The Calling of the Sea

It is eerily quiet outside at the moment and has been for over an hour. A while back, we heard some noise on the main road behind our garden but didn't think anything of it. Then, as I sat here working on today's main blog post, we started to hear sirens coming in the distance. And then there was some more.

I looked out of the window and there was a bus, with the whole of it's front window blown out, and a van on the other side of the road. A woman was laying on the floor and an ambulance had come. I am guessing that things are pretty bad because a helicopter has just landed, blowing all of the trees about like a tornado. It still hasn't left, so I guess that they are transporting the woman to hospital as safely as possible. The road has been completely closed. Can you believe that one of my vile neighbours, Pig (Oddbod's husband) was out in his garden like a flash, hanging over the fence with a zoom lens, taking photographs? The repulsiveness of my neighbours never ceases to amaze me, but I wouldn't have thought that even their lack of sensitivity and consideration would have stooped this low.

I hate things like this. They stun me. How can a woman be out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, doing her general business, and then have her life changed so quickly and dramatically? I can't explain how I feel really. I just feel an extreme rush of worry and upset for her, and for her family, who will probably only be learning about what has happened now. Isn't it strange how you can feel such strong emotions for someone you don't even know? Aside from Pig next door, who probably enjoyed the excitement of the whole thing, I could see other neighbours and bystanders looking from a safe distance and appearing concerned. Maybe another aspect of the collective one that I wrote about a few days ago.

Rather than draw a card to go with this post, I simply picked one. A man holds his head. Or does he cover his ears? This is probably one of the darkest cards in my pack, visually. The sea is deep and dangerous and it calls to the man. He tries to block it out with his hands and turns his back to it, but the tide continues to hammer away at the soft sand. He holds his head in fear and extreme worry. This is probably not far off how the family of the anonymous woman on the other side of my garden wall are probably reacting, with deep anxiety, panic and shock. If someone or something can answer prayers, then please hear mine and get this woman to safety as quickly as possible.



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

The Wind of Change

I love this first card. It's one of those that wasn't much to begin with, but after I had collaged parts of it together and then manipulated their style, intensity, and dark tones, it became something entirely different. I really like how the water has become like thick smoke or dry ice on a dance floor. The broken platform is lost in the dense landscape and held fast, as if in mud.

The second card is one of the first I created for this deck, but it grew from it's own free will. This makes it one of the images from the pack which had no initial meaning. The large face in the sky, which appears to be made of both the wind and the rain looks down on the dark beach. Even though a young and kind face, it seems threatening, due to it's size. It reminds me of the four winds which were painted in The Playing Card Oracles by C J Freeman. You could call this one the wind of change, blowing it's way across the shoreline. In that respect, I would expect some kind of changes to occur for the stuck piece of pier or whatever it is in the first card.

I thought it might be interesting to show a quick snippet of how these cards are born. Since I started doing this, I have built up an archive of useful photos - many of beaches from around the world, storms, and clouds. I have also flipped through fashion sites online and have done general searches for my characters. Take this guy below. I am not quite sure where I found him, but he was probably dug up from one of my searches relating to surfers and surfing. I do have a selection of females in the deck, but as a response to the many, many heavily feminine decks out there, I wanted to dominate mine with men. There are very few decks like this and I miss the more masculine side in most. This blonde guy has been ripped from his car and balloon, and now stands outside his self-built home. The structure, ground and sky are all separate images that I have tried to fuse together as seamlessly as possible. For me, this is a card about self-sufficiency and being proud of your achievements; standing on your own two feet, you might say.




Yesterday started early. My boyfriend and I got up and watched the first stages of the royal wedding while we got dressed. We collected some resources at the shops and then made it over to my friend's house, where we watched the prince and Catherine tie the knot. The bride did look beautiful, and despite the lace, I did like the shape of her dress. I just wish that someone would do something with William and Harry's hair. After the wedding, we were joined by another family and we all walked to a barbecue, where we spent the rest of the day. It was a warm afternoon, regardless of the dour weather predictions, and we managed to sit out in the garden, chatting and catching up. The day was finished off with a few drinks in town. Even though a nice atmosphere there, my boyfriend and I snuck off home many hours before my other friends did.

Today's cards move things along in a gush of wind and change. Things which were stuck are now dislodged and become free to move and dance at their own pace. I am not entirely sure what this relates to but I do feel more open to the future. My parents have organised a meeting here with a new estate agent, after a good six or so months off of the market, so maybe today's cards have something to do with freeing us from this place where we feel trapped.



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

Have you had enough yet?

I think that the second card in today's set, which I have nicknamed Repose, seems to always turn up when I am tired. It is a card that I have begun to relate to as a calming of the mind, a closing of the eyes, and the sending away of worry and anxiety. I was up early this morning for the first day in a new school. My boyfriend drove me through the dense traffic, and once there, one of the other practitioners and I visited each of the classes, talking with the teachers and briefly meeting the pupils from each of the sixteen groups I will work in. After reviewing the day, I then needed to go to a hotel on the motorway to meet with an agent so that we could talk about another project I am working on. It is no surprise that Repose is here today, since I am really shattered. Today has been pretty draining.

I have an idea what the first card in this duo might mean and relates to someone else in my life, who needs to finish a relationship. Two skulls sit together on a dark stretch of sand, and behind them, a lightning storm rages. For me, this card suggests an ending - a little like Death in the tarot deck, it is less severe than it looks. As well as highlighting this situation, I wonder if it is suggesting that my computer is on it's way out, since it had another little tantrum this evening. For the third time this week, it would not turn on properly and needed to be turned off and on about seven times before it began to boot properly. I am using it now and have taken the opportunity to put a lot of my files on a stick, just in case it fails to let me back on in the future and takes it's final breath. I can't complain about this machine really, since it has worked it's backside off for the last six years, day in and day out, but I could do without the expense of having to buy a new one at the moment.

It has been hard to escape tomorrow's royal wedding. Since I walked through the door this evening, all I have seen on the television are the final steps of the single William and Kate, documentaries about their past, programmes associated with their wedding, and footage of the thousands of nutjobs that have already been camping out on the streets for two days. I have to say that the prince and his fiance do come across as a pretty likeable and down to earth couple, but as with everything in this country, they have been forced down our throats by the media to the point where we are just about sick of the sight of them. On the night before their wedding, am I the only one who has had enough?



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

More from The Dark Beach

Slipping Out of Focus

Today is the only day this week where my boyfriend and I had no arrangements. I did originally have something penciled in, but that has been put back, so today pretty much stretched out unfilled before I go to work tomorrow. With some missed calls and a few messages left on my phone, I was not entirely sure how it would be spent.

The second card shows what looks like a storm in the background. I don't actually see this as a bad thing, since there are many dark skies in these cards; I simply see it as action and drama here. The young blonde man in the image is not sleeping as you might first think. He is moulding into the shape of the black rocks around him and is hiding. From down on the beach, he can not be seen, and this is how he likes it.

This is quite a personal card for me, because I often feel the need to slip out of focus. I love the people around me, but I need time to myself as well, where I can recharge. As an example, when I got back from dinner yesterday, I set to making some new covers for my parent's garden furniture. The original ones are a stark green and white and are now very stained and dirty. My parents were considering buying new seats, but these days, there is something very environmentally and economically comforting about recycling and not just chucking things out for replacements. My dad and I went through my fabric box and we found two lots of fabric that would suit. One piece, which we decided to use for the front, is in a fresh blue and white. I made small ties to fit into the seams, so that it can be anchored to the seat, and a handy built-in slip for the top, so that it fits flush over the chair back. I made up a pattern, cut the different fabrics, and sewed up one cover last night. I did the second this morning. The first card in today's duo is about friends and friendship. As much as this is generally a good card, the blonde guy in the second card slips into the rocks to avoid them, so that he can get on with his furniture cover project.


I got my second cover and two small cushions completed. Amidst the messages, we decided to meet one good mate across the road in the local pub garden. I didn't drink, but she and my boyfriend had a couple of glasses of wine in the sunshine. It is such a peaceful place to be. The road which runs next to it creates no more than a quiet hum, so it is always relaxing to spent time there. We only stayed for a few hours, since my friend needed to collect her children from school, which was just enough. My boyfriend bought some crusty bread and other food from the supermarket and is now in the garden with my dad, trying out the new seat covers and reading, while I slip inside my own dark rocks and tie up a few loose ends in the shadows of my bedroom. I need to sort a few things before my first day back at school tomorrow.

I am really enjoying my Dark Beach Oracle. Even though I created the images, they still present new thoughts and ideas with each time used. I wasn't entirely sure what I thought of today's second card (let's call it In the Shadows for now) at first. He could be sleeping, but it seems more likely that he is trying his best to not be seen. Depending on where he turns up in readings, this could also concern a lack of honesty or commitment from others. Even though modern in appearance, there is something about the guy and the way in which he has stretched himself out beneath the storm, that reminds me of an old Renaissance painting.



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

Keeping it Buttoned

For today, I have two repeats. From yesterday, the first card (let's call it repose) turns up once more. It is right that it should be here, since I am still not feeling recovered from my cold. All of my symptoms were still in tact by the time I turned in last night, and feeling restless, left my bed to sleep downstairs where it is quieter, cooler, and I could toss and turn without waking my boyfriend. I think that colds always feel worse at night and in the morning.

The Diver turns up again to illustrate rash choices or words that are spoken without thought. Together, I see the cards as a warning for me to hold my tongue. There was a situation today where I could have snapped and offended someone, but I chose silence instead. In terms of jumping into anything generally, I haven't had the energy to. And this is what I think the cards suggest I hold back from while I am unwell. My boyfriend and I have been working through another box set (Lynda La Plante's Widows), so this morning was spent quietly in my room, absorbed by that. It was a good way to repose before going off to pick up his niece and nephew from school. We took them out for dinner, as their parents were having a business meeting for their company.


Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

The Collective One

I expected one of these two cards to come up today, but I am a little surprised that both have.

The first card shows a group of people huddled together on the shore of the Dark Beach. They all share the same vision of the red sea, as it hypnotically jumps and bubbles about in front of them. Each member of the four sits close and are touching. As much as being individuals, they are a collective one. I see them as friends and my social community, tasting each part of the Dark Beach together. There is something warming about this seemingly dark and cold image.

The second card shows a man. He lays horizontally under the setting sun. The winding trunks of trees behind him almost look as if they are exiting from his head. I see these as loose and stray thoughts that need to be abandoned so that he can sleep. For me, this card is all about rest and the stilling of the mind. Like the setting of the sun, we all need to be able to close down.

By the time I went to sleep last night, I felt awful. My chest and stomach were aching from too much coughing and sneezing, my head felt as though it contained a bowling ball, and I was beginning to get a little shivery. Eventually, I did manage to get a good night's sleep, and despite feeling pretty much the same when I awoke this morning, the edge had been lifted from my cold. I knew that the second card would turn up today because it suggests that I need rest and mustn't over-do things. I also expected to see the card of friends and social community, due to having planned a picnic in a park for lunchtime. Thankfully, my boyfriend took care of all of the preparation by going to the supermarket at 8am to buy the provisions and then rushing home to make sandwiches for us. All I needed to do was get in the bath and be waiting for 10 o'clock, when he arrived with his two nieces and nephew.

Today was a stripy Nepalesian pants with wooden jewellery and sunglasses kind of day. Not feeling my best, I drew on the calm and bohemian side of my personality; kind of akin to the Dark Beach, I guess. It was also a day for bottles of water, Neurofen, and man size tissues. It was as hot today as any of the others recently and we found ourselves a space to lay three blankets in the very busy park. In the end, we were six adults and seven children, sharing food and drink, and chatting the afternoon away. Even though I still didn't feel well into the evening, the company took my mind off of my cold and I think being outside in the fresh air did me some good; even if I do resemble a panda now, through not removing my sunglasses all day.

This is what the four friends in the first card mean to me. While feeling unwell, they distracted me from how I was feeling. Good friends can do that, when you need to escape. The second card put me straight to bed when I got in. I was very tired and snuggled up in my duvet while my boyfriend watched the football., which is where I intend to return when I have finished here.



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

Their Size Nines

I haven't left my room today. With my boyfriend's aunt, uncle, and nan coming to his parent's house for Easter Sunday dinner, my boyfriend and I had also planned to attend. However, due to my cold, I woke up feeling worse than I had the day before and he suggested that he go alone. As much as I wanted to go and see them, I didn't want to sit there coughing and spluttering, with the possibility of passing my germs on to his elderly grandmother, so instead, I have spent the day in bed. My eyes have ached so much, as they are now, and have kept me in sleep for most of it. I have been awake for the last hour and am already thinking about an early night.

It's typical that I get ill on a bank holiday when the sun is shining and everyone is out enjoying themselves. I guess it couldn't be helped. I have plans to go out tomorrow and am hoping that my sacrifices today will enable me to still do so. I have dosed myself up on Neurofen Cold & Flu tablets (which I swear by) and have been drinking lots of fluids, so I have my fingers crossed that I will be able to make tomorrow's early start.

Today's cards are from my self-made Dark Beach Oracle. The first shows someone diving into the sea and the second highlights the tears of a man. Behind him, a staircase with a rope handrail beckons. His tears will change him in some way.

When I look at these cards together, I see the diver as symbolic of impulse actions and un-thought-out words. We can all be good at giving others advise or telling them what we think they need to hear without being sensitive to their feelings. In this duo, I see tears as the results of someone else's actions. I am quite certain that this is not about me, but it could easily revolve around a friend of mine. As quite an emotional woman, a less-sensitive other may have just stamped through her emotional hallway in their size nines without wiping their feet.


Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

The Dark Beach

As some of you know, I quite enjoy making card decks. Or at least, I like to begin making card decks, since the momentum usually collapses pretty quickly and they end up getting stored in my ever-growing archive of the incomplete. However, I recently put together two Instant Oracle's, which I did finish; one for myself, and the second for a friend. Completing my friend's copy gave me a feeling of satisfaction, because I realised that I can reach the other end if I push myself. It involved a lot of cutting, sticking, and laminating, but it was worth it.

A couple of years ago, I began an oracle called The Dark Beach. It had originated in a project I had started at work. While fishing through the new fashion trends for the season, I happened upon a visual mood board for boyswear on a prediction site. It was a surf story with an uncharacteristically edgy, dark, and grungy feel to it. It might have been inspired by the tv show Lost or it could have been born in something much earlier, such as The Lord of the Flies, but wherever it originally grew from, the idea captivated me and began to take further shape in my mind. I put together a print style board for my portfolio entitled Beach Boy, working with a palette of rustic browns, oranges, deep greens, and dark surfy blues, but The Dark Beach wanted to stretch itself further than prints for little boy's t-shirts and shorts. This was when I started to put together images for an oracle.

The images I have used for The Dark Beach are from many different sources. Most have been found online. Once retrieved, they have been heavily manipulated in Photoshop. For the backgrounds in my cards, I took what were pleasant coastal pictures and changed them into desolate and foreboding landscapes. The Dark Beach is symbolic of the deepest and darkest places within our mind, heart, and soul. Not all of such places are pretty enough to make sandcastles. I then collaged many of the figures onto their backgrounds, playing with scale and cutting away what was not needed on the computer.

Quite recently, I watched a few videos on You Tube about Soul Collage. In thinking that it might be something I'd enjoy doing, I thought back to The Dark Beach and realised it was something I'd already invested a great deal of time in. I looked back at the work I had completed from the deck and realised that it was the kind of pack I would buy if I saw it in a shop. With that, I decided to print it out, laminate it, and get to work with using it.

So far, I have near to thirty cards. I plan to do more, but for now, they are workable enough as they are. The cards are borderless and the colours are both dark and rich. I laid a few cards on my bed this afternoon and realised that they easily touch some place within. Maybe this is the strength in creating your own cards. Even though I have nicknames for some, I have left them titleless, since there are a multiple of different ways that they can be viewed and interpreted; in that way, they are similar to the Soul Card packs byDeborach Koff-Chapin.



Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

Just Right

Last night was perfect. My boyfriend and I turned up at our friend's house while it was still light and we all sat out in the garden for an hour. A few of the guys soon went off to see a band in town, which was what the evening was built around, and my boyfriend and I stayed home and retired inside with their wives. It was only the four of us, but the company was just right. There wasn't many conversational subjects left untouched and it just goes to show that with no more than tea touching our lips, you don't need alcohol to make a good night; something I have been aware of for a while. In fact, I think I preferred it this way. We laughed and remembered the night for all of the right reasons.

It has been a scorching hot day, so my boyfriend and I drove to Canterbury. After doing little in the day yesterday, I had wanted to get out and make the most of the weather today. We cut through the countryside, along the coastline, and wandered around the shops for a couple of hours. My throat is still really sore and I have developed a few other cold symptoms, so I have dragged a two litre bottle of water around with me all day and am not feeling my best this evening. My eyes and head feel heavy and I have a really tickly cough. It was nice to get out, but I was tired when I got home.

The Star drops into my day. I always think of her as a small window in the darkness. Interestingly, she naturally follows Thursday's card, The Tower, and is part of the rebuild I mentioned. As I told a friend on the phone this evening, there is always that small window of light to step through, however dark the place we find our self in is.



Illustration from The Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui Mun Law

Beyond my Closed Blind

There is something special about bank holidays. They really lift the collective soul of people, I feel. Especially when the weather is as good as it is now. We have four days spread out in front of us, ready to be sprinkled with visitors, an afternoon in a park with my friends and their kids, and seeing my boyfriend's nan. We have another one next week, due to the Royal Wedding, so my boyfriend cleverly booked the days off in between before anyone else in his office.

Talking of my boyfriend, he is asleep and my blinds are drawn, bricking out the beautiful sunshine and trees. I can see it poking through the bottom, beckoning us to come out and play, but for the moment, I will let him rest. He gets up so early for work every day that I don't want to deprive him of the odd lay in. I, on the other hand, have been up for hours, sewing a bag and spread cloth for my Shadowscapes Tarot. It always bugs me when decks don't come with a decent means of storage, and this deck is so special to me that I felt it was time to give it a protective home. I bought an array of different fabrics yesterday, but it isn't the easiest pack to colour match. When placed next to lilacs, it looked too blue. When matched with blue, the deck looked too lilac, so in the end I bought some purple and black material. The black for the bag has a dull silver floral print on it, which picks up the card's borders nicely. When placed on the purple spread cloth, which I backed in black, the card backs are really complimented and look rich.

Today's card shows an apathetic mermaid. She has slithered out of her world in the sea for some time to contemplate and reflect in the land of air. Maybe she is a little dissatisfied with the norm and yearns for something different. I suppose she could represent me generally. Even though the day has just begun, I do get a little bored of sitting around here in my room. As I type, my teenage neighbour is hammering away at his punch ball in the garden and I am aware that life goes on outside of my window, beyond the closed blind. My closest and oldest friend is travelling up here with her husband today to visit a mutual mate, so we are all getting together later. She and I have been friends for thirty-five years, but with one thing or another, haven't seen each other in the last six months. We email and text regularly, but some real face to face contact will be nice. In a few hours I will start getting myself ready, and like the mermaid in the 4 of Cups, will then dive back into the pool and join the land of the living. For the moment, however, as my immediate world sleeps around me, I will reflect quietly on it's surface.



Illustration from The Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui Mun Law

Bombshell

The Tower has been struck by lightening. The great old tree, which has lived for hundreds of years, is now burning. It's structure will soon be burned to it's core and it's inhabitants will need to find somewhere new to live. They'll probably have to try and build an entirely different place from scratch.

When someone drops a bombshell or we're confronted with something we wasn't expecting, it sometimes feels like this. We wonder how we can ever get back to where we once were, safe and secure. It just takes time to rebuild. This is what I see in today's card. For now though, it is more about the storm than the calm that follows it.

I have had a lazy day today. My boyfriend's mother dropped me off in a town near to where they live this morning and I wandered through it's streets, popping into a couple of bookshops and loitering with intent in my new favourite fabric shop. I couldn't resist buying some odds and ends there before getting my train home. By that time, my throat felt sore and I was getting a headache. It has been so warm today and every year I question if I have hay fever that little bit more seriously. So I slept away a couple of hours this afternoon, trying my best to block out the noise of Oddbod's guests with ear plugs and pleasant thoughts.

Once again, I think that today's card has something to do with others around me, rather than being about myself. With the day at it's end, I have not had any significant Tower moments. My boyfriend and I went and sat out in the garden of my local and had a few drinks with two good friends this evening. It was so warm that even when we left there and went to town for a couple of hours more, it was still comfortable enough to sit out on a terrace, which we did. It really feels as though Summer has come early this year.



Illustration from The Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui Mun Law

A Fresh Blow

I never tire of looking at this deck. I showed it to the friend who wishes to buy a tarot pack yesterday and she really liked it, saying that it might be the one she chooses to start with. Despite the usual complaints from critics, saying that the images are too small, I think it could be a good set to start with. I find it's meanings very clear to interpret and can see the small details well enough, due to the sharp printing of images. This deck is far more than a pretty face. Some people are just never satisfied.

Swans are beautiful and serene birds. This is probably the reason why Tchaikovsky dedicated a ballet to them. However, on the flip side, they can be very strong and dangerous to be near. I am probably not the only person who has been told that a swan can break your arm with just one swoop of it's wing. Whether that is true or an old wife's tale, I don't know, but I am not willing to test out the theory. The Ace of Swords can be a bit like the swan, since it is double edged. It can bring both beautiful insight to a reading or break an emotional bone.

My father didn't have the operation yesterday. After fasting all day and spending hours waiting at the hospital, the doctors decided that there wasn't enough time. To have the least painful of two possible procedures, he was advised to leave and come back in a couple of weeks, which he did. So it was pretty much a waste of a day for him, as well as a hungry one.

For today, the Ace of Swords is clarity. For some people, it will be about the fog clearing and a fresh blow of insight; they will work something out and see things clearer. For me, it represents a few new ideas. Since being diagnosed with chronic fatigue, I have put a little weight on; nothing dramatic. In fact, for my height, I am probably underweight. But as someone who has always been skinny, it is not something I am used to or comfortable with. I am wondering if it has something to do with the medication the doctor put me on a year ago, since I looked about online and saw that a lot other people have experienced similar on the drug I am taking. This is possibly my moment of clarity for today. I think it might be time to start weening myself off of them.




Illustration from The Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui Mun Law

The Arm of the Empress

My sleep has been disturbed of late. The bones in my neck have ached and the joints in my hands feel rusty, so getting comfortable has not been easy. It is probably down to my chronic fatigue, but that doesn't stop me from worrying. I think too much when I am supposed to be sleeping and am often hit with the shards of panic around 4am. For anyone who understands tarot, these experiences lend themselves to the 9 of Swords. But now that I am up, the sun fills my room and removes the night's shadows. For today's card, I have drawn the nurturing and life-giving Empress. This one has a bowl of her fruits to share and a soft embrace to soothe nightmares.

For me, this card is very much about giving. The Empress wishes to care for the world and those around her, which is why she is often linked to the mother archetype. As well as sharing her fruits of nurture and warmth with her children and family, the card is also about checking our own health and providing our body with what it needs. I didn't get out to run much last week and the fried chicken I had on Saturday evening is still laying heavily on my conscience. There is most probably a good reason why the The Empress carries a bowl of fruit in today's draw, as appose to a KFC ten-piece bucket. She knows my secrets.

So I took my run in the sunshine early this morning. Last week's chill has evaporated and all around is thick with greenery and small flowers. That's The Empress showering us with her goods, I expect. Unfortunately, I will probably need to stay inside today, since I have a lot of mundane stuff to do; write-ups on previous lessons, invoices, plans for future school projects, and propositions for agencies. The best I can do is to throw open my windows and draw my blind up as far as it will go. If I can't get to Mother Earth, then she'll have to come to me.

My father is meant to be going into hospital today for an operation. He has been up since 7.30, waiting for them to call him and tell him that he has a bed. It is midday now, he is still dressed and waiting, and has had nothing to eat or drink. I am hoping that the extended arm of The Empress will look after him and keep him safe while he is away from home.



Illustration from The Shadowscapes Tarot by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

The Rhythm of Life

I love it when tarot can pull you off to some place else. Take this morning. On drawing my card for today, I was off, finger-walking my way through YouTube, watching videos about shamanic trance-dance, of which I knew nothing about before. That's what the young woman is doing in the illustration for the 5 of Vessels. Entitled Ecstasy, she is shown dancing within the light of her pentangle. Against a background of the starry sky, I like to think of her as communicating with the rhythm of life.

Those who practice kabbalah learn to tune in to what is called the 99% realm. The remaining 1% is what we perceive in our physical world through our five senses. We can arouse the 99% in dreams, through acts of kindness, love, sex, and meditation. To me, it seems as if the girl in the 5 of Vessels is doing the same kind of thing. She is being taken over by inspiration and joining a world outside of the mundane one that we can see and touch.

For those who are used to the Rider Waite pattern of tarot, this card takes quite a diversion. I wonder how many people will buy this deck because of the art and then render it unusable, due to it not being familiar enough to Waite's tradition. Rather than feelings of loss and emotional withdrawal, the 5 of Vessels is about connection, union, and inspiration. So what could this mean for me today?

In one of the videos I watched, a woman called Jennifer Masters suggests that one of the keys to shamanic trance-dancing is being able to let go. She says that we must try and push away our inner chattering, which I have heard described in Buddhism as the Monkey Mind. The Monkey Mind is a metaphor to characterize those times when our mind keeps jumping from one thing to another, just like a monkey restlessly moves from tree to tree. Instead, both our body and mind must surrender to the music and rhythm. This reminds me of how some people are taken over by spirit in their religious practice.

I felt drained this morning. I have days like that, and rather than fight it, I went with it and let the rhythm of tiredness ride me. I slept for an extra hour, and now I am up, I plan to get on with some art work. I think that this is where today's card lays. I find it very hard to stick with projects. If I start something and it doesn't go the way I had envisioned, I often abandon it pretty quickly. And this is not what this card wants me to do. The 5 of Vessels is asking me to quieten my monkey chattering and ignore those thoughts about my work not being right, good enough, or heading towards the bin. The card suggests that I simply link in with the rhythm of the piece and simply create, without any conscious worry about where the work is going. Easier said than done? Maybe, but I shall give it a go, all the same.

My friend bought me this pack of cards for my birthday. It is one of four decks I have that is illustrated by Will Worthington. However, this one has a slightly different style to the other three. These are lighter, where as the paintings in the others are more dense. For a moment, I wondered if they are actually line drawings, coloured up on the computer. If not that, then watercolours. There is something fresher about these. They remind me of children's storybook illustrations, since they have a lot of energy about them. I have heard that the deck has provoked a lot of controversy and criticism, due to being linked to a long-out-of-print deck called The Greenwood. I don't know what the collective beef is with The Wildwood, but I am guessing that it has something to do with the merchandisers jumping on the back of Chesca Potter's visionary original paintings. It amazes me how so many people can show such unyielding loyalty to one artist or deck, and then turn a blind eye to the thousands and thousands of rip-offs of Pamela Coleman Smith's Rider Waite illustrations.

I have never really tuned in to what was so wonderful about the original deck, so none of the controversy makes much difference to me. I am excited about getting to know it for what it is, and not for what it isn't. There are some striking illustrations in the set, which I know will be lovely to use out in nature, as well as at home here. As with other decks I have, it is made all the more special through being gifted by a very close friend.



Illustration from The Wildwood Tarot by Will Worthington

Grace

Meet Grace. Well, that is the name of today's card, so it is the name I am giving to the woman. Hers is one of the more beautiful images in the pack, which I guess fits well with it's interpretation. The twenty-second card is of beauty and highlighting the exterior. I wish I knew what some of the Chinese writing in these illustrations say.

My boyfriend and I finally watched Niagara last night. Marilyn Monroe really was both beautiful and elegant in it and this card reminds me of her character, Rose; the way in which her beauty reeled Joseph Cotton's character in. It covered up her true intention of bumping him off so that she could skip away with her lover. Sometimes, we focus only on what is on the outside - for example, Rose's smile, her shapely curves, or her platinum blonde hair. Appearances can be deceiving. Like Rose, Grace is very beautiful. But what lays beneath the illusion? Looking at the actual illustration is interesting. The painting on Grace's face suggests tears. Could they be representative of what she feels in her heart?

The sun has made a return, but this is also somewhat of an illusion, since there is an icy tinge to the air and I have just had to grab a hoodie from my wardrobe. It's not as warm out as it looks. There are things I really could be getting on with today. I say 'could' rather than 'should' because it is Sunday after all. I am just not much good at sitting down and doing nothing. Especially when my boyfriend has planned to watch the Formula One on the television this afternoon . I am still yet to start working on my 72 Names art piece, so I might have a go at that.




Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

Farewell

It's nice to be able to share my love of the cards with others. My boyfriend and I have just spent the last few minutes passing this card, Chi Chi, back and forward, trying to work out what the illustration is of. I am still unsure whether it is a window shown from the inside or the outside. Due to the nature of it's meaning, I would guess that the red is a sunset, viewed from within.

I have one very good friend who I have been talking to about card decks for nearly ten years, I'd say. We chat about all kinds of tarots and oracles and she is the first person I write to and tell when I get a new deck. When I bought this one, I felt as though I had to tell her straight away, so emailed from my phone as I walked through the dense crowds of London's Oxford Street. But in my physical community, not many of my friends care so much for tarot or the different packs I buy. It disappoints me when I show my parents a new edition and with a shrug of their shoulders, they say that all the cards I have look the same. It's just a lack of interest that makes them seem that way, I suppose.

A friend of mine expressed an interest in learning the tarot last week. I get so excited when someone becomes interested enough to buy a pack of cards. I become intrigued by which set they will buy and how they will interpret them. I do have one mate who has been learning for the last couple of years. She uses the original Rider Waite. If my other friend follows that similar pattern, the three of us could practice together.

Today's card is about completion. As I see it, the illustration depicts the closing down of a day, and therefore, a situation. As I write, I am not sure what is coming to an end. My anxiety continued throughout yesterday, so it would be nice if this card could be predicting it's passing and farewell.

Last night was nice. Three friends joined my boyfriend and I and we sat outside a local pub, talking into the evening. Feeling anxious beforehand, the wine actually did the trick, relaxing me enough to enjoy myself. My boyfriend and I have had a quiet day in my room and he is now laid out on the bed, watching the football. Thinking about the sixty-third card of the Dead Moon I-Ching, I guess that it could also represent satisfaction after achievement, or rest after busier times.



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

The Next Move

It's funny how you can spend time mulling over just about every potential unexpected event that could be, and then get walloped around the head by something you didn't imagine for a second. Laying in front of the television last night, I started to feel a little anxious. After five minutes, I started to experience the beginnings of a panic attack. It wasn't provoked by anything that I am consciously aware of, but my chest started to feel tight and my breathing began to change. There's card 51 for you. Good old Chen.

The title of today's card is Decline and the hexagram is Ku. The woman lays on the floor, considering whether to pick herself up or not. Her eyes are closed and her hair appears dishevelled. It is now time for her to make decisions and possibly right the wrongs in her past. To my understanding, she either gives in to decay or she chooses to correct a situation which has left her stuck. To be honest, she doesn't look as though she is in a fit state to do anything.

Some of these cards remind me of tarot archetypes. I imagine this is down to all maps of life being similar. Ku is a little like the major tarot card Judgment, where we are advised to make a future step based on a good look into our past. It takes bravery to get up off of the floor at times like this. The woman in this illustration is advised by Ku to look back at what has been 'spoiled by man' and make it good again 'through man's work'. For me, this is about taking responsibility and resolving things which have gone awry. Once again, I think that this card is pointing at someone else, rather than me.

I met my friend for breakfast again today. It has been nice to spend more time with her of late. Our conversations freewheel through books to spirituality, touching on our past and our future, our hopes and our dreams. I see more of her in me and more of myself in her as the years pass. We hung around in a cafe for a couple of hours and I just got home. My boyfriend and I have planned to go for a drink with another mate across the road this evening. I was adamant that I would not go into town, where temptation lays in every late bar and the eyes of all who I meet, and I suggested this 'country pub' instead. Without the persuasive wink of town and it's inhabitants, we can come straight home when the last orders bell tolls. Well, at least, that is the idea.

So what of the beautiful oriental woman in today's card? She still lays on the floor, contemplating her next move. I recognise that this card is more about the process of decision making, rather than a decision itself, so until future cards point out her future, I can do no more than leave her to think over her options.



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

Caught on the Hop

Today's hexagram is Chen, which depicts two large rumbles of thunder. In the illustration, a woman is shown upside down, flailing in the air. For anyone who knows tarot, the imagery might sound familiar. The tarot houses a similar visual pattern for it's Tower card and it's meaning lays extremely close to the 51st card in this I-Ching deck. Chen represents sudden and unexpected change; the kind which knocks you off of your feet, as it has this young lady.

I don't know about you, but I am not very good at greeting the unexpected. As an example, I absolutely hate spontaneous visitors. If someone is coming to see me, I like to know ahead of time. There has been many occasions where I have left a friend standing on the doorstep, and have peered at them from above through a crack in the bedroom curtains. On a few occasions, I have actually asked them to go away and come back later. I hate being caught on the hop with an untidy house or dressed in slobby clothing. Not so long ago, a couple turned up to see me on a whim one evening. I hadn't shaved, my hair was a mess, and I was wearing a big baggy tracksuit. My dad called out to tell me they were at the door. I whispered down 'Make up an excuse and get rid of them'. Unbeknown to me, he had actually let them in by this point. They were standing at the bottom of the stairs and had heard everything I had said. Whoops.

I guess that the best way we can take advice from a card like this is by trying to be prepared. This is not just about having a shave and changing out of our funky bed clothes for the unexpected visitor. It could be that we simply need to centre and relax. Our responses to change can be a bigger enemy than change itself. Due to my lifestyle, I am never usually ready for anything. If I do not have any immediate plans, I will often leave it late in the day before I get into any kind of gear. Should anything come up by chance, I am left running around like a headless chicken, trying desperately to get up to speed. Knowing that someone might be chucking a curve ball in my direction, as Chen suggests, I can try to at least put myself one step ahead of it.

The sun from the beginning of the week has gone on vacation, and doesn't look as though it is coming back any time soon. Yesterday's grey day has turned cold and I needed to borrow a scarf from my boyfriend for my journey back here this morning. I have a few ideas about what today's curve ball could consist of, so once I am finished here, I intend to go and get myself ready for what might be about to hit.



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

The Twins

Yesterday's threat of danger lingered into the afternoon. Can you believe that my dad came into my room and bashed his head on the same spiteful shelf corner that I did? With that in mind, we put our two bruised heads together and decided to take the shelves down and buy some smart new bookcases; just two really tall ones, which would hopefully house my large collection of books. The plan is that they will eventually be something that my boyfriend and I can take with us when we move in together. For now, they will make my room look tidy for while we try to sell this house.

They don't make flat pack furniture like they used to. Well, you'd actually think that they'd make it better now than they once did, but my first towering bookcase was nothing less than a bugger to put together. How ever much my parents and I tried, the components in the pack would not do what the instructions told us to do with them and the entire thing looked rickety and unsafe. Hoping that it would be ok, we got it up against the wall and I began to put my books, which were stacked all the way down the hallway and in the spare room, on their new home. Everything seemed to be going fine until I filled the second shelf and the entire frame caved in. With my boyfriend arriving as it happened, we admitted defeat and decided to call off the operation until today.

My draw for this morning is card 33, entitled Thun. Around the internet, it says that this is a card of retreat. The little booklet that comes with the cards is not illustration-specific, so I am gathering that the army in the picture have decided to leave the temple and back out of a situation. Knowing that the time is not right to proceed, they conserve strength and decide to withdraw until another time; a little like us and our decision to hold off on the difficult bookcases last night. I can imagine the guy at the top of the stairs shouting back to his crew - "We'll come back tomorrow guys ... when we've been to get some new screws, caps, and nails from the DIY store!'. Sometimes, it's wiser to do nothing than something. Caution could be a part of the thirty-third card.

The sun has gone to play elsewhere today. I'm left with a dead palette and a slightly unnerving stillness as a view from my window. I don't like drab days like this, because they can so easily drag me down with them. My father was up early, sorting through his tool cupboard, looking for screws to put the shelves together safely. He always moans about doing things like this, but deep down, I think he secretly enjoys it. When I said I wanted to buy the bookcases yesterday, he went off and made a scale drawing to see which units would fit best against the wall. He likes to find solutions to problems. He has a mind that needs to be occupied, and most importantly, challenged.

So the bookcases eventually got made, amongst the odd flare-up from my father. My mum and I managed to scratch some of his recent painting on a door with the back of one bookcase and he doesn't have the longest of fuses. But despite that, the 'twins' stand in my room and are full to the brim with books - two shelves of tarot, two of Kabbalah, mythology, fiction, art, and fashion; even though there is still another full bookcase in the spare room, most of my books are now easier to find and are displayed far better than before.

Today's card most definitely explains the benefit of downing tools and returning to a project after a cup of tea, a walk, or a night's sleep. Thun suggests that nothing can be accomplished at the present time and retreat is necessary. I think that today's card is also highlighting something which is going on for a friend. It enables her to go away and think about a situation more before acting on it.


Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

Double Trouble

It's funny that a deck with so many handsome portraits in it has not thrown one up in three days, but all the same, l do find today's scenic card extremely captivating. It is called The Abyss and shows what looks like a city surrounded by water. It seems as though the foreboding and dark building is on the shore front, since there appears to be land on the right of the illustration, but it doesn't stop the waves from giving a real battering to all they can reach. Water can be as rough as it can be gentle, and here, the card predicts a danger which must be taken seriously.

This illustration reminds me of one of those disaster movies from the 70s. Do you remember that spate of those? You know the kind; where the aeroplane runs out of fuel, falls out of the sky, and sinks deep into the ocean. It reminds me of those scenes where the water is spraying in from every corner and crack, and the characters fight to simply keep their heads above the surface. Water fills any space and stops for nobody. This card, named K'an, is covered with darkness and suggests misfortune. Each of the halves of the hexagram relate to water, so really, what we have here is double trouble. Despite the fact that it acts as a warning, I find this card very beautiful.

I wish I had had this card yesterday, because I might have been a bit more careful. In the evening, I bent over quickly to put something in the bin, not seeing a shelf, and cracked my forehead right into it's corner. It produced such a loud thud and my boyfriend swung round on his chair to see what had happened. I just held my head in my hands for a few minutes and bent over on the bed. It hurt so much and then I realised it was bleeding. It is ok today, but I did feel dizzy and a little shaky for some time after I'd done it. I have a red scab on my forehead now.

My thoughts of this card were with me this morning. Since it is the Easter holidays, my friend's son accompanied myself and her on our run. At one point, he wanted to take his bike down a steep and rocky path and thoughts of the abyss filled my mind. We persuaded him to take a different route instead. Everything we did appeared dangerous through the eyes of this card and the small playground we sat in after our jog looked like a potential death-trap.

I am home now, out of harms way and avoiding jutting-out shelves at all costs. When I got in, the postman had already been and an envelope was waiting. It contained the missing card from my Wildwood Tarot. I only called the woman late yesterday afternoon, so that is full marks for the customer service received from Connections publishing. I couldn't bring myself to look through the deck when it was incomplete, but now I have the last piece of the jigsaw in place, I might take myself out into the garden this afternoon and read the accompanying book in the sun. My friend and I saw (and ignored) Oddbod and her sons, Dumb and Dumber, as we left this morning. They were off out, so for once, I can expect some peace and quiet out there.



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

It's About Taking the Strain with Others ...

This was one of the main cards that drew me to this deck. Most of the 64 illustrations are portraits, but there are some (such as this one) where things are happening. Here, a great set of doors are being opened by two men. It looks as though there is snow on one side, preventing them from opening easily, so the two guys need to work together to get the job done. The card, Pi, is called Solidarity in this deck. The hexagram at the bottom of the card describes water flowing into other water and forming streams. As well as the two men coming together and strengthening in the same way as the water, I feel that the card could also represent my emotional community and support. It's about taking the strain with others, right? In his book 'The Authentic I-Ching', Henry Wei labels the card 'neighborliness'. For today, this card is about supporting others through tough times. If they can't open the door themselves, then it is up to me to help them.

Even though someone told me that the weather is soon to turn, it is as warm today as it has been all of last week. I got up early this morning and went to get my hair cut. I rushed to the barbers and then raced to a few shops before meeting my friend at the railway station. She and I went for breakfast, looked around the bookshops, and had one sociable drink in a town pub garden this afternoon. I always enjoy to see this particular lady. As well as being fun to be around, we always have conversations on such a broad spectrum of subjects. I think the quality of our friendship owes a lot to having many interests in common. She sorted through the shelves in one bookshop and bought me the book by Henry Wei.

Even though I shouldn't be chucking money over my shoulder willy-nilly, I found a box set of films in a second-hand entertainment store on my way to the station. I had been looking for the movie Niagara in local shops for a while, but with no luck. It was one of my favourites when I was younger and wanted to show it to my boyfriend. It will probably mean little to him, but I know it will take me back to my teenage years for that hour or two. I loved it's drama, the music, and the famous backdrop. I managed to find a set of seven Marilyn Monroe films for £8, so I snatched it up quickly. Don't Bother to Knock, another of my favourites, was also amongst them and clinched the deal.

Grabbing understanding from the I-Ching is a little like trying to catch bubbles or hold water in your hand. It skips out of grasp like a well-kept secret. But in working with this oracle, I am hoping that these illustrations will soon become something of my own. For today, Pi represents the support of mates, compassion, and joint strength.



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo

Through the Keyhole

Yesterday was good. In the end, my boyfriend and I decided to buy tickets for London and took the train up around lunchtime. Despite the odd icy breeze, the weather was very warm and we were able to wander through the West End in just t-shirts. We were not the only ones to stretch out into the sunshine, since the city was crowded beyond belief, and after three hours, we decided to call it a day. However, while there, I visited a few shops and spent the last of my birthday money. I bought the new Wildwood Tarot from the money my friend Kate gifted me, but unfortunately, when I finally opened it in the evening, one card is missing.

As well as getting the incomplete Wildwood, I also hit on Luis Rojo's I-Ching oracle. It is a haunting and dark set of oriental images that I have looked at before, but was a little intimidated by, having no I-Ching knowledge. Regardless of this, I looked at some of the images on a YouTube video while my boyfriend and I ate in Pret A Manger yesterday afternoon and thought about how nice the cards would look laid out. With my lack of knowledge, there still appears to be many stories within the simplistic portraits of the Dead Moon Oracle.

The little book that comes with the Dead Moon is pretty vague, offering next to no ways in. I have a few books on I-Ching, but they are just as tight-lipped. From what I can gather, today's card (entitled The Creative Side) concerns some kind of masculine and positive force and I read that it heralds sublime success. Perseverance brings favourable results to he who is firm and unyielding. Just look at the face of that dragon! He's not going anywhere, is he? I could see how this card might be domineering in a relationship reading.

My mum just came in and told me that there is another house on the market in the court where we live, so we took a look through the keyhole on an estate agent's website to see how it compares to ours. Even though our house is the exact same size as theirs, our garden is bigger and our property is generally more modernly furnished inside. My parents have made a lot of effort to update our house in the last month, whitewashing the walls throughout and changing furniture about to make it look bigger. They have succeeded. The hallway, which many buyers thought looked dark, is now bright and appears twice the size due to the loss of unnecessary furniture. We have also cut away three branches from our tree in the garden, letting in more light, since that was what many people moaned about. When the chipped paint around the front door has been sorted out, we can get our property back on the market. This could be the perseverance and unyielding strength in the first card of the Dead Moon oracle, I Ch'ien. It could be to our advantage that this other house is for sale, since buyers who want a property in this area might see ours as the better value of the two.

The sun is still shining. I have taken a poke from the the title of today's card and plan to do some creative stuff this afternoon. After walking with my boyfriend to the craft store to fetch some materials, I intend to start on my 72 Names visual art piece and also knock up a bag for this deck. Is that creative enough for you, Mr Dragon?



Illustration from The Dead Moon I-Ching by Luis Rojo