but after a little research, we have discovered that it will be a permanent fixture - the entrance to what will be our refurbished museum and gallery.

So, picture this. The museum, which was acquired in 1858, consists of an Elizabethan manor house, with earlier Tudor buildings to it's rear. Behind it is a small park of gardens. It has a bandstand, which people sit around in the summer for open-air music events. I have watched my friend sing jazz there before. But now, something is being added to the mix. A massive gold box has been erected on both the front and back, sandwiching the quaint old building between them. I am always up for progression and change, but this looks just terrible. It's like dressing up the Queen of England in one of Lady GaGa's stage outfits. And all of it will cost over two million pounds of lottery funds.

This isn't the first time that this town has been defiled in this way. We also have a giant stone needle that flashes different colours throughout the day and night. This £24,000 monstrosity stands right next to the traffic lights on the one-way system. Probably not the safest of places to have put it. But even worse than this, in the 90s, we lived with a giant, smiling sheep on our high street. To my memory, I was as tall as just one of it's legs. It was eventually taken away, as I think that too many Friday night drunks tried to climb inside of it. My reason for bringing this story of the gold box to the blog is that it annoys me. The council are happy to endorse this kind of eyesore, but the art college, which I (and the famous artist Tracey Emin) went to is being closed, due to a lack of cash. Don't get me wrong. An art gallery is a great thing. I just wish that there was a little respect for the existing architecture and landscape. I wonder who it is that commissions these things.

Today's cards look at a variety of potential opportunities. I looked around my room this morning when I awoke. My patchwork bedspread has five lines on it at the moment and lays beneath my sewing machine. I could add some more. I have also been considering creating a new card for The Green Tarot, and after Friday, there are over 120 squares of decorated fabric which I need to photograph and sew together. Not forgetting that I must sort out my invoice and some other paperwork. But what shall I choose to do today? Part of me wants to just sit back. I am in the middle of cooking a roast for my boyfriend and I. Maybe that is enough for today. That's what I think the 4 of Swords is hinting at. Should I not just enjoy the rest?

When I was a kid, I hated Sundays. Aside from accompanying my dad to the paper shop in the morning, no other shops were open. If my dad gave me a couple of quid, I would visit one of the two newsagents, hunting for magazines with my favourite popstars in. The one my dad frequented had all of the new issues, but I equally enjoyed visiting the other, as they kept all of the old ones that I might have missed. If they didn't take me to the garden centre in the afternoon (which had an aquatic centre that I loved), then the rest of the day was pretty dull. I might hang out with friends, but Sundays always felt pretty non-existent. The fact that school was the next day didn't help.

But I love Sunday's now. Today's cards highlight a need to take some down-time. Rather than agonising over what to do, the man sculpted into the tomb in the 4 of Swords lays down and puts his weapons to rest. For today, my boyfriend and I will join him.


Illustrations from The Sharman-Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

The Problematic Friend

The tarot seems to be full of beginnings and ends. Just like life. The World kind of combines both, since after every end is a new beginning, just waiting to start.

My day in the hotel went well. I was the first to get there at 8am, and after introducing myself at the reception, went in search of the cabaret room that we had hired, costing a mere £3,500 for the day. The room was elegantly dressed with fifteen round tables, each seating around eight or so people. At that point, my stomach dropped. I am not used to speaking to that many people and was quite nervous.

I must admit that I didn't enjoy the public speaking very much. I got through it though and was told that I did well by the other practitioners. I guess that it is something that gets easier, the more you do it. The people on the course got on with what I asked them to. Some really went to town, going though the many boxes of fabrics we had sourced, cutting, sticking, and sewing with all of the craft items. The room looked like a bomb site by the end of the afternoon. After we had cleaned it up, me and one of the other practitioners, who I have built up a good relationship with already, met with a creative agent in the hotel coffee shop. She confirmed the 25 days of work, which will start in a different school at the end of February. It will be a job I do alone with one teacher and twenty boys with autism, who are aged between 7 and 9.

I was so tired when I got home. I knew that I would probably end up sleeping, so instead, I suggested that my boyfriend and I go out for a drink. It soon became apparent that a good handful of my friends were also out on the town and we all ended up coming together. The problematic friend I have been speaking about here was also out, since he is leaving to go to the Far East soon. We stayed in the pubs for the evening, and later on, were invited back to a friend's new flat. Everyone was pretty chilled out and we listened to music. However, the problematic friend was .. well, problematic. He began an argument with my boyfriend, and then when I joined them in the kitchen, he began arguing with me. Due to recent situations and a few drinks inside me, I didn't tolerate his self-indulgent nonsense and misguided accusations, and pretty much let him have it. He ended up leaving. When someone confronts him like that, if he can't wheedle out of it with some kind of over-emotional excuse or by blaming someone else, he walks away.

Today was quiet. We have spent it at home, even though my boyfriend popped out to get us something to eat. We are now laying in bed, watching the appalling (and stupid) Dusk to Dawn. The problematic friend (who I don't actually consider as a friend anymore) sent a rude message, so I wrote back with something along the lines of 'Poor old you. Always the victim'. He replied, calling me an idiot. I think that today's cards fall at his feet, since the end of a long relationship is over. I have known him for about twenty years, but have no interest in knowing him anymore. The World completes a cycle. With the over-emotional queen at it's side (which I see as him), I think it also highlights my lack of care for this person anymore.


Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

The Hands of the Victim

Today has been another one of those where the cards made little sense all day, only to click around late afternoon.

As I had decided, I went into the charity shop this morning. Like before, my last window-display had been pretty much trashed by the other volunteers. Don't get me wrong, I don't think this was intentional; I think they just believe that piling it high with just about anything will help sales. Unfortunately, it just makes it look a mess. So I picked out some nice stuff from the rails, re-dressed my mannequins, and pulled the clutter out. People work in the shop for a variety of reasons, so there are more than a handful of characters on the staff team. I still enjoy going there and they are good company. I have found that worth does not always have to be acknowledged in a pay packet.

Late this afternoon, I received a message from a friend; well, from someone I have known for a long time but don't have much to do with and don't see very often. I recently mentioned here that he and a good friend of mine had fallen out, due to the way he had treated her. This afternoon's message was dramatic and seeking of attention, not unlike the majority that he sends. Thinking about today's cards, it was very much part of the 9 of Swords - a card that you might associate with a drama queen.

The thing about the swords in the second card is that they never actually touch the girl, regardless of how threatening they might seem. This is the key to the card, and I think, to today's reading. As insensitive as it might sound, I think that the message from my 'friend' was born from 10% reality and 90% drama.

The other thing about the 9 of Swords, which I hadn't considered before, is that it could have something to do with the fighting of difficult thoughts. The girl in the card could be traumatised by unnessesary worry, which is one traditional interpretation of this card, but I wonder if she is simply caving in under stray thoughts which she cannot control. I wrote back to the friend, but I didn't play into the hands of the victim. My lack of any great support might sound harsh, but people have been pussy-footing around this guy for too long. As another friend pointed out, there are simple solutions to his problems, if he wasn't so pig-headed and could accepted even just a little responsibility for his actions. In the Ace of Cups, I extended as much of an emotional hand as I felt I could under the circumstances.

My boyfriend and I spent tonight at his sisters, so that he could watch football with his brother-in-law. Like usual, I spent my time talking with his sister, rather than watching the screen. It was bad enough that I was missing my beloved Mary Portas, let alone having to rub salt in the wounds by watching the West Ham game instead.



Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

The Twenty-Five Coins

About ten minutes after I posted today's draw, I received a mail about some other work I was being considered for. I don't know much about it yet, but I think that it concerns working with children with autism. My role would be as an art practitioner again. I had written to an old friend about it, since she is organising the project. She got back to me this afternoon and said that she wants to meet up, since she will be able to offer me 25 days work.

This is great news. It might not be straight away, but it will hopefully fill another gap up after the work that I am doing now. Once again, the money is very good.

So I think that this is most certainly what today's cards are focusing on. The woman in the 9 of Pentacles is this friend as well as the other lady mentioned, since she has something to give to me too. With the castle behind her, she holds wealth in the shape of work, which she is counting out into my hand. Each coin represents a day.


Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

In A Position to Give

A friend of mine recently sent me a package from abroad. I haven't received it yet, but when I drew these cards this morning, I could have sworn that they were telling me it would arrive today. I think of her when I see the 9 of Pentacles, for she appreciates being amongst plants, animals, and nature. In these two cards, she oversees a gesture of generosity - the coins which the man is dishing out are actually from her and he is no more than the messenger. 'How do you know this?', you might ask. When I look at these two pictures side by side, I see her to be standing within the grounds of her own castle. In my mind, that same building can be seen on the hill in the second card. In The Sharman Caselli Tarot, the castle symbolises security and personal wealth. The coins balanced on either side of the archway represent equality and a sharing nature. Similarly, I have just finished putting together a package to send to her. I would like to think that the hill in both cards is one and the same, and it is over it that our snail-mail must travel. I guess that my parcel is still on it's way.

I received a message from one of my colleagues from the school project today. She was visiting a recycling centre in South London, which we recently signed up to on behalf of the school. For a yearly fee, you can go on specific days and take whatever you need. For my part of the schedule in the hotel on Friday, I need material. She said that she has filled the boot of her car with different fabrics - some plain and some patterned. Out of the things which businesses and people have donated to the centre, she has also pulled together card and items for crafting in the school. She wrote 'You'd love it here! It is an Aladdin's Cave!'. I wrote back, saying that I would try and get down there at some point before May, so we can have another root about before we do our full week in the school. I visited one near here when I was at art college many years ago. There were boxes and boxes of bits of broken jewellery and nick-knacks. I ended up glue-gunning the bits I took to the cover of a sketchbook, as a homage to the film Alice by Jan Svankmajer.

Today's cards look at a point where we can either give or receive. We all have something which we can give to others; be that the things we own or our attention. The woman in the first card might provide us with her time, wisdom, creativity, or she may very well drop off a few rolls of carpet at her local recycling centre.

My cold is better, but I can't seem to lose my cough. I was up for a good hour with it last night. It's one of those persistent dry tickly ones. However, I did get good news from my doctor's receptionist this morning. I called up about the results of my liver-function test and she said that everything is satisfactory.


Illustrations from The Sharman Caselli Tarot by Giovanni Caselli

Jack of all Trades

Tarot cards are good when they take you to unknown places or periods of new reflection. Just a picture and a little bit of interest can open so many doors. Now believe me, my knowledge and interest in any kind of machinery and working mechanisms is small, but today's first card, the 2 of Earth, took me off on an internet tour through Wikipedia and YouTube, with a desire for finding out just a little about how the crank in Lenonardo Da Vinci's design works. I am by no means an expert now, but watching a few short videos and reading the odd paragraph here and there has fed my understanding of this card. The turning of the two balanced wheels causes the rod in the illustration to move back and forth.

In this card, I think that the back and forth motion is what is important. It illustrates the polarity of the number two; a bit like a child's seesaw, where weight is distributed from one side to the other. In today's draw, this is related to the second card, the 8 of Earth.

The 8 of Earth shows many people working. If a little clearer, I was thinking how nice the image from this card would be as a continuous all over print on clothing. Men can be seen carrying things, pulling, and digging. Lenonardo enjoyed exploring the human form by watching men at work. For me, this card portrays the jobs I have to do this week. When combined with the first card, it displays the need to juggle each and work on different things at different times. You might see me as having to be a Jack of all trades as I move from cutting fabric to hopefully working in the charity shop; and then moving from there to facilitating the day in the school on Friday. For this week, I will need to be flexible within work.

Saturday night was good. Neither my boyfriend or I went anywhere near over the top and were in bed at a respectable time. The party was more of a select gathering and I liked every single person who was there. I had just a few drinks and some good conversations. By the end of the night, it was just me, my boyfriend, his mother, sister, and two of her friends, all relaxed around the sofa, chatting. laughing, and telling stories from our pasts. By then, the kids were all in bed. We gave my boyfriend's niece her pink ukulele, which she seemed very happy with.

I am feeling better but am still coughing and feel tired. I was considering going into the charity shop today but decided I'll go when my cold is nearly gone. Instead, it is a day of preparation for Friday. I need to get all of the new fabric I bought at the weekend ready and cut out 120 20cm x 20cm squares for the people in my session to work on. This means putting other things, like the Instant Oracle I started cutting, gluing and laminating last night, off until another day. This is the nature of today's cards. It's about shifting jobs around to suit and putting things on the backburner, as dictated by time and schedule.


Illustrations from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci, assembled by Caitlan Matthews

Two 'Eights' and One Ukulele

When I was out yesterday, I was looking for books to use for my friend's copy of the Instant Oracle that I am making, and happened upon a children's story book, illustrated by David Palladini (the creator of both The Aquarian and New Pallandini tarots). It is always a treat to find things like this, so I bought it. I read the story, entitled The Prince in the Golden Tower by Florence Karpin, in bed last night and it inspired me to use The New Palladini for my draw today. Many people prefer his early work, The Aquarian, to this deck. I used to own it but traded it away, as the cards were a little vague and I found the pencil-drawn faces a little creepy. I sometimes wonder if that was a silly move, as I do like the over-all style. I remember the cards appearing much brighter in the hand than they are in online scans. I also really liked the jazzy blue backs.

Today's cards are both 'eights'. This feels important. As if their message is intensified. The Eight of Pentacles looks at new skills and the perfecting of them. I have under a week before I facilitate the day in the hotel for 120 teaching staff. At the moment, there is still a lot to organise and I am a little nervous about standing up in front of them all. In some areas, I am out of my comfort zone. This is where I think the first card comes in. The Eight of Rods (or wands) brings about speed. The clock is ticking away, and I need to knuckle down and do some of the preparation. The cards could also predict a new job or line of work.

It is nice to finally have my boyfriend here. I am still half-full of cold, but we have to shop for a toy guitar for his niece's birthday party today. I have seen brightly coloured ukuleles in a music shop in town, so we are going to see if they are not too expensive. I'd rather get her a real tuned instrument that she can keep than a toy that has a shorter shelf-life. My parents bought me a ukulele when I was a kid, so maybe that is where my interest stems from. As an off-the-cuff observation, you might see the eight rods in the first card as ukulele strings, providing a new skill for his 3 year old niece to learn. Her party will eventually turn into a surprise birthday gathering for her father afterwards. For me, it will be pretty sedate.


Illustrations from The New Palladini Tarot by David Palladini
Background illustration from The Prince in the Golden Tower by David Palladini

The Charity Shop Rampage

I like today's cards. The Queen of Pentacles sits in her dress of stars with a pentacle relaxed on her lap. She looks comfortable and at ease. On her left, The Hermit walks towards her, lighting her space with his lantern. Looking at them like this, I would say that he is highlighting something in her that I need to pay attention to; something that is probably also within me, knowing him. As this queen protects both her body and her money (as symbolised by the pentacle she is nurturing), I'd guess that these two cards advise my looking after the physical aspects of my life. That would mean holding on to my money and not jeopardising my health by trying to bounce back too quickly from my cold. This is the hermit's suggestion for moving forward wisely.

If you didn't already know, the queen in today's card is none other than the deck's creator, Bea Nettles. I may be wrong, but I am sure that this was the very first photograph that she took for the Mountain Dream. With the meaning of the card in mind, it is interesting that she has used herself as the model for it, because she needed to be both practical and resourceful in undertaking the project. She used people that she knows as subjects, and as can be seen from the pictures themselves, found and made the props in the cards from the things around her. Very Queen of Pentacles.

My mum often comes up as the Queen of Pentacles. She is also a practical lady, who has never over-spent on things she doesn't need and has made good use of the things she has. Our home has always been warm and inviting and she has always looked her best, regardless of how much things cost. This comes down to taste and a bit of class, I'd say, and I think it is her qualities that The Hermit shines his light on today. I went out with my parents this morning, since I needed to try and find some materials for next week. Dressed up in my long scarf and armed with no more than a box of tissues, I invaded charity shops, looking for good deals on linen and other things which might be worthy of crafting. Some of the shops had marked their goods far too high, so those were disregarded; but with the business acumen of the Queen of Pentacles, I sought out some good deals in other places. Some people think that this queen is a lover of money and possession, but I don't see her like that. I think that she certainly likes the nicer and more comfortable side of life, but the watery side of her make-up is passive, leading her to be cautious with her finances and only buy what she can afford. Her husband, on the other hand, is a completely different story.

I'd say I am feeling a little better, but my eyes still ache and I haven't stopped sneezing or coughing all day. I haven't seen my boyfriend for over five days, but he will be here soon. I rested when I returned from my charity shop rampage, so as not to push myself too far. We are going to a surprise birthday party tomorrow. Like the rest of this week, I cancelled a social engagement today, but with a quiet night ahead of me, I should be able to do tomorrow. The Queen of Pentacles and The Hermit remind me to take care of myself.


Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles

Taking Responsibility

Most of the people who visit a tarot reader are fearful of at least one card. Usually it is Death. This is often the only card they have ever heard of and cannot usually name the other 77. I was quite amazed to read once that some readers actually take that card out, as not to frighten their clients or tint their performance with any negativity. Some designers, such as Eileen Connolly and John Hammond, have literally swept the skeleton under the carpet, and turned death into transformation in their tarot packs.

As readers, most of us have cards we don't enjoy seeing either. Death doesn't really bother me. With the swipe of a scythe, an end to my unemployment and recent health problems would be greatly received. For me, Justice always gives me the willies. Probably because she speaks of responsibility around previous actions. And this is something many of us are not so quick to step up to.

However, as you may read elsewhere, cards often speak loudest when they are fused with one another. Today is such a case. When Justice teams up with the 6 of Wands, it is a different story. The man in the second card has grabbed hold of that rally-baton we identified a couple of days ago in the ace and is racing towards the finishing line. Even the hard-edged Lady Justice appears to be holding her arms up with encouragement and excitement. She appears softer with the 6 of Wands. She might be telling us that success is justified.

I didn't sleep well last night. I had a blocked up nose and coughed throughout. I know that I didn't drop off until after 3am. While laying in bed, I switched the computer back on to search for a photograph. Using the Mountain Dream Tarot had reminded me of a picture I had downloaded years ago. I had always assumed that it had come from the deck, but when I received it, was disappointed to find that it wasn't part of the 78. I ended up going through two really old memory sticks this morning to see if I could find it. I wasn't sure that it would be on them, but the haunting memory of the picture spurred me on and I eventually found it sandwiched between old snaps of friends and snippets of rubbish I thought would one day prove useful. I then searched under the image title and found some information online that cleared up the mystery.

I was quite right in thinking that the photograph is by Bea Nettles. But even though it is a tarot image (showing the 7 of Pentacles), it is not from The Mountain Dream Tarot or any other complete deck. It is actually from a series of photographs commissioned in 1990, based on the tarot deck in general. They were all shot in Italy and can still be bought as a 24 page book called 'The Knights of Assisi: A Journey Through the Tarot'. In the photographs, Nettles focuses on only the knights of the tarot court, compiling a series of images, with models sometimes dressed in period clothing, but also contemporary fashion. I can see why I thought that this image was part of the Mountain Dream. How ever many times I look at it, it still harbours some of that initial mystery and timelessness from Bea Nettle's first tarot creations of the 1970s.

I went to see the nurse this morning so that she could repeat the blood test which failed a fortnight ago. This was possibly due to the infection I had at the time, but they wanted to be sure. It seems that the retest concerns my liver. Is this where Justice finds her place today? Even though moderate now, could my partying lifestyle of the last twenty years finally have caught up with me?



Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

Making Friends with the Page of Cups

After this morning's post, I am still laid up on my bed. Like the guy in the 4 of Swords, I took to my bed for what was about two or so hours and just slept. I don't feel much different for it. I have so many things I would like to do. I need to start putting together the second Instant Oracle for my friend. I have fabric for a skirt that I need to lay and sort the pattern out for. My patchwork throw could do with a few more lines added to it. And I also need to work on my handouts for the training day next week. All of this, and I have had the urge to start my next card for The Green Tarot. However, my head feels as though it has a bowling ball inside of it and I dare not stray too far from my box of tissues, so any job which is close to my bed wins the race. Therefore, after my time with the Page of Wands this morning, I thought I might look at the Page of Cups. I have not warmed to the Page of Cups in this deck and I thought that this might be a way of learning to appreciate him.

I am not one of those people who needs 'hotties' in their decks. I've read posts on forums in the past where people have requested recommendations for decks with good-looking guys or gals in them. On one hand, people want characters which are ordinary and that they can relate to. On the other, they moan if there are no devilishly handsome knights or kings to dribble over and run their fingers across. The Mountain Dream Tarot does have a sprinkling of what one might call a hotty in it's illustrations. Especially in the four pages. Even though this deck was created almost forty years ago, three of the pages could easily have been photographed just last week, since the Page of Wands, Page of Pentacles, and Page of Swords have haircuts and outfits that wouldn't look the slightest bit out of place in my local pub. Time and fashion has come full circle with these guys. The Page of Cups, on the other hand, does not look hip or up to date. I am not even entirely sure that he is male, since there is a very feminine look to the face and the figure has distinct curves. I wonder how plausible this is though, since the three other pages are definitely guys and there is no other gender-switching in the remainder of the courts. Bea Nettles doesn't include any information with her deck. Absolutely nothing. Short of writing to her and asking about this person, I am left on my own with this crowd to make friends with them as I will. Interestingly, I almost like the Page of Cups more if I think of him as a her.

One of the first Page of Cups I remember is the one from the Universal Waite. He is dashing, quirky, and charming. He is the kind of guy you want to take you places, and when I tried my hand at entering a card through meditation all of those years ago, it was he that I subconsciously met up with. If someone mentions the Page of Cups, despite the amount of decks I have bought over the years, his is the first face that comes to mind. I liked him so much that I mounted a large picture of him inside an old tarot box I used to use. He was my guide to the landscapes of the Rider Waite for a long time, so when I am confronted with this figure in the Mountain Dream, I am a little bit disappointed I suppose. He just doesn't have the same charisma as my beloved tour guide. At the risk of sounding like the shallow 'hotty-seekers', my personal page from The Universal Waite has the face of an angel .. and the thighs of a man.

When I look at this Page of Cups, one of the first things that I notice is his silhouette. His clothes drape and flow, and his pants are voluminous. It's as if he is full of water, which I guess he is. Water symbolises emotion, which runs through the veins of this tarot character and his suit. Maybe this is what makes him appear so feminine here. Unlike the same page from many other decks I have seen, this one looks at his cup. The cup also represents emotion and the fish within it stands for intuition and psychic guidance. I kind of prefer how this one's stare is locked into these symbols, rather than connecting with his external surroundings. The Page of Cups is a dreamer and finds it hard to exist in the real world, so it would make sense for him to opt out in this way.

There is something very childlike about this page. Where as the others appear more direct, energetic, and in hot pursuit of promotion in their court, you could say that this one is away with the faeries. He kind of reminds me of myself at a young age. When other kids were developing, growing up, and dating, I was still having silly crushes on popstars, finding it hard to differentiate from them and real people. When my interests developed away from the pages of teenage magazines, it was still grounded in no more than fantasy. I would drown in my feelings, write poems of love that nobody else would ever see, and in those days, pour my heart into a journal (something I never dreamed I'd end up doing as publicly as I do now). The Page of Cups throws himself into the deep end of the emotional pool, not yet able to swim competently. While the other pages are out there doing it, he will only dream about doing so, because his expectations are rarely met in reality.

I have only scratched the surface of this young man, but I am glad that I have introduced myself to the card. I was kind of dreading him coming up in a reading or daily draw, but I think I am better equipped to deal with him now; if only because I have found some space where I can relate to him.

There is something so timeless about the Mountain Dream Tarot. Possibly because time has little place in dreams, I guess. When I look at the Page of Swords and the Page of Wands, I find it hard to believe that these two guys, who are brimming with testosterone and strength, are quite possibly in their fifties now, and in relality, are probably pages no longer.




Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

Curling up on the sofa with the guy from the 4 of Swords

A young blonde man holds up the branch of a tree. He is energetic, enthusiastic, and determined. Look at his grip. His tanned arms are strong and he means business. He offers his wand to the guy on the sofa, but the sleeping figure is not interested; his head is turned away and in shadow. If the Page of Wands is proposing a game or play-fight, then the dozing guy in the second card will be turning it down. His weapon is very clearly laid beneath his make-shift bed.

As I mentioned before, I have never really been a fan of photographic decks, but this one is different. This Page of Wands is one of my favourite cards in this pack. Aside from the Page of Cups, which I think is one of the only photographs from The Mountain Dream Tarot that I really don't like, all of the pages are full of energy and stand proud in their frames. Look at how intense this one is. If you don't give him something to do, he will be off, probably finding some mischief to get himself into or a challenge to jump at. He's a bit of a restless soul, and at such a young age, he is most likely impressionable. The trees around him are strong and healthy. It is their vibrancy that he looks up to.

In contrast, the 4 of Swords is set in darkness. This guy looks as though he was the last one to crash at a party. For whatever reason he has flopped out on the sofa, his body and mind need the rest. I think that the three swords above him are important. Don't forget that I received the 3 of Swords yesterday. They provide an echo of stress or difficulty, which may be what has worn this poor bloke out. For the moment, he'll not be joining the Page of Wands on his adventure.

I didn't wake up at a ridiculous hour this morning. I slept right through like a baby. But it didn't make me feel much better. My face aches, I am coughing and sneezing, and generally, I feel tired and bunged up. I was meant to be having coffee with two friends this morning but cancelled it. One of them still popped in as I needed some direction on some graphics I am doing for her, but I didn't accompany her to the house of the other. I usually go to my boyfriend's on a Wednesday, but I have told him that I will give that a miss too. There is no fun in feeling unwell at someone else's house. I haven't seen him since Sunday morning, so hopefully, we'll both be well enough to catch up tomorrow.

From looking at these images, I do get a few feelings. There is an impatience about the Page of Wands. The page cards are sometimes linked to messages, and when I look at the way this young blonde guy is holding the stick, I am reminded of someone ringing a bell. He can ring as much as he likes, because I doubt he'll be able to wake old sleeping beauty. This makes me think of some of my friends, their insistence to do stuff with me, and a handful of penciled in arrangements that I think I will no longer be able to make in February, due to my financial situation.

So for today, I curl up on the battered old sofa with the bloke in the 4 of Swords. With the door shut, a cup of tea, and some Nag Champa incense burning, we can hardly hear the world outside or the energetic Page of Wand's persistent ringing.




Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

A Nice Cup of Char

The message from today's duo feels pretty clear. It concern some kind of dispute or a situation which has torn two opposing sides apart. In Temperance, the two sides are represented by the angel's twin cups, where liquid is poured back and forth between them. Their contents mix together and find a happy-medium. In short, the second card heals and rectifies the pain indicated by the massacre in the first card, the 3 of Swords.

These cards did make me think of someone who I have not spoken to in a while. Let's just say that he had rattled my cage and pressed a few of my buttons. I received a message from this person after a long time of no communication. I had pretty much cut contact and ignored him for nearly a year. Whether right or wrong, that is the way I sometimes deal with things. However, feeling that I have probably made my point now, I responded to his message last night, warming the coldness between us. The angel in the second card looks aloof. Her expression reminds this man not to cross her again, for she mightn't be so forgiving a second time.

I am awake at 4.30am. My sore throat has manifested into achy eyes, a blocked up nose, sneezing, and a headache. I went scouraging downstairs for flu remedies, but couldn't find any. Not being able to sleep, I have settled on a cup of tea. Why is it that a cup of tea eases so many situations? If a cuppa was a tarot card, I guess that it would probably be Temperance, since it pacifies so many dilemmas and has taken the edge off of my cold.

I can remember so many instances in my life where a cup of tea was the mediator between myself and others. Regardless of the many times that my dad got up in the middle of the night to make me a hot drink when I wasn't feeling well as a kid, I remember him asking me to put the kettle on at about 1am, after I had come out to him and my mother earlier that evening. I must have been about 23. During an argument, I had blurted out that I was gay in haste before going to a party, and when I returned, it was the three mugs of tea that we drank in their bedroom that helped me explain and them accept the news. Like Temperance, the warming cups of char softened the blow and helped us all to relax.




Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

End of the Slumber Party?

I decided to pull a few cards before bed. Not for any particular reason. I thought I would let them do the talking and find their subject. I drew Judgement and the Ace of Wands. I think that these cards speak about work and new developments.

The child in the first card stretches his arms. Of course, this card is depicting The Last Judgement, where the dead rise at the sound of Arch Angel Gabriel's horn, but here, I see the child waking from sleep. He flexes and stretches the small muscles in his arms. You might believe that he has been asleep for some time. That's not far off how I feel.

From the belly of this card, I am offered a branch. It reminds me of the batons we are handed in a relay race, as we endeavour to run our own lap. It has small shoots growing on it, representing new life.

Having the Ace of Wands in this duo makes me feel confident. It helps me to believe that after a time of great slumber, a new phase is beginning. A new shoot. A new race to run. I am hoping that this has everything to do with the school work I am doing and the other project I might be offered soon. As well as this, it could symbolise a boost of energy or condidence after my long bout of fatigue.




Illustrations from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

Hiding behind Hood and Hair

The Hermit continues to seek me out in readings. He is the lone wanderer of the tarot deck, and as I have already said here before, spending time alone (or at least away from the complications of company) has been something I have really needed of late. I see this continuing as time moves forward. Especially with there being a dip in cash-flow. Having said this, like dominoes falling one after another, more invitations and arrangements began to raise their heads over the weekend. Some will be difficult to escape from, but I will not have enough money to take on all of them. To be honest, wanting t0 hide within the hermit's dark coat at the moment, I am pretty pleased about that.

After worrying about having no income for a couple of months, I am hoping that there might be a new plan manifesting on the horizon. After a tip-off from one of the people yesterday, I contacted an old friend, who I was told is starting a different project not too far away. She got back to me very quickly and said that she would be happy to give me twenty days work from it, should she be able to. Even though travelling to the school might not be the easiest of tasks, I am willing to give it a go, so that I can earn more good money and can raise my profile some more. She said she will get back to me in due course, since the details for the project have yet to be agreed. However, the thought of having some dates to work in February and the following months is a comfort.

Today's card is from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles and I really like him. Unlike many other hermits I have worked with, we can not see very much of this one. His face is covered by hood and hair and his cloak becomes that dark place which he retreats inside of. I am not usually a fan of photographic decks, but I do like this one. I have read that it was the first tarot to use photography. Even though it was first published in 1975, I have a re-issued pack that my parents bought me for Christmas a year ago. I had seen the odd sample of it over a period of ten years and finally bit the bullet. I love the images from the 1970s; the decade which I was born in. Unlike a lot of the photographic decks that are published these days, it has a modest feel to it. It was made around the people and props which could be found locally by the artist, which makes it a pretty earthy set in my opinion. The images are tinted in different colours. As an example, this one has a purple tinge to it. Despite this, I have made them black and white for the purpose of this blog.

My boyfriend didn't go into work today as he wasn't feeling well. We have communicated a little throughout the day, but I won't see him tonight. I have a graphic job to do for a friend, so I will concentrate on that. I have also felt tired today and my voice is wavering.

I may go into the charity shop tomorrow, but I am not sure. My parents walked past it yesterday to look at my new window display, but said that once again, it has been laden with junk and someone has put big jigsaw puzzles all along the window sill. The manageress says they are not supposed to do that, but they continue to. Nobody is selective about what they display and will put any old rubbish out. It means that the customer's eye can not really see what it is looking at. I find that when a display is more sparing and has a theme, the consumer can translate what the shop is trying to sell that bit better. At the moment, you'd imagine that the charity shop is selling little more than junk. It annoys me, because while the other guys on community service stood around drinking coffee and exercising their thumbs on their mobile phones, it took a lot of time and energy for me to re-dress all of those mannequins and re-do the window by myself. I was really tired afterwards, and now, it needs to be done all over again.




Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

Catching Bubbles

In today's card is a young faerie. It would appear as though she has literally jumped onto the leaf where she stands, with the intention of catching the two bubbles that she now holds. As adults, we might think that her aim to catch bubbles is naive. Have you ever seen anyone hold a bubble in the way that she is? But the point of her doing so in this card is to show the limitations we put on ourselves when we grow older and become wiser. Children are not limited by what can and can't be done because they believe that anything is achievable. Today is about forgetting what we think we know and going out with the intention of catching a bubble or two.

After feeling downhearted about the shift of dates at the school, I met my three fellow practitioners for a meeting at midday. I organised for them to drive to a nice pub just off of the motorway, which was perfect for what we wanted. We were given a table out of the way of everyone else and spent four hours there, planning our first day - the one at the hotel, which is still going ahead this month. After showing them a photo of my recent and ongoing sewing project, I came up with the idea of the 120 teachers all creating one square each for an extra large patchwork quilt. The other practitioners really liked the idea, so that will be the largest section of the day, which I will present and facilitate.

I explained my disappointment around the dates and the three of them were very supportive. They gave advice, said they'd keep an eye out for more work for me, and to my surprise, also paid for my dinner and drinks in the pub. I told them that they didn't need to do that, but they wouldn't let me pay a penny, saying that they had been where I am at the moment and understood how difficult it can be. I was touched by their kindness and really enjoyed their company. One of them also drove me home.

The Fool was very important for the success of today's meeting . I had to loosen up so that I could appreciate the other people's ideas. I have been on days like we are organising before, and personally, games without any real reasoning behind them have always seemed a bit pointless and silly to me. I will never forget sitting in a wardrobe with a woman who used to be a prime-time TV presenter, being asked to sing The Sound of Music to a group of people I had never met before. I declined the offer out of simple embarrassment. To appreciate some of the activities on our schedule for the 28th, I needed to try and locate the more open and playful side of myself. With four hours of discussion, we did manage to choose games which did make sense for the brief and which could be filtered into the week we will spent with the kids in May.

After getting home from the meeting, I rested here. My boyfriend had driven me there at lunchtime and then returned to his house afterwards, so we haven't seen each other this evening. Feeling a little tired today, being alone gave me the opportunity to simply be and relax.

Illustration from The Mystic Faerie Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft
Card Background from Spooky Corner Designs by Moondaughter

Happy Birthday to Me

The first word that comes to mind when I see this card is 'accident'. A young man loses his footing and falls backwards into a hole. I would guess that it covers a multitude of accidents, not all as serious as the one shown in the illustration.

Last night was fine. I didn't push the boundaries and the evening was pretty chilled out. However, before I got there, I did argue with my dad and had to contend with a few other problems, which sent me off of course. As someone who speaks a lot about confrontation and development here, I must admit that I am not very good at change or dealing with obstacles. There was a point, just before we left for the party, where several people were talking at once and it all began to sound like noise to me. Too much was going on and I felt a need to return to my shell.

One of yesterday afternoon's problems concerns the project at the school. The senior members there have decided to put the work back a couple of months. It suits everyone else, but now that I have quit benefit, I have nothing else to tide me over until that time. In my mind, everything was fitting into place quite nicely before this turnaround. With things planned for both my and my boyfriend's birthdays in March, I would have had enough money to participate and also get him a decent present. Now, there is a whacking great big gap where I will receive nothing. A bit like that big hole that the guy is falling into in the picture. I don't think it will be possible to reverse the decisions I have made. I think I will simply have to do next to nothing during that time, as to not spend money, unless I can find any other work. The good thing about the project happening when it initially was, is that it would have eased me back into work slowly, since I have been feeling pretty tired.

On a lighter note, I have been writing this blog for a year today. And I have to say that I still enjoy doing so as much as I did then. If not more. I have tried to keep blogs before but they never made it passed a few months. I would end up wiping them away for one reason or another and starting again. But this time, I have persevered. I love to write. Anyone who enjoys creative writing would really benefit from doing something like this. Especially if they see a complete work as an ordeal, overwhelming, or a drain on time. Blogging allows you to create something big through bite size entries.

When I started writing here, I never really expected anyone other than a few friends to read my posts, but over the last year, I have received some really thoughtful mails and comments. I am often surprised that people take five minutes out of their own lives to come and read about what is not going on in mine. Let's face it, despite my optimism, things haven't really gone as I would have wanted them to in the last year; be it the problems with my health, employment, or the fact that our house never sold. Let's hope that the next year rights all of those difficulties and I have some happier stories to share.

When I awoke this morning, I went downstairs to find my boyfriend's sister and her husband sitting on the new furniture. It must have been delivered while I was asleep. My boyfriend's father had gone out to collect the new fireplace, so I sat and chatted with them for a bit. While talking, we noticed what looked like a mark on the new flooring. Could this be the accident shown in today's card? Even though it had nothing to do with us, like three little kids, we all dispersed and left the scene of the crime as quickly as possible, before either of my boyfriend's parents returned.

Illustration from The Instant Oracle, compiled by Prince Le Normand

Follow My Leader .. or Not

I slept right through last night. Usually, I find it hard to close my mind down, end up staying reading until late, and then will be up and down throughout the night, but I was so tired that I almost fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. My only disturbance was a phone call on my mobile at around 1am. It was from a friend who I don't see very often. He's a bit like a plug which hasn't been wired up correctly. He flies off of the handle quite often, can be bitter and verbally aggressive, and never takes responsibility for his part in the many, many disputes that he has with people. Instead, he chooses to play the victim and rant about how unfairly he has been treated. From experience, I'd say that people have actually given him more slack than he deserves. I guessed that this late night call, probably fueled by alcohol, was one of his usual misguided tirades, so I ignored it and let it ring off.

Even though still tired, I got up early to go to my friend's house for coffee and a chat. I haven't seen her since before Christmas. It turned out that she had received some nasty messages from this mutual 'friend', so it was quite possibly her that his one-sided rant was aimed at. All of this after she had spent near to a week of her time helping him with and doing some of his work for a course he needed to pass to take him abroad. The last time I saw him, on Christmas Eve, I told him that I thought he had already treated her unfairly, but of course, he couldn't see it.

I only stayed at my friend's for a couple of hours. Afterwards, I went for a short outing in the car with my parents. I bought some more books for my second Instant Oracle and some laminating pouches to finish them with. Due to what will be a busy weekend, I won't be able to start working on that until next week.

I have an hour before the show gets on the road. I am going to my boyfriend's brother's house tonight. It is his birthday, so the family and a few friends have been invited round for a few drinks. We are spending the rest of the weekend at my boyfriend's. He is helping his father take delivery of their new furniture in the morning and then we are going to his sister's, so that my boyfriend can watch the football with his brother-in-law. I will make sure that I pack a book to get me through the latter part of the itinerary. On Sunday, I am meeting the practitioners from the school project to discuss how we more forward with our arrangements.

I have not drank alcohol since last year. The same goes for cigarettes, which I have not had prior to the New Year. Even though it was only ever one here and one there, I have been completely 'smoke-free' for fourteen days now. When I saw today's card, I saw the instrument in the boy's mouth as a cigarette. I will take some drink with me tonight, but only a small amount. Enough to relax in company. I am just hoping I don't get the cravings for a smoke. After being unwell over Christmas, I am a little apprehensive about unbalancing my stomach, so today's card is about either being a leader and exercising control or it concerns being a sheep and following what those around me do. In a different kind of reading, you could view it as peer group pressure.

My tiredness worked into today and I slept away a good few hours this afternoon. I could take on some more, to be honest. In receipt of my P45 today, I am slightly worried that I have struck out too soon, regarding leaving the support I was getting from the Job Centre. Deep down, I know that I am probably doing the best thing for me, but due to feeling so shattered for the last couple of days, I am scared that my fatigue is coming back to get me once again.

Illustration from The Instant Oracle, compiled by Prince Le Normand

Head in the Clouds

A man, probably a giant, walks through the sky with his head in the clouds. The expression Head in the Clouds usually describes a daydreamer; someone who is distracted from the here and now, and isn't participating in the real world.

For today, this card represents my ducking out of the physical realm and finding sleep amongst the soft pillows of my bed. Even though I have been feeling better over recent months, I think that I might have overdone it this week. I spent the day at the school on Monday, worked in the charity shop and saw friends yesterday, and this morning, I got two trains home from my boyfriend's, as I do every Thursday. I felt exhausted after my walk home from the train station. This was probably not helped by my fighting sleep to stay awake last night, so that I could watch a documentary. It was one of those times where you catch something on the television by accident and can't bring yourself to cut it short. It was called Teenage Paparazzo, a documentary by an actor I have never heard of, called Adrian Grenier. It was a well thought-out dip into the world of the paparazzi, through the eyes of both Grenier and a 13 year old photographer he met by a chance encounter. Halfway into the documentary, Grenier seemed intent on finding out why society has such an unhealthy interest in celebrity and other people's lives. This is something I cannot relate to either. With really thoughful interviews with people like Paris Hilton, Whoopi Goldberg, and Rosie O'Donnell, the film made very interesting viewing, so I sat it out until the early hours, watching it while my boyfriend slept.

Today's card is more of an avoidance of routine than anything else, since I have fallen in and out of sleep all day. I do have a sore throat and cough, so I wonder if my busy couple of days have just bitten into the beginning of a cold. My boyfriend will be over in a bit, so I need to get my head out of the fluffiness of the clouds and get myself ship-shape.

Illustration from The Instant Oracle, compiled by Prince Le Normand

The Dance of the Dead

I titled today's card 'Ghosts of the Past'. Two female spirits walk through a landscape, as if through time, reminding us of what once was.

A building cuts through the hills. I am not sure what it is, but it reminds me of a church with a high steeple. This church might be a metaphor for the last time we saw someone or experienced something. Even though it is a symbol of laying something or someone to rest, the dead are now back and dancing through the greenery of the garden, providing memories or blasts from the past.

Living in a small town can sometimes be strange, because even though the past is very much in the past, it's inhabitants still rise again from time to time. It can make moving forward and changing a little difficult when you are knee deep in the debris of so many years passed. Only today, I was served coffee in a cafe by someone I once woke up next to after a night out. We didn't acknowledge one another, despite the fact that we'd kissed a few moons ago. Like a ghost from the past, the young man glided through the scenery of my day, carrying a cappuccino.

I went into the charity shop this morning. I hadn't really wanted to get out of bed, but I forced myself to, and had quite a nice time once I was there. The people are all very friendly and thankful for the time I give to the place. I busied myself with the window again and went for the 'less is more' philosophy. While I had been away, the other volunteers had filled it up with so much stuff, that it looked as though someone had emptied a bin-bag of rubbish in it. I got rid of the novelty costumes and re-dressed the mannequins. I gave them a youthful and funky vibe, throwing some tight jeans, a large low-slung belt, and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt on my female dummy.

After work, I met two friends for coffee. It was the first time that I've met with mates since Christmas and it was good. We looked around a few charity shops and a really nice vintage store. I picked up some more books for the Instant Oracle. I think that this is something which will continue to grow. There is a world of great old books in secondhand shops waiting to be found. I am at my boyfriend's this evening, but before I got my lift over here, I managed to get through the books and cut some new images out. I placed them in two piles. In one, I chose styles which might fit well with my existing pack, and in the other, I will be making up a new and totally original second deck. When I feel the second Instant Oracle is complete and I finally have some money to laminate and post it, it will become a gift for a good friend.

Illustrations from The Instant Oracle, compiled by Prince Le Normand

The Instant Oracle

I can't tell you how many times I have tried to design and create my own deck. I am currently working on The Green Tarot. It will eventually be a 78 card deck based around everyday people and the natural landscapes of the British Isles. Each card will carry symbolism through it's plants, flowers, trees, and animals. I have enjoyed what I have done so far with this project, but it sits on the back burner for the moment. I know that it should take time and I don't want to rush it. Often, projects begin quickly and then slow down as I progress and get more involved with them. I know that I will get back to it eventually, but for now, I wanted to do something else which I could follow through with some speed. So this evening, I put together The Instant Oracle.

I had wanted to do some collage, so for a while, I have been buying second hand children's books cheaply and keeping them safe on my shelf. Most that I buy are particularly old as I like the style of illustrating that I remember from being a child. I guess that it is comforting. Amongst the stack that I brought into my room this evening were books on dragons, ogres and wicked witches; zoo animals, and the story of the pied piper. After looking through the books for some time, I realised that many of the pictures were nice as they already were and had great personal meaning for me already, so rather than cut them up, I decided to paste sections of some of the illustrations straight onto cards and use them as an oracle. I have about four packs of jumbo playing cards which I had not opened, so I used them to stick the images onto.

The deck will evolve, but for now, I have 33 new cards. There names are not set in stone, but I do have ideas around their core meanings. For example, one card shows two swans swimming together in front of a grand house, which I have titled 'Partnership'. Another shows a herd of cattle trudging through the snow. This card looks at struggle and difficulties.

I have decided to bring the deck to the blog for a bit. I have really enjoyed working with The Fenestra Tarot and still will, but I am excited about using The Instant Oracle at the moment. It is fluid and raw, which is just how I like my decks to be.

Tenterhooks

Even though many readers look at the Wheel of Fortune as a key of luck, today's card always seems to comes up to predict a lack control for me. The wheel turns which way it wants, sprinkling favours at the feet of some and obstacles in the way of others. When I think of the card, it is more like a wheel of chance or twist of fate, for you might say that it's influence takes responsibility out of our hands. Since I was told to call the doctor about my results today, the card put me on tenterhooks this morning. However, the receptionist ended up calling me before I had a chance to pick up the phone. One set of results was satisfactory, but I need to repeat the others on the 20th, since there was some kind of abnormality in my blood. Even though the doctor said that this is probably due to the infection that I had, it still worries me. The wheel turns and I have no control over where it stops. In today's mail, Yehuda Berg of The Kabbalah Centre said "You never know how much time you have in this lifetime. Make sure you live every day as if it were your last. Today, act. There’s no time to waste". I could have done without that this morning. I am a terrible worrier. Thanks Yehuda.

I haven't really treated today as if it was my last. I was meant to go into the charity shop today and was quite looking forward to it, but I have had a headache since the night, so decided to put off going in until tomorrow. Haven't really felt like doing much else. After not seeing some of my friends for nearly or over a month, I was meant to meet one for coffee after work, but that will have to wait now too. In the spirit of this card, there is not much I can do about it. I can only rest my eyes and hope the headache clears up for tomorrow.

Detail from The Fenestra Tarot by Chatriya Hemharnvibul

He's Got the Whole World in his Hands

"Your gifts are yours so that you can share them with others. That’s why the highest fulfillment you can find is achieving for others. Today, give time and effort to others, and let your gifts shine" - Yehuda Berg, The Kabbalah Centre

I'd say that the guy in today's illustration is me. I have never really got this card, but on a day like today, it makes some sense and I am finally able to penetrate it's meaning with a little experience. In his right palm, the man holds a globe of some kind. His other hand firmly grips a wand. This suggests to me that things are within his grasp. He displays foresight and has the whole of his world literally in his hands. He stands and looks out to sea. Is he embarking on a journey of some kind? As the water meets the land and the land meets the water, ideas and thoughts make it on to paper and become grounded in reality.

I was a little nervous about starting my new job today, but once I got there, it all went very nicely. The school I will be working in is built around the needs of people with a multiple of disabilities, who's ages begin around 4 and go right up to 19. Because the project will include the whole school, I guess that I will interact with all of the twenty classes at some point over the next three months. We were given a tour around the building, where we met with some of the students, but essentially, today was just one big meeting, where I met with the Head Mistress and one of the lead teachers. I will be working with three other practitioners on the job. I know one of them already, since it was her who recommended me for the work, but the other two were nice as well. Both older than me, one is a film-maker and the other is involved in drama and dance.

I knew that I would be assisting with the running of a specific week, which will take place in March, but I did not know that I would need to plan and facilitate a training and bonding day for 166 teachers at the end of this month. Well, the four of us will do this, but it is still a daunting task. A hotel's cabaret hall has already been booked for the occasion, as has the catering, and it is now up to the four of us to decide on how the day will be structured and what people will end up having to do. We came up with a few ideas for group activities as we sat around the table this afternoon, but we will need to fit in two more days of planning before the event to sort out the bulk of the arrangements. As much as I don't think it will be a great problem over all, I am a little nervous about standing up and presenting to 166 adults. I have taught classes of teenage boys before, which was a little scary initially, but this is something else. The man in the 2 of Wands pedicts the undertaking of this task and represents the ideas and thoughts I brought to the process today. As usual, I did a lot of talking once I had warmed up. I link this to Yehuda's mail that I received this morning. I would hope that my ideas and opinions are gifts to be shared.

As much as the idea of working on this project is a little intimidating, it is also exciting. I went through a bout of fatigue yesterday and was worried about how I would feel today. Discussing the forthcoming work was good for me and strengthened my confidence. This in turn boosted my energy. On top of that, I earned some much-needed money. I am a little tired now, but can nap for an hour without feeling guilty.

Detail from The Fenestra Tarot by Chatriya Hemharnvibul