The House

From the Radiant Rider Waite, this card has a wonderful glow for today. I usually moan about lamination on cards, but I love the shininess of this set. It's bright and shimmers, which can be very uplifting in use. Seeing those cups in the sky, even though possibly illusionary at this stage, was like drawing the curtains to a lovely sunny day. It brought relief.

My aunt and uncle came this morning. They recently did up their new home so my uncle brought his expertise along, hoping he could size up the bungalow that my parents are interested in. We all drove there in two cars. As we reached the house, the Downs spread themselves before us as a backdrop; such a beautiful view.

My parents said that the place had not been lived in for over three years so was not up to it's best state. However, with that in mind, it actually looked a whole lot better than I was expecting. What was instantly obvious was the amount of space. The rooms were all large and would fit everything that we own very comfortably. We would need to pull out the kitchen and bathroom and install new ones, but the rest of the place was not so bad. Not so bad at all. Once it had been cleared and cleaned, it would be different once again. One of the neighbours invited us into her house, so that we could see how her's looked. With the exact same layout, her home looked amazing and alerted us to the potential on offer.

I was quite excited about today's card. Especially since there is the house in the background, surrounded by trees as the bungalow is. That little stream looks like an arrow, pointing at the property. I see my parents in the two figures standing with their arms open. In case you are wondering, that's my boyfriend and I beside them, doing a little dance.

For today, I see this card simply describing our visit to the house. For once, the three of us are in agreement and want to live there. Because this card is a '10', it marks the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. I would like to think that our search concludes with this property and a new beginning starts with our buying it, but that is just wishful thinking for the moment. The lady who owns it has not lived in it for four years and is in residential care. It is up to a family member to deal with what is going on, but without her say so, things can not move forward. Apparently, she can not communicate after a stroke or sign anything, so it is at an awkward stage. The cups in the rainbow make me wonder if this is yet another house we are all putting our enthusiasm and emotions into, which will end up being taken from us as the other one was last year.

I am staying over at my boyfriend's this weekend as his parents are going on a dancing weekend. We'll stop in tonight but are going out tomorrow. I need to see my doctor first. I have been putting off going there, but my leg, neck and hands ached so much when I woke up this morning, that I thought it would be a good idea to pop in and finally get them checked out.


Illustrations from The Radiant Rider Waite by Pamela Coleman Smith, recoloured by Virginijus Poshkus

The Key

I think this deck is testing me by throwing out all of the cards I am not so keen on. There are some beautifully deep images in this pack, but it keeps giving me the girly pink ones, which wouldn't look out of place on my friend's 8 year old daughter's bedroom wall. At least the colours look nice against the background on the blog, I suppose.

Today's faery holds a key. From what I understand of this card, she advises us to hold something back before she grants us with it. This makes a lot of sense to me. Lucy Cavendish suggests that magick is lost if we talk too much about something before it becomes a reality. After feeling so down yesterday, a few things occurred to me. I thought of some possibilities I might try out. There is no guarantee that my ideas are feasible, but this card suggests I keep them close to my chest for now. I was going to talk about these ideas here, but with this prompt, I'll hold my tongue for a bit and let the 'magick' build up, rather than let it dissipate in talk. The key seems to act as a reward for doing so.

This deck is kind of funny. It's not the type I would have seen myself using, but at times, this kind of pack is just what I need. I can get bogged down by sifting through the symbols of tarot or the different methods of reading playing cards, and I simply need some clear advice. This deck says such things as 'hold on to information', as it does today, or 'you are supported'. A good six or so years ago, I was never one for oracles. This is possibly because I never found any that really suited. But now, I like how they can take you to so many new places. There is little to no restrictions and doing what you wish with them seems to be the rule of thumb. Even though I do think an understanding of structure and a decks symbolism is the way to begin learning the tarot, you can read most oracles out of the box. When I am feeling exhausted, the many possibilities in oracle cards wash over me and carry me into uncomplicated adventure. Once you stamp your own experience on a an oracle card or really get to know it, frilly ones like this become friends and hold the potential for a lot more power, however superficial they might seem to begin with.

There is the possibility that this card, The Keeper of Secrets, might still lay on the surface of interpretation for today and represents a holding back of the truth. Looking at her sitting on her stone seat, she could be described as The Little White Lie, since she is happy to hold knowledge back from those around her and isn't forthcoming about what is true. I can see this in me today as I play with what I choose to tell people on different levels.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

The Broken Down Signpost

I drew this card when I woke up this morning, but wasn't in the best mood to interpret it. I shuffled up the deck again this afternoon and the same card appeared, so I guess it's meant to be.

I have felt tearful since I got up and am not feeling too differently now. It's as though Captain James T Kirk has teleported me back to this time last year, when I felt achy, useless, and had no designs on my future. Since I have a little money saved from my last job, I think it will be difficult for me to get unemployment benefit. Down to the way that things are going, it looks as though it mightn't be much easier for me to get work either. I wrote to my agents about the position in the referral unit today. Ive had nothing back from them. If there was a card in this deck which was dowsed in fog and with a broken down signpost sitting before me, then that would quite realistically be the one for me today, because that is how I am feeling right now - confused and unsure of what to do next.

So what of today's child? She uses the moon as some kind of healing portal. What I see it as, with relation to the keywords beneath the title, is a source for forgiveness, forgiving others, and rising above our ego. Mine feels bashed and tender at the moment. I think this card came here twice today to tell me to give myself a break and forgive myself for all that's been. Yesterday, I was thinking about all of the things I would do differently if I had my time again. Most people say they wouldn't change a thing, but I think I'd be a fool to tread the same footsteps again. If only I had known then what I know now. But this card tells me to ease up on myself and put those thoughts to rest. The child could very well say 'There's enough people out there who will gladly try to drag you down, so why do it to your self'. Point taken.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

A Card for the Afternoon: Catch Me

I felt like pulling an extra card today, for this afternoon. And I am glad I did, because one of my favourite cards from the deck showed up, entitled Catch Me. I love the black against the stormy blues and greys in this one.

The card is reminiscent of The Fool in tarot, since the woman walks off of a ledge. Unlike the birds behind her, she doesn't have wings. However, she behaves as if she does. She steps out with faith and trust that all will be ok. It is as if the path beneath her feet will form itself with each step or the birds will lift her out of danger. This card has some relevance for this afternoon and it does bring a little security to my door.

After deliberating about whether to call on the unemployment services or not, I finally gave them a call to enquire. I had been holding out for more work over the last few months but due to a lack of possibilities and not hearing back from my agency, I started to worry about my fast-dwindling finances and prospects. In that sense, I see myself walking forward and saying to the Job Centre 'Catch me!'.

As well as my financial safety net, I also see my father in this figure. Our agent called this afternoon to make an offer on the house via yesterday's couple. At first, their offer was a little shy of what my parents wanted, so they declined. Ten minutes later, they made another one, more in line with what was wished for. My parents accepted, but of course, there is still a long way to go. They need to sell their house first. Apparently, they have been on the market for just a week but their property has generated a lot of interest.

My parents have seen a house they like. There have been conversations with the guy who holds the keys and it is not on the market. The woman who owns it has been in hospital for many years and her family think it best to sell her home. They seem pretty happy to sell it to my parents but more arrangements need to be made before then. Apparently, it needs a lot of work, but we are interested in it due to it's size and location. My uncle is going to go with my parents to see how much he thinks it will cost to do up. I have reservations about all of this, but my dad is eager to walk forward and start the ball rolling in one way or another. Even though I am apprehensive after seeing how the last big house-disappointment pulled him down, with relation to this card, the words of Lucy Cavendish ring in my mind -

"This faery woman has no discernible wings: yet without them, she still knows how to fly. She is trusting and moving forward, and although all around her are panicking, and wanting her to stay where it seems to be safe, she has faith and will be supported".

Is my father's faith stronger than mine or is his intuition picking up on something worth taking a risk for, that mine isn't?


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

Through the Mist

So the couple came to view our house for a second time yesterday afternoon. Before they arrived, I fell into momentary panic. As if Sod's Law had been ruled over us with an iron fist, Dumb and Dumber flung open their back door fifteen minutes before the viewers got here. They were straight onto their wrestling pit .. I mean 'trampoline' .. and did what they do best - scream, shout, and fight. Knowing that the couple were visiting just two days after initially coming here, this was a worry. The estate agent said that they had looked at other houses over the weekend, but wanted to give ours a second look. Would the idiots from next door send them running from our home, never to return? Could they potentially ruin this interest for us?

I am not sure what happened, but it was as if the gods were looking down from above. Just minutes before the couple rang our bell, the cretins from next door went inside, leaving silence in the back garden. They came and looked around our home again. On their return from the garden, the wife was smiling from ear to ear. She told my mother that she really wants our house and that they will be putting in an offer. Of course, they are yet to sell their own home and there are some complications with a house my parents like, but it is nice to have this kind of response after such little action from buyers. As if by magic, D&D went back to their boxing ring literally seconds after the couple had left. Maybe that small prayer I made to Poseidon had an effect. Someone was definitely looking out for us yesterday and we have another viewing with another buyer booked for later today.

It's misty here today, and amongst the mist, comes Merlin. I feel a strong sense of structure and stability in him. This might have something to do with the fact that the pointedness of his hood reminds me of the roof of a house. He looks to the future, which makes me think he has foresight and knows a tried and tested route through the mist for me to follow. He represents some kind of support and guide; someone who can help me out of this fog I am starting to find myself lost in again. Could he be an agent; either of work or property, helping my family and I to find steps forward? As we know, he freely gave his wisdom to four successive British kings. Is this why he steps into today's draw? To give me some advice?

I still haven't heard back about the job in the referral unit. I keep toying with the idea of emailing them about it but I don't want to appear too pushy. I sent my CV out for a Creative Artworker job this morning. This card could describe myself as a creative mentor for young people, offering them guidance and teaching them what I have learned. This is what I hoped when I drew it with my coffee this morning, but I wonder if it is suggesting that now is the time to go in search of support from the government again. Even though it is the last thing I want, is that what Merlin would advise me to do?

Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

What came first? The Chicken or the Egg?

My friend does this wonderful thing on her blog, where she likens cards from new decks she has bought to ones she remembers from her collection. Try this one out for size. You must have looked through a deck before and thought 'Hey, now that looks a trifle familiar!'. I did the same with a few decks recently. I am now never surprised to see an echo of Brian Froud in the work of Nathalie Hertz and was quite taken aback by the visual hijacking of Fegus Hall's Tarot of the Witches in the Lo Scarabeo Tarot of the Sweet Twilight. Whenever my friend does these posts, I read them with pure delight and admiration of her memory, so in seeing a few similarities to cards I already know in Selina Feneche's Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle, I thought I'd have a go at doing the same. It is interesting that a lot of the cards in her paintings are similar to those from other faery decks, which I would assume she would have been more than aware of. I guess it begs us to ask 'what came first .. the chicken or the egg?'.

The first card I thought looked familiar is one titled Little Boy Blue. In Froud's first oracle deck, there is a young girl who appears similar to this one, but it is his Child from The Heart of Faerie Oracle which this one resembles the most. It's kind of nice how they sit together like friends here, isn't it? They're like two soul mates reunited.


Due to working with The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances quite recently, this was the first card that stood out for me in Fenech's set. She may not be laying amongst the lily pads in death as she is in The Favole, but they are strikingly similar to me. It might seem that the lily pads have actually been replaced by Froud's Topsie Turvets from The Faeries Oracle.



The comparison between these two cards is maybe not as strong as the previous ones, but I thought I had seen this girl somewhere before. It was something about the book and position that I recognised, but in pulling The Seer from The Fae Tarot, I also noticed the similarity between the two thrones they sit on.


The Cry of Nature was another card that appeared instantly familiar. I always loved that little figure from the Ace of Wands in the Fae Tarot and she was one of the reasons why I bought it.



Even though I am not nuts about the little pink faery in the Light the Darkness card from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle, I do adore the large head. Isn't he just great? I see a simularity between him and many of the cards from Froud's two oracles. His head has a strong resemblence to the guy beneath The Journeyman on the right, and on the left, the seated faery in Laiste, Moon's Daughter reminds me of the way in which the small pink faery in the middle uses the goblin's head as a seat.



Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech, The Faeries Oracle & The Heart of Faerie Oracle by Brian Froud, The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances, and The Fae Tarot by Mara Aghem

Blinded by Love

The first card from the Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle is Beauty and the Beast. I am really happy with the new colouring of my blog, because the light greens in this card react so nicely with the soft pinks in the flowers on my blog's background. It all feels nice and fresh, as this time of year often is. Crisp is a word I might use for how things feel here in the UK at the moment.

I tried to start reading Lucy Cavendish's accompanying book to this deck yesterday afternoon, but I admit to having trouble with her writing style. It's colloquial and whimsical and otherworldly all at the same time, which makes it easy to trip up consistently as you take a walk amongst her words. I often prefer a more clear cut and 'to the point' interpretation, which is why I will probably take what she has said with a pinch of salt and form my own map for this deck. Isn't that the real art of reading the cards?

Today's card is one of contrasts. The interpretation could stop there, but the card is subtitled 'unconditional love'. Therefore, it looks at my loving someone, despite dramatic differences. Do we always notice these differences when we love someone? A friend said as much to me the other night about my relationship with her.

If we wanted to plummet even further into the depths of this card, we could consider the main faery and the green goblin-like figures as two parts of our self. I have known many conventionally ordinary people over the years who were so kindly natured or interesting or funny that their true beauty shone way past their exterior looks. On the other hand, I have known some physically attractive people with hearts of jet black stone, who were so selfish and bitter and egocentric that they became ugly to the outside world. I guess that one of the points of this card is that both of these characters live within all of us. It's probably about us seeing past one to notice the other, which unconditional love enables us to do. On a darker side of interpretation, this could present a problem, advising us to remove rose-tinted glasses. How many times have we seen people in relationships who cannot see how bad their partner is treating them, due to being blinded by love. I didn't get around to reading what Lucy Cavendish has written about this thirty-first card, but I doubt it is much different to my thoughts.

I am not quite sure what today's card is pointing at. I do have friends who, despite being stroppy or too focused or intense, I do love and must find ways of seeing past their foibles sometimes. I also wonder if it is about work. Even if I can't find the work I want in the near future, is this card asking me to look past the exterior of different jobs and realise what they can do for me?

As I write, the weather outside is darkening and I can hear the 16 year old lad next door mowing the lawn. Unlike Dumb and Dumber, that is about as much noise as he has ever made. I intend to take a little look around the job sites today, trying my best to see the beauty in what might first appear to be a beast, and after that, we have another house viewing from the couple who came to visit on Friday. Apparently, they haven't sold yet, so we are not quite sure why they are coming to look at the property again so soon, but there is no harm in keeping our fingers crossed, is there?

Illustration from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

The Psychic Superstore

Both my boyfriend and I thought it interesting that Poseidon should turn up today, since we had planned to go to the coast. A week or so ago, my friend had pointed out a flyer to me in a shop in town, advertising a Mind, Body and Spirit festival and I had put it in my pocket. Even though we were not sure what to expect, my boyfriend asked me about it a few days ago, knowing that I'd want to go, so we left early this morning and drove to Hove, near Brighton.

It was a lovely day. I like being out on a Sunday, especially when the weather is good. It took just over an hour to get there and we talked during our car journey. I brought up our conversation from a few nights ago and we discussed ways of moving forward together. Even though he wants us to move in together, he admitted that it was the white wine which intensified his passion for moving that night. He knows I have tried hard to find work and is proud of the work I have done this year. We talked about me doing teacher training, which is something a friend brought up the other night, and said we'd look into how practical that might be.

The Festival of the Millennium was held in a large town hall. It was a couple of quid for each of us to get in and there were about four different halls, full of stalls. There were quite a few readers there, as well as healers. I always enjoy to see what sets readers are using; I noticed the Original Rider Waite, the Gilded, Thoth, and many a Doreen Virtue deck fanned out on the reader's tables. In terms of stuff to buy, there were quite a few book stalls, more crystals than you'd ever know what to do with, and yes, some decks. As I said to my boyfriend, it would be rude to go all of that way, pay the entrance fee and come away empty handed, so we took a slow wander up and down. Even though there were a selection of very reasonably priced tarots, I am a little more drawn to oracles at the moment. I like the idea of using several packs together. For some time, I have been looking at the Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Lucy Cavendish and Selina Fenech. It might be a little cutesy in some places, but generally, I saw it as being pretty workable, so that became my choice for today and I trotted out of the psychic superstore with a grin on my face.

Thinking of Poseidon, we walked down to the sea; funnily enough, passing The Neptune Bar. We took some chips down to the seafront and sat on a bench, watching the water lap at and lick the pebbles. It was nice to respond to today's card in such a physical way. The title for this one is flow. It concerns an opening up of channels and free flowing creativity or fertility. However, I kind of saw the card in a different way. This is probably because I had read the chapter about Poseidon in the book Gods in Everyman by Jean Shinoda Bolen. I saw the sea that the god rides as a bottomless vessel of emotion. In that sense, it reminded me a little of the tarot's Ace of Cups and how I read that. For me, this card is about a possible emotional response to something or an emotional situation.

Once getting home, I pulled the new faeries from their pack. I really like the decks I have already bought which are published by Blue Angel. They are all beautifully presented and the artwork is always good. I realised that the three decks (this, the Gods and Titans Oracle and the Mythic Oracle) could actually be used as one, since they are all the same size. It might be a bit cumbersome to shuffle but not impossible. There are a lot of interesting cards between the three of them and it might be interesting to see how they work as one.

Edited to Add: I checked out the requirements for teacher training. I have 10 GCSEs, A Levels in English Language, Literature and Art, a BTEC in Art & Design, and a degree in Fashion, but I don't have a high enough grade in my Maths GCSE to get on the course. It looks as though that idea is doomed before even having a chance to be born. I don't think I could go through doing that GCSE again. Maths is not my strong point.

Illustration from The Gods and Titans Oracle by Jimmy Manton

For Him, as well as Myself

This card was one of my favourites when I initially looked through the deck. There is a sensitivity in Prometheus's eyes that I was drawn to, which is why I chose to put him in the centre of my banner for the blog. It is a relief to see him as most cards in this deck have a rawer and more oppressive feel than this one. He's quite easy on the eye and rather different to how he is represented in other decks. I first saw him in The Mythic Tarot, where he appears older than here. In this set, he instantly reminded me of a contestant from an old series of Big Brother, called Dale Howard. One of the things I notice about these Gods and Titans is that wherever the characters come from in mythological history, they were never short of a good barber.

I didn't need to read up too much on Prometheus, since I have already encountered him in the tarot and The Mythic Oracle. From my understanding, he was the creator of mankind, which he figured out of clay. You can see him in this illustration, creating a figure and measuring it up against himself. At least that is what I think he is doing. However, different accounts of trickery brought him into conflict with Zeus of Greek mythology. With a strong care for those he created, the most often mentioned story is his theft of fire for his people, which the God of the Sky had withheld. As a punishment, Prometheus was arrested and bound to a stake on Mount Kaukasos where an eagle was sent to feed on his ever-regenerating liver.

Subtitled 'Altruism', this card focuses on his concern for the welfare of others. There are some people who do think of others before themselves and I am lucky to have quite a few friends like that in my emotional community. Yesterday and last night was nice. Kate and I took her daughter, Isis, out in the afternoon and then returned for the other guests. My boyfriend turned up first, followed by three other mates. We always have such nice times there. We popped to the supermarket to pick up some drink, before sitting around in the kitchen talking when the evening had become too chilly to stay out on her patio. Kate is a very selfless woman, so this card could easily shine a light on her. My boyfriend and I stayed over and she and I spent this morning talking and laughing over a bottomless cup of coffee. We have a similar sense of humour. Her company is always uncomplicated, which I need these days. Away from laughing, we talked about my eventually moving in with my boyfriend. After some wines last night, he had brought it up. He never gives me any pressure about our living arrangements and is very supportive, but I know that deep down, he wants us to make that next step. With this card in mind, I need to really look at ways of doing that; not just for him, but for myself as well.

Illustration from The Gods and Titans Oracle by Jimmy Manton

The Boy of Yesterday

It's difficult to search the internet for images of or information about Nuada without being knocked over by stuff about the Hellboy character of the same name. But with persistence, I managed to sift through the many photos of and fan art honouring Luke Goss to find some background on the mythic king. I have a thick volume about Celtic Myths and Legends by T.W. Rolleston, but wherever you go, what I read is all pretty much the same.

It is said that in Ancient Ireland, the Tuatha De Danaan contended with the Fir Bolg for possession of the land. During the first battle of Magh Tuiredh, a fight between heros ensued. Nuada, the king of the Tuatha De Danaan faced Sreng, the champion of the Fir Bolg. Even though Nuada lost his sword hand at the wrist, the Tuatha De Danaan were triumphant.

Dianchecht, the druid physician of the Tuatha De Denaan, prepared a bath of magical herbs and curative properties so that the wounded who were plunged into it would be made whole. However, the bath could not cure this king. In those days, it was required that a king be 'whole' in both body and mind, so despite being a much loved man, Nuada was forced to step down. The new king, Bres, brought much unhappiness to the people, so to solve the problem and restore rightness to the throne, Dianchecht fashioned a new arm for Nuada out of silver. It was as good as any other and therefore, he was fit to become king once again. Problem solved. This seems to be the basis of the story from what I have read.

In today's card, the subtitle is 'perfection' and I guess we are being asked to think about what that means to us. Nuada was chosen for this card because he knew only too well that one doesn't need to be perfect to be good at his job. In the accompanying guidebook to this deck, Demarco speaks about society's chase for perfection in the exterior and I think I can relate to that to some extent. I don't think I am opening my arms to age particularly well. I can appreciate the beauty of aging in others, but not in myself. A few more pounds on the waistline is not something I am used to, as I search desperately in the mirror for the boy of yesterday. It's funny how I was never happy with my looks ten years ago, or even ten years before that, but how I look back now and see them as a wasted kind-of-perfection lost in time. You never appreciate what you have got until it has gone, I suppose.

There seems to be a lot wrapped up in today's card - be it the loss of something, the gaining of something new, or all that sits in between. Nuada was a good leader, regardless of whether he had a hand or not. Maybe the same can be acknowledged in beauty and other aspects of life. I look at someone like Madonna and feel sad about the amount of plastic surgery she has had. She is starting to look like one of those puffed-up and frozen-faced weirdos you see buzzing about in Los Angeles, desperately chasing the years of youth now passed. I always thought she'd be the kind of woman who'd embrace maturity with .. well .. maturity. I thought she'd wave her lace glove at cosmetic surgery, as women like Twiggy and Barbara Winsor have (and don't they look great to have done so), but now, the stranger looking she becomes, the less we think about her talent and all she has achieved. If you want an example, look at what Joan Rivers has done to herself for Christ's sake! But who am I to comment, as I sit here, feeling like James Dean and looking more like E.T? Today's card has been a bit of a kick up the butt. What we lose in the physical, we probably gain in other ways. With those gardening skills, does it really matter how beautiful E.T was or wasn't?

There is a chill in the air today. I haven't seen my boyfriend in three days. His train was delayed last night, so by the time he got home, it was hardly worth him coming over. I am much more relaxed about those kind of things these days. In fact, it makes me look more forward to seeing him tonight. I am going over to Kate's later and he is going to join me there in the evening. A couple of other friends may be joining us at her little cottage for a few drinks and a catch-up. So aside from a house viewing to prepare for, I have little else to do. The couple from the weekend said our house is too small, so it looks as if they are a no-go, so lets hope our home is able to woo whoever is visiting this afternoon.


Illustration from The Gods and Titans Oracle by Jimmy Manton

Stalked

As you can see, the Gods and Titans arrived yesterday and have crawled onto my blog. I had been hoping that they'd come the day before and was restlessly waiting for the postman to arrive like a 5 year old on his birthday. While I was out yesterday, he must have stuffed them through the letterbox, since they were here when I returned.

This is a deck I have been waiting on for some time; mainly due to their not being much about like it. Even though I enjoy some of my more feminine decks, it is usually the ones with a more masculine edge that I look out for. From the oracles I own, I'd say one of my most favourite is the Mythic Oracle, which is probably due to it being less centred on the feminine. With a slight sprinkling of women in it, this deck is just about as 100% male as you are going to get. The gods and titans are strong, fearless, and raw. In fact, the deck is so unashamedly masculine that it actually has an air of homoerotism about it. As a gay man, this isn't a problem for me, but I wonder if it it's 36 loose pages of rippling muscles might be a little too in-your-face for the average straight man to feel comfortable with.

When I previously looked at the scans of these cards, many were too small to get a real idea of. Like many oracles and tarots, I wondered if they had been computer generated, but straight out of the pack and into the hand, you can see the strong brush strokes in each image. It has a painterly feel that I like. If I had to express any disappointment from my first impressions, it would be that there are only 36 cards and that the backs are a bit of a let down. They simply show the title of the set, which kind of cheapens the deal for me. Having said that, aside from maybe just one of the cards, there is nothing to dislike in the set and I am look forward to getting to know them that bit better. The book is interesting as a starting block, but I see myself trying to research or understand them a little further than it's pages.

Yesterday was nice. I got up early again and met my friends Charlotte and Kate in town. There is a pub by the station that serves cheap (but nice) breakfasts, so we all met there. They were best friends with each other through their school years but fell out of touch after their teens. As I have been in contact with both of them since then, they have now reunited as women and are rebuilding their friendship. As a trio, we get along well. Kate only had a few hours to play with yesterday as she had to go to work, but Charlotte and I did a little shopping and had a drink or two in the sun before parting ways and going home. I was meant to be seeing my boyfriend last night, but my stomach was still playing games, so I eventually cancelled and stayed at home. We chatted on the phone after I had napped for a bit and then I went through my new deck on the bed, reading a few of the interpretations from the book.

As I mentioned, there is one card amongst the Gods and Titans that I am not keen on, so I guess it is just sods law that it is the first one to turn up in my draws. The card is subtitled fear, which is hardly surprising because this guy gives me the heebie jeebies. I actually find it difficult to look at the illustration for too long, so he's doing his job well.

I have not heard of Ah Puch (pronounced 'ah PWaSH', according to a source on the internet) before, but I read that he is a god of death in Mayan religion and mythology. Mayans were much more fearful of death than other Mesoamerican cultures — Ah Puch was envisioned as a hunting figure that stalked the houses of people who were injured or sick. Mayans typically engaged in extreme, even loud mourning after the death of loved ones. It was believed that the loud wailing would scare Ah Puch away and prevent him from taking any more down to Mitnal with him. In the book that comes with this set (by Stacy Demarco), she states that these loud protestations were unnecessary in the light of the day. Because the card is about fear rather than death, she advises that we use this card as a flashlight to highlight what scares us and stand up to it. As well as interpretations and background on the gods, the book also holds invocations for each. For this one, it provides a ritual for banishing fear, using the symbol of the sun as a way to combat it.

It is no real shock that Ah Puch stalks me today. I didn't sleep well last night. My hands and arms ache, as do my bones, and my stomach is it's usual anti-social self. As always, I lay myself open to worry, which is when this god pounces. The history of Ah Puch is interesting because things always seem much more of a big deal in the night. Worries appear ten times as big and pain is twenty times as intense. What is it that my parents always used to say? - 'Things will seem better in the morning'. And as I sit here with my cappuccino, they kind of do. I am worried about my aches and pains, but should they get any worse, I will make an appointment to see my long-suffering doctor. That in itself would be a way of dealing with this god and confronting fear, as Demarco suggests. For today, I need only think about my personality and history of anxiety, as that sometimes pulls me into touch. I worried about my aches, pains and health ten years ago. And also for the ten years before that. It's what I do. I get things checked out, am relieved for five minutes, and then the fear of Ah Puch stalks me again.

I am not sure where today is going to take me. Unfortunately, my development day with my agency and fellow practitioners that was planned for next week has been cancelled, due to not enough people confirming their interest. I am kind of disappointed about this, since I thought it would be an opportunity to get myself reacquainted with those who could help me and set the ball rolling again for the next year. I sent off my cheque for £94 yesterday, so will be up to date with my checks. I am just hoping that it is not a waste of my much needed cash and that I do get some work soon.

Even though chilly out, the sun is shining through the trees and warming my spirit. The sun can be healing. Take that Ah Puch!


Illustration from The Gods and Titans Oracle by Jimmy Manton

Fighting Spirit

This card holds relevance in a couple of ways. It kind of reflects how I feel about a situation and also mirrors the person in it.

I got up bright and early this morning and took the train to Victoria. Rather than waste money on tubes, I exited the station at the back and walked over the bridge, down to Pimlico. It's quite nice around that area. Large white terraced houses, mainly hotels, line the roads with leafy trees in front of them. As Autumn approaches, I saw one single brown leaf dance in the wind and fall to the floor right in front of me as I walked the length of the long street. Yes, the seasons are beginning to turn.

I met my two friends outside of a station and we walked to see the third friend, who lives near by. She was recently diagnosed with cancer, so we came armed with lunch and flowers. She has a lovely first floor flat, but due to not being able to walk now, has been unable to get out so much. Her carer has been taking her out on her crutches for what she calls 'walkies' when they can, but she is still getting used to them and has only just returned from her spell in hospital. I can't believe all of this has happened so seemingly quickly. She and I were working together only a few months ago; zipping about in her sports car (which she will now have to sell) and going for lunch by the river. She had a special bed delivered while we were there, along with a lift for the bath and a walking frame. Hearing that the cancer is terminal kind of pulled the three of us into the reality of the situation. One of my friends grabbed hold of me in the bedroom for a hug, saying she was so shocked by what we were witnessing.

So today's card makes obvious sense. Yes, I do feel melancholy. As much as it was nice to be with my friends and see how positive our hostess's spirit still is despite the odds, the seriousness of the situation was a lot to take in. On my train journey home, I replied to a message from my boyfriend, who had asked how my friend was. It was almost impossible to not well up as I wrote back, and as I am now. I do know that my feeling sad won't do her any good. We need to lend her all the strength that we can and told her we will visit again soon.

When I got home and looked at today's card again, I saw my friend sitting in her new walking frame. It's on wheels and has a seat that you can use to rest on while you are out. That's her in the picture, taking a moment out, before carrying on with her fight. At 58, she is a very energetic and enthusiastic woman. Prior to this, she was jetting from one end of the country to another, directing theatre productions, working with disadvantaged children and voluntarily coaching the elderly, who she was in the process of putting on a play with (one of the leading ladies is 85!). Apparently, the doctors say she is recovering from the treatment well, since she could have been paralysed by all she has been through. I put this down to her fighting spirit. While standing at the door, she mentioned something about hoping to last another few years. It jolted through me like a punch in the stomach, but I'd say that if anyone can exceed expectations, she can.



Illustrations from the Sibilla della Zingara

The River that Runs into the Future

So this chap has made it into the draw again for the second day in a row. He must have something he wants to say and he looks like the kind of fella who wouldn't have much trouble in telling me either. What I notice first is that the bird seems to be in an advantageous position. He's up high, which I imagine is good for spotting his prey. He can see for miles, so probably has a good idea of the bigger picture. When translated, this could mean that I will soon be in a position to see things more clearly and look further into the future than maybe I have been recently.

The bird doesn't look too happy. Maybe he has realised that even from this height, he cannot see too much waiting for him on the horizon. Is this the point of today's reading? As the days pass, my confidence is lowering regarding work and part of me wonders how much longer I should hold off before seeking benefit again. Of course, I don't want to, which is why I have supported myself for the last few months without employment or the help of the government, but that money will only last for a certain amount of time and it is running down. I was hoping that things might have kick started by now. I never received a reply back from the guy at the School of Doom, who had suggested there might be more work for me this term. I am seeing my two practitioner friends tomorrow, since we are visiting our friend who is ill with cancer. One of them is my old mate and agent, so I am hoping that she might shed some light on that specific job and that the two of them may have some news about the new agency they were talking about setting up. At the moment, I can see the river that runs into the future, but it is obscured. I am hoping that the clouds will soon clear for me to fly to my next location soon.

A lot of people have expressed disappointment in these courts, since they are animals rather than human, but I actually find them easier to connect to; this might be because a human in a card can sometimes limit me to the kind of people he or she reminds me of physically. These courts cut through physical attributes, age and gender. I could see my boyfriend and I in the last two day's cards far better than through the eyes of other tarot decks I have used. They seem to hold personality more effectively.

My mum just passed my room and told me that our estate agent had called. I didn't tell you about the couple from the weekend, did I? Well, they were a little on the strange side. Even though very nice and polite, they certainly wouldn't look out of place living next door to Oddbod. Apparently, they went to see two houses after ours. The agent said they liked all three, but our properly is the cheapest. Is this what the card is showing? That the clouds in the picture are beginning to disperse, so that we can see the river's destination that bit better? Or does it have anything to do with the card's traditional meaning of movement and change? My mother asked what the cards looked like today. Of course, this one has something to say. In fact, it was possibly trying to tell me about all of this yesterday. I am hoping that the hawk (or Knight of Arrows) concerns a final clearing of doubt. I want to see what's behind the cloud and where that river ends up.

Like many, I usually dread court cards turning up, but these have been far more talkative than most. There is a lot in them. I think they have actually unlocked the Wildwood for me and helped me to find a back door into to the forest. I keep going back and looking at that picture of the hawk, wondering if there are any clues I have missed. I'd say that the key is in the cloud, which definitely seems to be on the move, so for today, I'd say that the card is all about being able to get a better and clearer look at a situation. However, I just pulled the Druid Animal Oracle from my bookshelf. Since it is also illustrated by Worthington, I wondered if the creators of that deck (Phillip & Stephanie Carr-Gomm) have anything more to say about the hawk, which also rests within their illustrations. This one is a Merlin. It doesn't actually say which kind of hawk the one in the Wildwood is. It would seem that the two birds have a similar agenda, being able to look at life in perspective. One thing that I do notice about the one from the Wildwood is that he is looking behind, rather than to where the river flows. I think this shows the importance of where we have been, as much as to where we are going, but I do wonder if it is a dwelling on past failures that has produced the fog and doubt in my present.




Illustration from The Wildwood Tarot and The Druid Animal Oracle by Will Worthington

My Refection

If yesterday's card was my boyfriend, then I see myself in today's. The hawk in this one has a stern face on it. I woke up in a bit of a mood and couldn't see much further than it at the time. Even though I had been going on about needing some quiet weekends, I wanted to do more than stick around at home today. My boyfriend didn't. Of course, I shouldn't be spending money unnecessarily at the moment but it didn't stop me from sitting up on my branch with the pointy and spiky face of this bird. I think this is the face that my boyfriend says I have when I don't get my own way. The card can be about insight, so I guess it has already done it's job by showing me my reflection.

I eventually came down off of my branch and began to do some stuff. Doing things often helps fight this kind of hot air from building up inside of me any further and I eventually calm down. I have been meaning to do some examples for a new project proposal, but so far, hadn't got around to it. It is an idea based on the popular Storyworld cards by John and Caitlín Matthews, where I thought kids in schools could make A4 collages, based around different elements of a story - things such as 'The Haunted House', 'The Evil Grandmother', or 'The Friend'. It's kind of like an oracle, but is a tool for children to swap about and use as a springboard for storytelling. Taking it a step further, I thought that they might be encouraged to act out their stories in the afternoon session. I made one card today as an example, called 'The Prince of the Many Kittens'. I then spent time cutting out different figures, animals and buildings to put in a paper file. I have noticed that not all kids are good at cutting, so thought it might be good to have collage components prepared for the possibility of running these workshops.

Even though I shouldn't be parting with any cash, I did manage to find my way to Amazon this morning. I have been looking at a specific oracle deck for months now and still haven't bought it. I looked for it in London twice, but it wasn't there. I don't know why I have left it so long before ordering it online. It is called the Gods and Titans Oracle. I received an email to say that it has shipped already so hopefully it should be with me in a couple of days.



Illustration from The Wildwood Tarot by Will Worthington

His Own Way

I thought I might give the Wildwood another try today. I have not used it much since I got it. Well, to be honest, I have hardly taken it out of it's box. There was just something about it that didn't sit right with me. I can't imagine what it is, since I think the artwork is lovely. As well as that, I have no favouring for or interest in the Greenwood, which seems to be the main reason why many take issue with it.

When I scan cards in for this blog, I like to leave them up on the screen for a bit, enlarged, so that I can see them better. It makes a difference with card's like today's, since I can look right into the eye of the horse. Being a prehistoric and extinct breed, he looks that little bit more clumsy in both movement and style than those we are used to; more rounded and wild than the kind of sleek animals we see today. He's independent, which sits well with me when I think of the Knight of Stones. There's nothing too fancy about him. He's just getting on with what he wants to. What he lacks in being fancy, he makes up for by being practical. He's solid and sturdy, but at times, can be stubborn as a mule. Gee, he sounds like my boyfriend, who I have often compared this tarot court to in the last couple of years.

Right now, the boyfriend is at home. He went out for a drink with work last night and called me at 1am when he got in. I am guessing that he is sleeping the night off now. I know him well enough to know that he'll be over when he gets here; there's no point in rushing him or trying to guide him the way I'd wish. Like this animal, he goes his own way, in his own time. Yup, I think that this Knight of Stones is definitely him today. He'll trot over here eventually. He doesn't like being rushed.

I spent last night in alone. As well as my boyfriend being out, my parents were too. I did think about phoning a friend and suggesting meeting up, but what with the £94 bill for my CRB check waiting to be signed off, I thought I'd best stay in and hold on to my cash. Besides, I had had a lovely lunch in the garden with Clare earlier in the day, so it was nice to spend some time by myself with a cup of Carte Noir and a book last night.

With my boyfriend at his house, I got up and drove to a couple of boot fairs with my parents this morning. The first was sabotaged by the rain, so all of the traders were packing up when we got there, even though it was early. In short, it was a wash out, with little to look at. The second was in a hall and had some interesting (and thankfully, dry) stuff on show. There is one thing worse than seeing no tarot decks in a place like that - seeing tarot decks that you've already got. I saw a couple of copies of the Jonathan Dee and Shirley Barker pack, the naff Royal Tarot, and the Tarot Nova. There was one other Lo Scarabeo set there which I didn't have - an oracle called Angel Voices, illustrated by Laura Tuan. It was open, so I flipped through. It says something about a deck if I have to put it back on the traders table without looking through each and every card. This one was flat and lacking, and each of the 80-odd angels looked similar to one another in their lifelessness. It was kind of disappointing to have to pass up a deck, but I knew I'd never use it.

I have just finished tidying my room for a viewing later this afternoon. While in the market this morning, I found some extremely cheap (but nice) black cushion covers with a flock floral design on that compliments the bedhead I covered recently. After yesterday's card, this inpromptu visit raises my eyebrows. Is this what we needed to be prepared for? If so, I think we're ready.


Illustration from The Wildwood Tarot by Will Worthington

One More for the Road

As I sit here, I can hear Dumb and Dumber next door. It would seem that when Oddbod goes to work at the local supermarket, her husband, Pig, throws them out into the garden. He wants to play his war games on the computer and probably doesn't fancy being disturbed by his vile offspring, so he leaves them to their own devices. As with yesterday, they are rolling around on top of each other, grabbing at each other's clothes, and wrestling. That is pretty much all that they do and have ever done; most probably copied from what they witness on their father's X-Box. I have all of the windows closed but can hear their yelps, screams, and hollers as they fight. The takeaway pizza man made his fifth visit to their door this week an hour or so ago. They are probably buzzing from all of the fizzy drinks that came with their 'dinner'. The noise they are making is going right through me.

Ironically, I decided to pull another card to see how things were going with our move. Once again, everything has ground to a halt. Can you believe that it has been over two years that we have been trying to escape from these cretins next door? A viewer came last week with his parents, but it seemed that the parents liked the house more than he did.

But what is this? Preparedness? A warrior of some kind sits upon a bull and appears to be ready for action. My first thought was that we need to be prepared for an offer. The guy is facing ahead and looks ready to go. I am not sure if we could be any more prepared, since we have decorated and dressed the house to it's best, and with the racket that those idiots are making next door, we emotionally moved out of our home a long time ago. But this card could regard more viewings and the potential of a sale. I understand that the dates at the bottom are astrological references, but I can't help wondering if that second week in November will have any relevance.

I think that this card runs deeper than just an offer. We have only received one offer in the two years that our house has been on the market and that fell through, since the buyer could not get a mortgage. We lost the lovely house we were meant to be buying and a few thousand pounds went with it. With that in mind, being prepared might revolve around checking things out before spending any cash or getting our hopes up. My parents loved the spacious bungalow they had settled an offer on. I still think about it sometimes, so I am sure that they probably do as well.

This card feels good to me, despite the caution it suggests we maintain. It makes me feel as though things will soon begin to start happening and moving forward. I am mostly interested by the date at the bottom. It feels important. Whether we are in the process of a sale or not in a couple of month's time, I will pay close attention to that second week of Novemeber.


Illustration from The Runic Tarot by Caroline Smith and John Astrop

Virtual Neighbours

I have had The Runic Tarot in the drawer for some time; for probably about a few years, I'd say. I bought it for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I adored the artwork; it's bright, bold, primitive, and original. Secondly, the set was ridiculously cheap. I have meant to pull it out and have a go at using it for some time but have failed to do so until now, so this is the deck I thought I'd choose to work with this morning.

The Runic Tarot has a bit of a different layout to standard tarot, with no courts and only a very vague simularity in structure. This is a problem for some. I think I remember reading about problems via a public forum when I first got it; something about the creators playing about with the elements. I can not remember the details, but there is a solution to all of that; work with the beautiful pictures, listen to the insightful keywords, and it should work like any other deck, regardless of what the book says. This is what I intend to do. I might take a look at the manual to get an idea of what the images are based upon, but as far as elements and astrology goes, I have no plans to voluntarily wade into the quicksand.

Today's card is Man, which relates to the twentieth rune Mannaz. From what I can tell on a quick jump around the internet, this is a card of community, which spreads it's long and bony fingers far and wide. I guess you could liken it to the web, where we can connect with one another more easily, regardless of distance. Here's two people in the card; alike, but different, coming together.

It's funny how the internet has become such a big part of our lives. It's almost difficult to remember a time before it, even though I do remember the exact time that it became part of mine. It was around 1998. I didn't have it at home then, but when I was made redundant from my job, there was a PC set up with the internet upstairs at work, where they allowed us to go and search for jobs. It was like a portal to another world, or indeed, to the rest of the world I live in. I didn't get my own computer or the internet until a year or so after that. Now, I own three computers, my Blackberry pipes up when I have an email, and even my father is downstairs indulging in the wonders of iPlayer. I find it hard to remember what we were all doing before the internet gatecrashed our lives?

It is a luxury to talk with those who have the same interests as myself, which is one of the main reasons why I do enjoy the internet. You could think of today's card as a depiction of the small blogging community I reach out amongst, dipping in here and there to read posts and make comments. I didn't like the large forum community of my past and I eventually ran and hid from the clutches of Facebook, but what I have now is a handpicked and respectful bunch of internet neighbours, who happily drop in for virtual tea and a chat. I have been lucky enough to meet some of them - from Greg in Australia to Shaheen in Ohio. Our paths may never have crossed if it wasn't for the spirit of today's card.

I have to get myself ready in a bit, since I am spending the day with my friend Claire. We are not doing anything expensive; we'll probably just have a chat round at hers or go for a walk. Once again, I kind of hoped that today's card would be a link to those in the larger circles of employment. I see it as extension and the chance of linking with a group or wider organisation. As I wait for responses to applications, it's hard not to think of the cards in that light. You never know, there is always the chance that I will hear something before the end of the day. However, the card could very well have something to do with my friend who was diagnosed with cancer recently. Still unable to walk, she is in a wheelchair and two of my friends and I have planned to visit her next week. One of them just called to sort where we will meet, so maybe this is part of the wider community, reaching out to help one of our group who is in need.


Illustration from The Runic Tarot by Caroline Smith and John Astrop

Success, Warmth, and Fulfillment

Most readers regard this as a good card. It's one of the 78 which is so abundantly wonderful that there is actually very little to say about it. I kind of hate it when The Sun falls into readings, because aside from spewing out the same old usual and empty keywords (such as 'success', 'warmth' and 'fulfillment'), there isn't much to follow them up with. It's quite a nice card for the person having the reading to receive, but finding something in it for the reader to talk about is not easy.

I find that there is always so much more to glean from the darker cards. The Sun sort of reminds me of how I always felt about Tori Amos. When she was miserable, her music was dark, haunting, melodic, and beautiful. Precious Things is one of my all-time favourite songs. But when she was happy, well she was .. to be frank .. dull. Listen to Concertina if you don't believe me. Some of the most inspiring love songs revolve around unrequited love. Don't get me wrong, for I'd far rather receive this sunny gal and the little chap on her lap than a date with the thorny 10 of Swords.

This faerie may have a nice spot in the garden, but as far as things go today, she has dictated little more than the weather, which quickly grew from an early September chill to a warm Thursday morning. I got off of my train and dawdled about for half an hour before meeting Charlotte at 9. We had breakfast and then sauntered around the shops for a couple of hours. When I drew this card, I was hoping that it would bring good news or success within work or my applications, but as with previous cards, it has not.


Manipulated illustration from The Mystic Faerie Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

Watching the Bubbles

Here we have the Knave (or Page) of Cups. When I pulled her out, with her fair hair and sweet smile, she reminded me of my friend's daughter, Isis. The little mergirl sits on her lily pad, content, but might be unaware of any dangers that lurk within the depths of the pond. This is due to her age and naivety. Regardless of how old we are, we can all throw ourselves into situations that can potentially hurt us or which test our emotional strength. With this as my card for today, it may suggest emotional weakness, naivety, or a message that tugs at the heart-strings, whether good or bad. I sometimes see the knave as representing someone who's personality holds these features, whether young or old. As I sit here, I can think of a few candidates already.

Wednesdays are funny days for me. Probably because I have to think about going over to my boyfriends and have to get myself ready for that. It's like this morning. I had an idea for a workshop a while ago and thought I would make some examples to send to my agency, but I am still sitting here, finding anything else I can to do, rather than going off and doing some preparation. Maybe this is the immature side of me, who wants to play and take no responsibility while everyone else is out working. Is something likely to be lurking beneath my lily pad, waiting to launch itself in my direction and bite me on the bum? If there is a chance of my getting that job in the referral centre, then I will need to hit the ground running. Some thinking in advance might be required and I should do that sooner than later, regardless of how nice it is, sitting here in the sunshine, watching the bubbles float by.



Manipulated illustration from The Mystic Faerie Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

Pass it On

This is an interesting card to receive today. The faerie in the illustration for the 8 of Pentacles shows two mice how she weaves baskets. In turn, they use the skills they have learned in the building of their nests. This is the card of the apprentice, but it also makes me think of myself as the teacher, passing on the things I know to others for the first time.

My agent wrote to me today, requesting that I update my Criminal Record Bureau check as it was issued three years ago and I need it to keep going. That's another £80 to fork out. I asked her if I could renew it when work comes in, but she said I need it to be up to date so that I can stay on their books. She said I am in the running for at least one project they are planning, so it would be a good idea for me to do it as soon as possible, as it takes a while to process. Even though I could do without spending the money right now, it was kind of encouraging to hear that work may be coming my way. I guess that my application for the referral unit must have gone down better than I thought, even though what she has said does not confirm my actually securing the job.

My friend and I went out for a quick run this morning. It's been ages since we have done that, and afterwards, we had a coffee and I helped her with some computer graphic problems she was having. I suppose that you can see us doing that in today's illustration too. That's Sarah on the right, leaning forward and learning how to float a logo into Adobe Illustrator without it's background.

My boyfriend didn't come over this evening as it is his mother's birthday. I didn't realise that the whole family were going over there, so I stayed home. To be honest, I need a bit of me time, since I have been in their pockets since last Thursday and need to relax out of the weekend. I spoke to her on the phone, wished her a Happy Birthday, and I don't think she was offended by my absense. Besides, I will be seeing her tomorrow evening for dinner as I do every Wednesday.


Manipulated illustration from The Mystic Faerie Tarot by Linda Ravenscroft

6 More ...

And I found some hours to put these ones together too. The 9 of Swords does have a look of the traditional 10 of Swords about it so I will see how I go with that. The great thing about this deck is that it progresses. If I don't like a card, I can change it, meaning I can retire old ones and design new ones easily. Makes the project on-going and fluid. All of these cards feature people from my life at different times.


Image from The Photographic Tarot by Prince Le Normand

Still Going ...

I'm still making my Photographic Tarot. I have just printed and laminated the 13 cards I have already designed and I am happy with how they look. I especially like my new Page of Wands.

Image from The Photographic Tarot by Prince Le Normand

Drive

I often think of the ace's as opportunities. When I see of the Ace of Crosses (earth), I think of the opportunity and gift of finance or possibly a boost of health. It does not necessarily represent a large injection of money; it might be a small amount, which allows us to make more money of our own. Maybe it could also be about professional guidance. In terms of today's card, the Ace of Masks (fire), the opportunity regards inspiration and drive. I'd hope that this card brings about the start of something exciting; a new adventure.

My boyfriend has today off, so I keep forgetting that it is a Monday. After our long weekend, we have kept today simple, choosing to shop locally for his parent's birthday presents. I was really hoping that the Ace of Masks would bring about news of either of the jobs I applied for, but it hasn't. With The Fool arriving yesterday, maybe they are more about preparation and the getting ready for something new, rather than a message, as I thought this one might be today.

My parents are downstairs dozing. My mother has had problems with her leg for a while, which I think is sciatica. She finds it very painful in the morning and screws her face up as she tries to get down the stairs. My father was quite violently sick last night and went to lay on the sofa afterwards, where he is again now. This has happened before, not so long ago, and I must confess that their health does worry me.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot and Set Me Free by Victoria Frances

On a Shoestring

As I write, I am currently bombing through the countryside on my way back from Portsmouth with my boyfriend, his sister, and her husband. The sun is shining and Adele is warbling in the background on the stereo. Not surprisingly, my boyfriend and his sister are sleeping; we've had a pretty full-on few days since Thursday. We kicked off the long weekend with a night out for my boyfriend's parent's 40th wedding anniversary. Because all immediate family were invited, they hired a small coach to drive us to the restaurant, which was out in the middle of nowhere. Even though expensive, I could understand why they chose it, since the food was good and the guys who run it are very friendly and welcoming. We took the five grandchildren, who were all under 10 and very well behaved. In fact, I think they made less noise than the adults.

The next day, we got ready for Portsmouth and drove down in the afternoon. I slept for most of the two hour drive, so the journey seemed to go pretty quickly to me. We arrived at a quirky little hotel, which was once again in the middle of nowhere. We had my boyfriend's 85 year old nan with us and met his aunt and uncle there. The hotel was a strange concoction of oldy-worldy nicknacks and brash black and white photography, but it was charming and somehow worked together well. Every inch of wall space was filled with paintings or photographs; mainly actors and actresses, which we spent a while trying to identify. We sat outside until it got a little chilly and then went to my boyfriend's aunt's room for champagne before sitting down to dinner in the restaurant. I was a little apprehensive about being away for a few days but once we had checked in I soon relaxed. It seemed that my boyfriend and I had the biggest room with the swishest of bathrooms. I am not usually used to spotlights around the toilet.

The wedding took a good eight hours to warm up yesterday. To be honest, weddings are not my favourite of things and I'd say that this one had many of my least favourite components - a really long church service, lots of waiting about in between each part of the day, and the longest selection of after-dinner speeches I've ever sat through. They probably weren't any longer than most but they rated pretty damn heavily on the scales of boredom. The father of the bride is the kind of guy you wouldn't want to get stuck in a lift with; interesting or mildly amusing, he was not. He said that he has a nickname for everyone he meets. By the end of his twenty-odd minute speech, we had a few for him.

Luckily, we were on a table with some really nice people; a lady with her partner, her two twenty-something year old sons and their girlfriends. We stood outside with the sons and their partners for most of the evening and they kind of made the reception for us. The majority of the other guests were barristers, doctors, and lawyers. I spoke to a few people but generally, I was glad that we'd been put on a table with the other six, since they were more down to earth and had a good sense of humour. Held in a grand old hall in the middle of the countryside, I dread to think how much the wedding cost. I do know, however, that my wallet is looking far emptier than it was three days ago, after paying for two nights in the hotel, two pricey meals and many rounds at the bar. We have had a nice time though, so I guess you can't put a price on that. I really feel as though I am part of my boyfriend's family now. I tune in with his sister and her husband really well and the four of us have laughed a lot over the weekend.

So now, our social rampage is just about over. We have a few small family things to attend, such as birthday gatherings for the kiddies, but aside from that, I think we have flexed our social and financial muscles enough for the time being. I've stupidly said I'd go to a friend's birthday party in October without checking the dates first; I have only just realised that it falls on the same day as a party I'd already committed myself to. I really should check the calendar more often. I am hoping that my friend will not be upset that we can't make her do. I hate having to let people down.

I have once again reminded my boyfriend that I don't want to do anything for a good month or so, as we have already started to receive messages about drinks out and yet another bloody wedding. I really intend to stick to my guns on this one though; at least for October and November. I am sure that some noses will be put out of joint, but I'd rather that than go poor to keep everyone else happy. The Fool (or Little Sacha as I like to call him) marks a new start or adventure. In this case, the adventure that Sacha takes me on will have to be on a shoestring.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot and Set Me Free by Victoria Frances