The Last Goodbye

Good old Ezequiel hits my draws again. As the King of Butterflies, he represented our solicitor last time and I wonder if that is where he sits once again today. It would not be unusual for him to make an appearance either over the phone or through the mail. I am not the first person to liken this king to a solicitor.

Today is a big day, which is why I am writing here so early. I need to get ready for my appointment with with the people at the chronic fatigue centre. It is important to me, because I have felt totally unsupported over the last year. My doctors have not known how to progress with how I have been feeling and can't offer me anything more than what they have already. I need to convince this consultant that I need further help.

After my appointment, I will be off to Julie's funeral. Of course, I am not looking forward to this at all. I am worried about how my boyfriend will handle his readings and am sad that I won't be with him for the service. On top of that, I sometimes find it difficult to know how to behave amongst such a large outpouring of grief, which I am sure this will be. Selfishly, I am hoping that once the hard bits are out of the way, people will find a way to try to relax and celebrate Julie's life. That is how it has been at the many funerals I have attended, even when the person who passed was as young as she was.

With little else to say right now, I'll leave you with one of the readings from the Old Testament that my boyfriend will read and hope you'll raise either a glass or your cup of coffee to his lovely aunt.


The souls of the virtuous are in the hands of God,
no torment shall ever touch them.
In the eyes of the unwise they did appear to die,
their going looked like a disaster,
their leaving us, like annihilation;
but they are in peace.
If they experienced punishment as men see it,
their hope was rich with immortality;
slight was their affliction, great will their blessings be,
God has put them to the test and proved them worthy to be with him;
he has tested them like gold in a furnace,
and accepted them as a holocaust.
They who trusted in him will understand the truth,
those who are faithful will live with him in love,
for grace and mercy await those he has chosen.

from The Book of Wisdom 3: 1-6.9



Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The Accusation

My boyfriend and I jetted off in the car to Surrey yesterday afternoon to see my friend and her husband. It's always such a settling and relaxing experience to spend time with them. On our drive down, my boyfriend and I remembered how much we had enjoyed going to the local pub with them before, but thought that since my friend is expecting a baby in a few months that it would probably be out of the question. On arriving, they suggested we all take a slow walk to the same place for a drink. The four of us (plus bump) wandered up there and found ourselves a table. The pub had been decorated for Halloween and I think the bar staff had been having their own private celebration as they all appeared a little tipsy. Like the other week, I resisted alcohol and drank fizzy water instead. I don't seem to have lost any more pounds, but I am keeping on with the fight and it didn't make much of a difference to the evening. My friend wasn't drinking and the 'boys' only had a couple.

We stayed overnight and returned here this afternoon. While at my friend's, I pulled today's card, the 7 of Butterflies. Thinking of the traditional interpretation of this card, I see an interesting visual in this image. I have never trusted this card, so I sense some kind of deception, infidelity or disloyalty in the central, large insect. It flaps it's wings and the other's follow it. This makes me think of gossip or bad-mouthing. This is often one of those cards which speaks of things we don't yet know, so I wouldn't be surprised if people are talking about me behind my back or circulating some kind of lies. It could have something to do with my boyfriend, since someone has accused him of saying something about a work colleague which he hasn't. He is not a gossipy kind of bloke, so I think that this accusation, from someone who should have known better, has hurt him.

We are both tired today. I think we need a good sleep, for we have a big day looming tomorrow. I have my chronic fatigue appointment early in the morning, and then have to hot-foot it over to where he is to attend what I can of Julie's funeral.


Illustration from The Favole by Victoria Frances

Dot-to-Dot Tarot

Now this is interesting. For many years, I associated the 2 of Cups with one particular friend. She is like my sister and I have known her for thirty-six years. In the past, whenever that card showed up, I either seemed to get a phone call from her or we had arranged to meet the same day. We have been good friends for all of that time, but in the last few years, our contact has lessened. This is probably due to her being pregnant at the moment and me having been tired with my fatigue. It was nice to see the 2 of Flowers (The Favole's variant of the same card) come up today, since we are going to see my friend and her husband this afternoon.

The 2 of Flowers is a card of emotional connection. The two black roses which sit in the centre of this card are the same. They are turned to face one another, so each can see their similarities. Even though I sometimes interpret this card as the beginning of new relationships, it is often just simple friendship that it denotes. Those two flowers have found something in common as they feel the presence of each other in the card.

My boyfriend and I drove over to my friend's last night. I wanted her help with something, so after that, we had some tea and chatted with her and her new boyfriend for a couple of hours. It was a quiet evening, sitting in her kitchen, which we enjoyed. They had a few drinks, but my boyfriend and I stuck with the chai, driving home around 11. When I got in, I sat on my netbook for a while, finding my way into a forum. I was interested to see that The Favole was mentioned, so clicked in to see what was being discussed. The thread mentioned that the Italian publisher Lo Scarabeo have taken on the distribution of the deck now and the questioner was asking if any changes might be made. Even though I like the dinky size, I can see why a larger and more standard sized deck might be desirable. Even though one poster suggested that there wouldn't be any changes, the remainder of entries centred around how gorgeous but unreadable the deck is. Some say that they traded The Favole because they couldn't read with it and one said that it houses made-up suits which have "nothing to do with tarot" (excuse me while I take a big yawn).

There are many decks out there which have turned the suits on their head or have renamed them, but people very rarely get this uppity; usually, because they have an accompanying handbook to spoon feed them through their journey. How many people wish to read with playing cards? From my memory, nearly every system views the 52 cards differently, especially regarding the suit elements. Nobody seems to give a fig about that, but if you make a slight alteration to the Rider Waite pattern, a deck becomes a no-go. I wonder if anyone has considered using their initiative and simply reading a deck as they find it. Tarot is what you make it. Is it that hard to find and design your own system or do we prefer dot-to-dot drawing and riding bikes without ever taking off the training wheels? One of the most beautiful decks I have is Lo Scarabeo's Tarot of Reincarnation; a world filled with animals, which of course, the majority have deemed unreadable. I think this is such a shame, since researching the creatures in the deck can be so much fun and often enlightening. I find that my interpretations often end up leading back to tradition, but there is so much else in them to find by our selves. I hope that my readings with The Favole hear have a hand in proving that this is so.

Illustration from the 'unreadible' Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The Son of Breath

I was happy to see this card because I like Abel. It doesn't really bother me that some of the characters have been duplicated in The Favole Tarot, which it does in other packs. I sense that this bloke, although a vampire, is one of the good guys. He has a presence, but it sits in the shadows of Ezequiel in the trilogy. There is something softer about him. As the King of Crosses (earth), he might be someone connected to finance, business, or property in my day. With a smile like that, I think he could sell me or convince me of just about anything.


"This amulet will show you the way to salvation, that has until now been hidden in your eternal punishment. From tonight, your true destiny starts, Favole. And open your eyes to a new life ..." - Abel


Since I have become so entrenched in this deck, I thought it might be useful for anyone reading this blog to gain a brief idea of what the story is behind it. Despite the title of the trilogy, the books are based around Ezequiel. Even though a vampire, he resisted biting Favole on meeting her, due to not wanting her soul to be restless. She has the same feelings for him, wishing for them to live side by side, so when denied, she took herself away and threw herself into the ocean. I think that this might very well be the image of Favole drowning that we see in the Death card. She therefore lives as a fairy of sorts, in the world of the ghosts. She continues to search for her love but there is an invisible wall between the two of them which cannot be penetrated. At some point in the story, she meets Abel, whose mother was one of Ezequiel's many victims. He gives her an amulet (The Necross, shown in the earth suit of this tarot), which shines when her deliverance is close. She eventually makes her way to Ezequiel, who chooses to plunges a stake through his own own heart, leaving them able to walk away from the story with the little angel Sacha and live (if that is the right word) happily ever after.

The name Abel is of Hebrew origin and means 'son of breath'. Biblically, it apparently suggests a city in mourning. Since this Abel mourns the death of his Rumanian mother, the meaning of his name appears significant. With the amulet around his neck, he holds the key to earthly success, which he gives to Favole. Even though the card could be connected to a stability within me and my family, he most likely represents someone who can provide us with it or guide us to that which we need.

As afternoon has begun, I have yet to come into contact with my Abel. At first, I thought that he might be the fashion agent's client, but since sending her my work samples at 9.30 yesterday morning, she has not responded; not even to say thank you. By now, I have learnt to expect no more from agencies. If she is interested, today's card could still represent the client perusing my work, even though I have yet to receive any notification of this. Sometimes, the tarot will show us more than we can see with our physical eyes, which is kind of the point. It just appears confusing because we know no better than that which we can acknowledge through our physical senses. Abel as the King of Crosses would be a good example of such a client because that person could easily affect me with his wealth and prospects. He holds a Necross, connected to possible financial benefits and security.

I don't feel so wonderful today. I have things I need to do and am putting off. I have things I want to do, but starting them (or indeed finishing them) exhausts me, even in thought. If I would allow myself, I could easily sleep away the remainder of the day.



Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Walking the Walk

I am building quite a good little relationship with that Ace of Butterflies. I had questioned if the communication or information offered by the insect had already occurred yesterday morning, but part of me believed it was still yet to come through. You know what it is like; you just get that feeling. I had a lovely afternoon with my friend. We went to a country pub for a coffee and then back to hers for a few hours. While there, I received a call from a woman I didn't know. She was ringing from an agency, asking whether I would be interested in some freelance work. As the call came through, I knew that it was what yesterday's single butterfly had brought, since it was so out of the blue. As you know, I am not fond of agencies, so I am not really holding out for much, but I sent samples of my work to her this morning all the same.

My boyfriend and I visited Julie's husband and kids last night. Even though they were obviously broken inside, they were keeping up brave faces and seemed to be coping well in the light of what has happened. I explained to my boyfriend's uncle about Monday and he told me not to rush myself at my appointment and to come to the crematorium, rather than the service. This put my mind at rest. We looked at the Order of Service, which had been designed beautifully, and my boyfriend got a copy of the two readings he has to read on the day. He had a dream last night; in it, he was undressed in front of friends and family. I guess this is his subconscious showing his understandable nerves.

Hidden behind my seat, I pulled today's card on the train this morning. It is Strength, showing a vampiress. I found this card kind of interesting. Usually, the Strength card shows a beautiful woman and a beast of some kind; traditionally, a lion. In a lot of decks, she is taming him and he represents her more primal desires. So where is the animal in this set? From looking at the card on the train, I saw him in her fangs. This woman has been taken over by her desires. She becomes both beauty and the beast, all rolled into one. Is it possible for her to tame her needs as a vampire, for the sake of who she is as a mortal human?

Thinking about this, I asked myself what I needed to suppress or confront. Of course, I first thought of my diet. While ordering a coffee at the station cafe, the lady asked if I would like a bacon roll or some pastries to go with it. Obviously, I said no, but boy oh boy, did that bacon roll look good. However, I think that this card has more to do with laziness. I talk the talk a lot, but sometimes, I am not so good at walking the walk. Big plans often go awry and become lost beneath sleep or things I would rather spend time doing. I need to watch that today.

My walk home from the station was not my best. That hill stole my energy again, as I walked up it at a snail's pace. I am so glad that I have my appointment on Monday. As I walked, I thought about the woman in the Strength card. I realised that as well as thinking about my laziness, I was also having to overcome my lack of physical strength by way of will and perseverance.

Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The Pick-Me-Up

It is kind of strange to receive this butterfly again. It's like having a friend or angel looking down on me, as it continues to bring notice and information from out of thin air. I love some of the snowy landscapes in this deck. In this instance, it kind of gives the insect some zing; like the turning on of a light or the moment we get an idea.

Sometimes, the card brings news, but I also see it as an indication that I need to seek things out for myself. It's kind of telling me that the information is ready for retrieval. My laptop has been in the repairs for two weeks. It wasn't turning on properly and I thought I should get it checked out. Thinking about this butterfly, I got on the phone to Argos this morning. Not that I got far, because I waited for nine minutes and then ended up hanging up when nobody answered. With no other option, I walked to the store. The young guy on the Customer Services booth was very friendly but said it looked as though they didn't have any information just yet. After talking to his manager (since I had been waiting for longer than the ten days suggested), it turned out that my machine was sitting on a shelf at the back of the counter. Good news? Well, not exactly, since the repairers had said there was nothing wrong with it. In other words, I have been without it for two weeks for no reason, as they haven't repaired it. I am writing on it now, since my desktop computer had a fit this morning and did it's usual - bleeping at me like a psychotic budgerigar, before refusing to turn on. As always, I have got to leave it for a day, since that is how long it usually takes for it to get over it's tantrum. Modern technology, eh?

I am not sure if the Ace of Butterflies is due to bring any new information to my door. We have heard that a surveyor is coming to look at our house for our buyers, so it might represent that. Or it could have something to do with the lady from the Chronic Fatigue Centre, who called again after thinking about my situation, and shifted my appointment half an hour forward. I am still not entirely sure that it will help, but I appreciated the thought. I feel a little dazed, generally. I think that my walk to the doctors and Argos set that ball rolling. My friend is picking me up in a short while to take me out for a coffee. With no need to walk anywhere, I am hoping that her company will provide me with a bit of a pick me up.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Angelique's Rewards

"...Angelique..." whispered the gusts of wind and snow upon her arrival. And amongst them a beautiful black-winged angel smiled sweetly while leaving in its wake a trail of violet petals ..." - Victoria Frances, Angelique, Violets in the Ice, from Frozen Light


I really enjoyed my last three card reading - probably because it answered the question well - so I thought I would have a go at another one. For this, I thought I would pull three cards about my career. I haven't read about that in a while. I didn't have any specific positions for this reading, but I did have a few questions. Am I making the right decisions? Where am I headed?

Like before, I noted the colours. We have the soft but sharp pink of air on the left and the slightly murkier violet of earth on the right. This tells me that we are looking at both the realm of thought and the physical world. In the centre, we have a major card, Justice. All of the borders to the majors are golden. Sat in the middle, this card tells us that something of importance could be manifesting here.

The black-winged angel in the centre of this trio is Angelique. From what I have read in the Favole trilogy, she is an angel of death, who takes souls with only a smile and the gentle caress of her victim's face. In Justice, like many cards in the tarot, we have an important change at hand, but Angelique assures that we get what we pay for. If we have put effort into something, then we reap the rewards of our actions, whether good or bad. As with the traditional version of Justice, her eyes are closed; they look almost stuck together with eyeliner. If I am a good boy, then Angelique will reward me with those things I want.

So what is the price here? The six little butterflies on the first card open up a pathway between them, which reminds me of Moses parting the Red Sea. It is a tranquil card, since it takes us away from previous hardships. Things started pretty well for me in January, but over the last few months, once again, I am at a loss with no work. This new vocation I began has dried up and I am left feeling lost. These butterflies provide a journey to somewhere new. The card advises that a journey of some kind may be in store, whether mental, educational, or physical. In a round about way, they suggest that I on the move once more, after learning from previous experience.

The 3 of Crosses is probably the most important card for me in this reading. Firstly, because it speaks of what I have done before. This is what Angelique will reward me for. But it also represents what needs to be done. The work is not over. I am looking towards a career shift and I know that it is not going to be as easy of a pathway as these butterflies might first suggest. When the cards are all fused together, my journey with the butterflies is dependent on how much effort I put in, as outlined in the 3 of Crosses. Angelique will grant me nothing if I don't get down to it and roll up my shirt sleeves.

As I have mentioned here already, there are some plans I have which I am still trying to maintain a level of secrecy about. I wasn't entirely convinced that they were the right ones, but these cards suggest otherwise. The path is waiting, as is Angelique, so even though it might seem pretty obvious, the last step in this reading is down to me if I want to journey with the butterflies.


Illustrations from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Stuck in the Middle

I have had things to do this morning and time has flown. I could have sworn it was about 2pm now, but I am two hours behind myself. I haven't done too many readings with this deck, so while I was having my coffee on the patio, I came up with this simple little spread, entitled Stuck in the Middle. Let's say that this reading is fictitious and that I want to know where I stand and what I should do while between two people. It might be something you can use when you feel stuck between two lovers, two friends, or even two choices.

Let's say I was stuck between two people who have had a falling out and feel pulled in both directions. As I mentioned in my daily draw today, The Favole Tarot hosts some beautiful tones in it's minor arcana and they provide clues as I begin this reading. On the left, we have Person 1, who is tinted in a fresh pink, symbolising air. All four butterflies take a corner and rest out for a bit. There is something secure in the number 4, which would lead me to believe that this person feels they have made a right and rational choice in this dispute. They are not moving and are standing their ground. Person 1 is making decisions based on their thoughts. They have withdrawn from the situation and feel sure of them self. They will not be making any moves to rectify the situation.

Person 2 is controlled by their emotions. They are drowning in the watery green of the Flowers suit. If there was just four of these flowers on this card, we might see an out and out stand off between Person 2 and Person 1, but with the addition of the fifth large rose, the security of the number 4 has been broken. The leaves on each rose resemble tears to me and suggest that Person 2 feels an emotional loss. Unlike the rational viewpoint of Person 1, the person this card is drawn for responds emotionally and is probably feeling hurt.

The third card in the middle is the questioner. Let's say, for argument's sake, it is me. As a card of fire, the 9 of Masks shows no preference or empathy to either Person 1 or Person 2 specifically, due to suit, which I see as important. The masks almost fill the card and symbolise protection over it's own individuality. There is a great struggle here, which suggests that I must not be swayed by either side. I would question if the dispute between the two people will soon be over (possibly instigated by Person 2), because the 9 of Masks could be saying that my struggle is nearing an end. If this is true, I must persevere and continue to not take sides. You know what it's like. I have had experiences in the past where I have ended up agreeing with one person and fighting their corner, only for the two in the dispute to reform their friendship and then I find myself frozen out. The cards would suggest that I protect myself and hold back anything I am told until they sort it out them selves. As a '9', the card might also describe how the arguing has worn me down.

I can understand why non-scenic minors might be a hassle for some readers, but sometimes, the pictures on tarot minors can be too much. I got a lot from this short reading by first looking at just the colours, numbers, and positioning. The further details just brought it all together that bit more. Don't get me wrong, I love scenic minor cards too, but sometimes, it's nice to have this simplicity. I don't often design spreads, but my experience has told me that the smaller are usually the better. If this reading was a real one, then I would have a better idea of how to proceed now and have a good understanding of the energies between the two disputing people.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Is everything going to be alright?

There is something about the green on the flower cards which I find so appealing. I guess you could look at it as being a bit sickly and pea-green in shade, but it feels calm, sophisticated and very Gothic to me. A lot of people don't like the pips in this deck, but even with Rider Waite translation in the back of my mind, I still see the warmth and beauty of family and emotional fulfillment in this card. It's nicely balanced. I think of those two big roses as a couple, with all of the people that matter to them at their sides. Aside from the 2 of Flowers (where couples and partnerships are born), there isn't another pip with the two big flowers in this same arrangement.

The lady from the Chronic Fatigue service called me this morning. Even though I am still going to my appointment, I wanted to see if there was any way of changing it under these circumstances. She said there was not. She wandered off for a couple of minutes, and then returned to the phone, telling me that my next chance of an appointment would be sometime next year. She also added another half an hour onto how long she thought my assessment would run for. To add another blow, Julie's funeral has been put forward half an hour, so all in all, there is now no chance of my ducking in ten minutes late. I am now slightly concerned that I will miss the second part. I guess it will be how it will be and there's no point in my worrying. When did worrying ever change anything?

It's really interesting to see how people view the suits in this deck. Many mix up the Crosses and Masks. I have linked the former to earth and the latter to fire, but seem to be in the minority there. I was reading some reviews of this set online last night and one person sees the flowers as air. This is what I really like about The Favole. You really have to make it your own, which is why I think it has become such a hit with me. I don't think it is necessary to go and buy the graphic novels that are centered around Favole, Ezequiel, Sacha, and Persephone, but they have fleshed out their characters a lot for me, and at such a cheap price, I find dipping into them both rewarding and exciting. For someone looking at the Judgement card without that knowledge, they would not realise that after plunging a stake through his own heart, this is the pathway that Ezequiel walks with Favole (plus the little boy Sacha from The Fool) at the end of the trilogy. An epic decision for him, as we know from the traditional meaning of this card.


"And with all three holding hands, they crossed a path of angels who didn't stop crying while bidding farewell. And they felt that light, cold like ice ... The stone angels looked up in silence. In that very moment, endless watery pearls started to dampen their bodies. Rivers of tears flowing from heaven ..." - Victoria Frances, Frozen Light


I have drawn the 10 of Flowers (or Cups) quite a bit in the last month. It came up on a few days when I didn't write here and I have been linking it to the house we want to buy (primarily due to the depiction in the Rider Waite, which shows a small house and a family). It brings the support of loved ones and emotional security to the table, which I would say I always have had and still have the luxury of. It's also a card that, through uncertainty, lets me know that everything is going to be alright.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Head over Heart

"Ezequiel, vampire of her memories! How she yearns to be back in his ghostly fortress and to be entwined with the mortality of his icy body"

Well, I have to say, I can see Favole's point. For a bloke who has been dead for the odd century or two, Ezequiel isn't looking too bad! Today, he falls into my draw as the King of Butterflies. I have assigned the suit of Butterflies to air. From looking at the portrait used for this card in the book Set Me Free, I can see that the little butterfly above his head (the same one from the Ace of Butterflies) has been added afterwards for the purpose of this deck. It is nice to go and source the original paintings because there are the odd couple of Frances' pictures squeezed together in the one card or the crop of a far larger scene in this pack.

I think that this is often a card of good advice, clarity, and using your head over your heart. Ezequiel has a depth of thought and often does what he thinks is right, rather than surrendering to his nature. This makes me think of my good old diet again. You would not believe how many advertisements and cookery programmes were on television last night. We had The Great Bake Off, brandishing cakes of all shapes and sizes, Kirstie's Homemade Home, featuring her entry to a baking competition, and more KFC adverts than I could take. Surprisingly, there wasn't one advert endorsing wheat flakes with non-fat yogurt and oatbran, which became both my evening's treat and this morning's breakfast. I tucked into it last night while my boyfriend chomped away on a piece of crusty bread, smothered in pate. I don't eat any bread at the moment, but good god, it looked good. I needed to summon up every last bit of Ezequiels mental strength to stop me from snatching it off his plate and swallowing it in one. However, the proof really is in the pudding (or maybe the dry steak with a few spoon fulls of veg I had for my Sunday lunch), because I have lost quite a few pounds and feel so much better. When I went out on Saturday, I put on clothes that I haven't in a while. I wore straight-legged jeans, boots, a shirt, tie and jumper. I did my hair in my recent trademark quiff and put on a pair of tortoiseshell glasses. I felt better than I had in a long while. Maybe it's down to knowing that I was in control at last; very King of Butterflies, I'd say.

I think that this card could suggest more than this recently captured confidence though. My parents have a meeting booked with the solicitor this afternoon, so it might represent the person that they meet there, since the King of Butterflies can stand for someone with an authority of knowledge and who can offer advice.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Love and Care

Well, yesterday's prediction was pretty spot on. As the day unfolded, I got a call from my boyfriend, saying that he wasn't feeling his best and wanted to stay home rather than come to the party, so as I thought might happen, my plans changed and I had to make my way over to my friend's alone. In the last month, she has been seeing a guy and I met him for the first time last night. I wasn't sure what he would be like but he was really friendly and has a good personality. They appeared very close and she seems pretty taken with him. The three of us got a taxi to another mate's birthday party and spent a good few hours there. I gave her the bear I'd made her for her birthday and she loved it (probably down to it's imperfections).

I had been a little irritated by the change of plans yesterday because they were very last minute, but I saw my boyfriend for the first time this weekend today. I think that the Knight of Flowers is about us. After being separated since Thursday evening, it shows us coming back to one another today. I do love him and feel sad about the week he has just gone through. Unlike me, he holds emotions inside and isn't as comfortable in talking about those things we all bottle up. Today's card shows me reaching out, trying to administer love and care.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Tumbling Down

Oh dear, here we go again. We rewind to that place where Favole dashes from Ezequiel's castle after some kind of unexpected and chaotic rage. To be honest, this was not a card I was expecting today. This kind of worries me a little, because in previous repeats of the card, it has suggested a warning of some kind of explosion. Even if it's damage is small today, there are a handful of things I don't want to come tumbling down. I am looking forward to a friend's party this evening and I am now wondering what could unexpectedly ruin it.

I went out with two of my friend's last night. Being real party-poopers, none of us drank and my friend drove. I can't remember the last time that I hit the pub on two glasses of fizzy water. We went to see a band but didn't stay around for too long. One of my mates was a little tired so we walked her home, leaving us to nestle at a table in our local pub until closing. We must have looked a picture of fun, walking through the crowds of Friday night revellers with our cups of coffee and jug of milk, but all in all, we enjoyed ourselves, spending an hour and a half chatting before going home. My friend is on the Dukan diet too, so neither of us wanted to spoil the work we had already put in to it. To be honest, sitting with my two friends and talking while the alcohol didn't flow was just what I needed. I'd felt wiped out again that afternoon and didn't want to push it. Who needs whisky when you've got good conversation?

We received paperwork from our solicitor today, so that's one more pigeon step towards our goal. My parents drove past our buyer's house this morning and saw a 'Sold' sign outside of it, so lets keep our fingers crossed that at least that part of our life is secure in the moment. For me, The Tower is those things which pull the rug from under your feet. In the past, it has shown as a breakdown, depression that hits from nowhere, a turn around or cancelling of plans, or my unwelcome fatigue. It could be one or two of those today, or what is that bit more concerning, is that it could be a wallop from something I haven't even considered. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Bloody Ezequiel!


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The Right Direction

This is an interesting card, because it brings up a few thoughts and situations within me. Of course, I think of the things which are happening on the surface of my life. We did hear back from the solicitor yesterday, as acknowledged by the Ace of Butterflies, and he told us that the contact we have for the bungalow does have the authority to sell. It's a small step forward, but in the right direction all the same. In terms of my diet, I have just weighed myself and it would seem that I have lost a few pounds since I began. That's not loads, but once again, I am heading in the right direction. The successes of the 6 of Masks need not be great sweeping wins on the lottery or the passing of your masters exams. On a daily basis, it might be those small steps towards our goals which are accomplished.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to walk to the shop. This appeared to be a good idea when I was in the house, but halfway through what should have been a ten minute walk, my feet were dragging, I started to become breathless, and my concentration began to dissolve into nothingness. I probably should have turned back, but continued. When I finally did near home, I was literally pulling my feet across the ground and felt hot. This was how things used to be over a year ago, but which have begun to edge back into my days for the last month or so. I got in, made my way up to my bedroom, opened a window, and then flaked out. I lay there and wondered if this was what The Tower was trying to warn me of on Wednesday. Eventually, after a short nap, I returned to a bear I had been sewing for a friend's birthday during the morning and started to feel better, but the experience worried me. I am so glad that I have my consultation with the Chronic Fatigue doctor on the 31st, but that doesn't come without complications. I have been waiting for over a year and a half for an appointment and only got this one because somebody else cancelled. It says on the letter that they come up very rarely. I was therefore frustrated to learn from my boyfriend yesterday evening that Julie's funeral is on the same day. I could probably hot foot it over there straight after the appointment, possibly missing the beginning of the service but being able to go to the cremation and wake. I think my boyfriend is a little disappointed but says it is my choice. If I cancel this consultation, I don't know when I will get another, and right now, with my aching bones and spells like yesterday once again becoming more regular, I want to see the specialist. Of course, I don't want to miss the funeral, but my appointment at the M.E. Centre is important too. I just hope that people understand. Because I am not always slumped in a heap on my bed, I wonder if others around me think that my chronic fatigue is something I turn on and off when I feel like it. Not many people have experienced what it is like to be out with me when my body completely turns off, so they don't really get it.

Of course, today's card might indicate a success of sorts yet to come, but I think it is talking about those surface situations already mentioned. My diet is something that I think a lot of those around me cannot understand. They see someone who has always been slim and question why I would need to be on one. I am slimmer than a lot of people I know, but it is how you feel about yourself. Rather than moaning about how I look, isn't it better to do something about it? The 6 of Masks can be associated with pride, so it might be highlighting how I feel about myself as I progress through this. My general diet has always been erratic. I nearly never ate breakfast, have picked at snacks throughout the day and skipped meals. At other times, I have previously drunk myself silly on a night out and eaten nothing the next day, only to gorge myself with a takeaway in the evening. There may be all of the usual fears surrounding Pierre Dukan, as there is with any diet that is considered fashionable, but for the first time in a long time, I am eating three healthy meals a day, not snacking on rubbish and drinking the right intake of water; no takeaways, coke, crisps, or meal-skipping.

Something to be proud of? I'd say so.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

Telling you how it is

God, it's cold. Before I went to my boyfriend's last night, I put a scarf in my satchel as an afterthought and I'm glad I did. Leaving his house this morning at 7, it was nearing freezing. I bought myself a coffee on the station and sat in the warm as I waited for my train. The platform was covered in frost.

It's kind of interesting to see the Ace of Butterflies so soon after my post about it the other day. Since what I wrote there, it is not difficult to associate it with Julie. Aside from the idea of After Death Communication, which I used to help explain the card's traditional concept of cutting through personal fog, sadness and confusion, the card also reminds me of her personality. Julie was a strong woman. On the very first time that I met her, we sat at her kitchen table and she told me that people can only take her as she is - 'she called a fig a fig, and a shovel a shovel'. Beneath all of that, I know that she was a very emotionally deep and kind hearted woman, but on the surface, she was direct and to the point; most often, I'd guess, as a means of personal protection. The Ace of Butterflies (or swords in traditional tarot) is a bit like that, since it tells you how it is. I have often linked the card to communication and news, since it brings knowledge and understanding when needed. It's not always delicate in it's delivery, as Julie may not have been at times, but it is honest and truthful.

Despite feeling that bit more alert, my body felt tired yesterday, and as before, making it up the hill from the station was a bit of a battle this morning. Thankfully, I finally have a consultation with someone from the M.E. Society in a just over a week. Granted, I am not as fatigued as I was a year ago, but I still have days where I drown amongst the strong waves of tiredness, my concentration takes a vacation, and all of my bones ache. It's taken over a year and a half to get this appointment, so I want to go.

I am on the third day of the Dukan Diet and so far, things are ticking along well. On the attack phase, I am only eating protein. I am sure that bread previously slowed me down and left me feeling sluggish, so cutting that out could be one of the reasons why I feel that bit more with it. I haven't felt particularly peckish and have been eating regular meals. My mum and I have been preparing our own porridge in the morning, eating healthily for lunch and dinner, and have had non-fat yogurt with oatbran as our desert. I only need to attack for one more day, before adding a selective list of vegetables, but I am already feeling less bloated and that bit more confident with myself. Pierre Dukan insists that we drink 1.5 litres of water a day. My usual intake of water is not particularly good, so I think that this is also helping me to feel more alive. Doing this diet has stopped me from my habitual grazing in the kitchen in between meals or filling myself up with rubbish out of convenience. I feel slightly different; maybe another connection to the Ace of Butterflies, as 'she' lifts me to a higher state of awareness.

My dad called the solicitor today, since it has been a week since they last spoke. He had hoped that the guy may have sniffed out some information about whether we can buy the bungalow, but simply remembering who we are was a task. He has said he will try to look into it and get back with something today. This might be the information suggested in the Ace of Butterflies, since we are in the dark at the moment and do not know whether we can progress forward with that sale or not.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The Unexpected Bill

If you are like me, you would have shuddered when turning over this card. It really isn't one of my favourites, since it has predicted some mighty explosions in my past quite accurately. We still haven't heard anything back from our solicitor about buying the bungalow. My parents were hoping something might come in the post today, so after telling my mum I had received The Tower as my daily card, she said that she hoped it had nothing to do with that.

In today's card, Favole is expelled from Ezequiel's castle. We understand that her feelings for this immortal spectre are so strong that she wishes to share in his misfortune and drink in his sentence. It is instinctual as a vampire for Ezequiel to want to give her an eternal death, but his love is far stronger, which causes him to banish her from his court. There is something unexpected about his reaction, which I guess threads the story into the interpretation of The Tower. However, on looking through the book 'Stone Tears' (the first Favole graphic novel in a series of three), I found another painting which might have been more appropriate. Rather than a castle, the picture shows an actual tower. Beneath it is a ship in danger amongst stormy seas. Would this not have been more fitting for the sixteenth trump?

I don't know if it is because I haven't been eating bread and starchy vegetables, but I felt really alert yesterday. I can't remember feeling that zingy for a while. My mum and I persevered through our first day on the Dukan Diet and surprisingly didn't feel hungry or crave the things we might usually. The same goes for this morning. We got up and she made us some Oatbran porridge. It kept us full for our trip into town and we have just had lunch. I don't feel the urge to pick at food at the moment, which is good.

When we got home, the postman came. He didn't bring anything from the solicitor but he did deliver a £65 national insurance bill that I wasn't expecting. I'd say that that is my Tower experience for today.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot and Stone Tears by Victoria Frances

Hello from Heaven

I thought I'd come back and write a second post. I didn't pick a card for this one. I chose one instead. For this post, we have the Ace of Butterflies. As I probably said before, The Favole comes without any information about suit elements, so the reader can therefore choose which element he or she feels fits with each. This might come as a shock for those who can't work without a 453 page guidebook, but I found it refreshing. I laid all of the court families out and decided which I felt went with water, air, fire, and earth. I have a different arrangement to some I have read of on the internet, but it makes sense to me. I attribute the suit of Butterflies to air.

This suit became stronger for me today. After hearing the sad news about Julie this morning, I took my coffee into the garden, while I waited for my friend to arrive. I was thinking about my boyfriend's aunt and almost asking for some kind of sign - something to show me that all of the pain had now passed for her. I was hoping that the wind might blow or something would fall from the trees, but instead, out of the bushes next to where I was sitting, a beautiful butterfly suddenly spiraled into view and rested beside both the pond and I. Now, the reason that I noticed this butterfly was because this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. When I was 19, my friend's mother, who I was very close to, also died of cancer. On a cold day, we made our way to her funeral and stood around the graveside. As the priest began to speak, a single butterfly dropped from nowhere and began to flutter above the grave. Everyone stopped and watched it as it eventually rested on the coffin. Afterwards, many who I spoke to mentioned the little butterfly.

Another friend's mother had the exact same experience. She was so mesmerised by the butterfly which stole the show at her own mother's funeral that she had a small one tattooed on her shoulder as a constant memory. I grabbed my Blackberry this morning and moved nearer to the pond, eventually taking a photograph of the beautiful creature. It sat there, still as anything, for a good ten minutes before eventually flying away.

After taking the picture, I went onto Google to see if anything was written about all of this and was surprised to find many links about people seeing butterflies after the death of a loved one. Apparently, it is called ADC (After Death Communication). It isn't only limited to butterflies, but it seems that they are one of the most often seen creatures in this situation. On one site, authored by Bill and Judy Guggenheim, it says " People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, and many species of birds and animals. According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition".

The butterfly is a well know symbol of transformation, due to it's impressive method of metamorphosis. I have read that the butterfly is linked to the soul by some cultures, including those in Greece (Psyche , which actually translates as soul, was represented in the form of a butterfly), the Mexican Aztecs and those in Central Asia. It makes sense to me as an 'after death communicator' since it has released itself from it's earthly baggage.

Of course, all of this could be purely coincidental and you could quite easily argue that people see what they want to see in times of grief. However, regardless of this, seeing something as beautiful and simple as this butterfly has provided a lot of people with peace of mind. In that sense, it can cut through their despair and bring new understanding. This is the main reason why I have chosen to write this post, because it reminds me of the Ace of Swords in traditional tarot. In this deck, Swords have been replaced by Butterflies. When I next get this card, I have so much more to think about. I will remember how that beautiful little creature spiraled into my morning and brought sunlight into the darkness. This card is like that, because it cuts through the densest fog with clarity. You could call it a hello from Heaven.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

She's Gone

I was flipping through The Favole last night, which is why it is out on my desk today. As I was also online at the time, I punched the title into the search engine to see if there was any seasonal offshoots (I noticed journals and the like on sale before Christmas last year). One link took me to some chat about the pack on a forum.

It really does get my goat how people state that decks like this one are 'unreadable' (yes, that was the actual word used). Someone had posted how it is worth getting for the collection, but you'll never have a hope in hell of reading with it. People read with playing cards, sticks, stones, clouds, and even the junk at the bottom of their handbags. Why should the Favole be so difficult? Ok, I admit that the pip designs are not the most inspiring I have seen, but I do love the colours and emblems used for each suit. I sometimes think that a fully-scenic deck would be too much. The space in this minor arcana allows a reader to breathe in a session without choking on too many of the big chunks. There are a lot of big characters here and they need room to move and play their parts.

For today, I draw The Hierophant. In this deck, he is the vampire Abel. Abel pops up two times in The Favole Tarot. He is also The Devil. Some might see this as sloppy, since the paintings were created before the deck, but I actually like the fact that he was chosen for these two cards. We can see The Hierophant as the committed and moral side of ourselves, where as The Devil can encourage us to be reckless and throw caution to the wind. We all have the possibility to be both sides of Abel. I am starting Pierre Dukan's diet today. A lot of my friends have been working at this and it seems to take real commitment, since the food options are so intensely dull while you are in the first phase. The temptation from The Devil is not chocolate cake, but just about anything with a smidgen of taste or that which resembles a normal meal. I am glad that the good Abel comes to visit today because it kind of confirms that I am on the right path. I always thought of The Hierophant as the sort of guy who doesn't cut corners.

As I woke up this morning, I turned on my mobile and waited. A message came through at that exact moment. It was from my boyfriend, saying 'She's gone, babe'. He and his parents went over to visit his aunt Julie yesterday evening straight from work. After we had been to see her, she had got much worse and had fallen into a coma. We kind of expected last night to be her last, so even though I am deeply sad that she has died, I kind of expected it. My boyfriend is working from home today, since he and his family are very much affected by the news. I don't really know what to say. From now on, we just need to be here for Julie's husband and three teenage children. I liked Julie a lot and always told her she was my favourite of my boyfriend's aunts. She had a real personality about her and was very generous. The world doesn't look the same without her in it.


Illustration from The Favole Tarot by Victoria Frances

The First Step onto the Pathway

This was one of the first cards I made for this deck. I initially titled it The Pathway before deciding to make my deck borderless and titleless. I didn't want to confine the cards in any way, but leave them open to many interpretations. My first ideas, when creating it, was that the pathway was an option or offer. The woman doesn't know whether to take it or not, since it slinks into darkness and this worries her. But as we hear many times, you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. The card suggests a pathway that is newly discovered. It is whether we want to take that first step onto it which is important, how ever unknown it's destination is. It will eventually take her to another part of the Dark Beach.

There are many options open to us. Sometimes, we don't notice the tracks in the sand and it is only when the sun lights that certain part of the beach that we can see them. I am currently tuning into pathways which have been there for many years, but only in recent times, have I thought about where they might lead. They are not new. They are just newly discovered and considered. At the moment, in terms of work and my career, I am making that first step towards finding a different part of the metaphorical beach. We don't know what to expect when we get there, but often, it's worth taking a look. I read something somewhere which said that if 'you're looking for the path, you're already on it'.

Today is one of those days that finds me sitting where this woman is; right at the edge of the pathway. Not working has once again put me in a rut. It takes me ages to get down to do anything; I end up saying 'I'll do my stuff after breakfast', 'after lunch', or 'after the next cup of coffee'. And still I sit here, thinking about doing things, but rarely doing them. Today's card is all about encouraging me to take that first step.


Illustrations from The Dark Beach Oracle by Prince Le Normand

My Cave of Emotional Wealth

Today's card shows a dragon, sitting in a cave amongst what I guess to be emotional wealth. As with many Rider Waite decks, this is a card of celebration, but I also see it as being connected to our friends and social community. It probably would have made more sense for yesterday, rather than today.

My boyfriend and I drove over to visit his aunt yesterday afternoon. I am really glad that I prepared him for it, because seeing her was quite a shock for both of us. When I walked into the living room, I didn't recognise her at first. She has lost an awful lot of weight, especially in her face, and has aged dramatically. On the last time that we saw her, she welcomed us into her home with her larger than life personality, but yesterday, she was sitting in her wheelchair in silence with her head to one side. It was a real punch in the stomach to see her like that. Her three children were bearing up as best as they could. They know that they don't have much time left with their mother and were being so brave and mature for her sake. She brightened up and out of her stillness when her youngest son walked into the room. For that second, we saw the Julie we remember. Unfortunately, it was just for a second, since she was so tired and slipped back into rest.

We didn't know what to say or how to feel when we left. My boyfriend's mother got a little emotional outside the front door and I gave her a hug. My boyfriend and I went off to pick up my friend and her daughter, which gave us a little time to digest what we had just experienced, and then we all went to the family party for his 8 year old niece. We all had a drink and it felt good to just relax out of the morning's events. Of course, with alcohol came tears. My boyfriend and his sister in law both became emotional when taking about Julie.

I am not sure where to place the 3 of Cups, but it does remind me of my own social community. Julie has not seen her sister for many years after some kind of petty difference. They are together now, which is great, but I couldn't help feeling sad and a little angry about all of those wasted years, down to something so silly. The card reminds me to think about people who I am close to and to let them know how much I value them. You never know what might prevent you from telling them further down the track.


Illustration from The Celtic Dragon Tarot by Lisa Hunt

Holding Hands in Faith

I'm drawing tomorrow's card early, since I doubt I am going to have a chance in the morning. We didn't get to see my boyfriend's aunt on Wednesday and tried to go this evening instead. However, we were told that tonight was not a good time as she was very unwell and the doctor was there. It was suggested that she may not make the weekend, which has shocked everyone. We are going to the house tomorrow morning with my boyfriend's parents. Even though we will probably be knocked for six after that, we have an 8 year old's birthday party to go to, so tomorrow will be pretty full on, emotionally as well as physically.

I am not so sure what to think about Justice. It is often suggested (as it is in the accompanying book to the Celtic Dragon Tarot by D.J. Conway) that it concerns legal situations. My parents have put everything in the hands of the solicitors for the house move, so it does make me wonder if the card has anything to do with this. As soon as I saw it, I thought of the solicitor who is looking after our affairs, holding up a piece of paper or contract. I'd say that that is Mum and Dad standing there in front of him. They are holding hands, in faith, hoping that everything will be okay. Thinking of them standing there makes me feel a little emotional. I so want all of this to go through well for them. We need something to go right.

Since we are out early in the morning, my boyfriend and I have had a quiet night in. I have visited a few people in the same position as my boyfriend's aunt over the years, and knowing what it is like, I am not looking forward to going, even though I like and care about her a lot; seeing her husband and three teenagers is going to be tough. We both need to prepare for that as I am sure they will be beside themselves. Her cancer was only diagnosed at the end of June, so this is a lot for everyone to get their heads around. The little girl who's birthday party is tomorrow was in hospital today after falling over and hurting her foot. We haven't heard if she has broken it yet, so tomorrow expects to be a testing day all round. We are having a few drinks in the evening, which I guess we'll probably be ready for.


Illustration from The Celtic Dragon Tarot by Lisa Hunt

The Meaning of Dreams

This is a nice version of the Page of Pentacles. I love Lisa Hunt's work. Just under a couple of years ago, I wrote to her, asking her permission for me to use her art on my blog. She was more than happy for me to do so, directing her friends from Facebook in my direction, to see The Celtic Dragon in use. We continued to write to one another briefly before I left the social networking site. She has such a warm and endearing personality, which I think comes through in her work. My boyfriend bought me this deck as a Christmas present a few years ago, so it is very special to me. I love it's whimsical storybook illustrations. They take me back to my childhood, but also to a time when the tarot market wasn't flooded with pixel-pushing computer generated and collaged decks. I was thinking of asking for another of Lisa Hunt's tarot sets for this Christmas. Any recommendations? I looked through some of them last night. There was a few cards in The Fairytale that I straight out didn't feel comfortable with, but I liked both the Fantastical Creatures and Animals Divine for different reasons. I have seen scans of the Shapeshifter. I am not sure if the colours might be too garish for me, even though I like the concept. To my memory, the Death card is a little icky. Lisa doesn't sugar-coat her decks.

Today's Page of Pentacles holds a book. I'm guessing that he is me, holding one of the few books that came in the post yesterday. The one in the illustration is called The Meaning of Dreams and those dragons above are the dreams of the young boy. He can see where he wants to be, but must read and learn from the book to achieve his goal. Yup, I just knew there'd be a catch. So it looks as though today's card is advising me to actually sit down and do something. In this case, learning from a book couldn't be closer to the truth.


Illustration from The Celtic Dragon Tarot by Lisa Hunt

All Change

I didn't feel like doing too much this evening, so decided to throw a few cards. Since there have been small steps forward with the house move, I was a little apprehensive about reading around it, but then thought 'why not?'. I decided on using a fool-proof past, present and future spread with the 'dragons'. I'd say it quite accurately nailed the first two cards, so am hoping that the third is on the money too.

The Past - 8 of Swords

As soon as I turned this card, I could relate to the woman in the window and let out a sigh. Yes, we have felt like she does for over two years now. Her home has become a prison to some degree and she feels bound there. The beautiful vines around her window have since died. My father has always enjoyed this house and the area, but our neighbours have killed that which we once loved. We do not feel 100% comfortable here and with their revolting and disrespectful children, it is difficult to appreciate our own living space. The woman in this card has had to try and free herself from misery by using her own free will. In our case, that was putting the house on the market. Isn't it awful that a lack of consideration from others can encourage people to give up a home they have loved for 24 years? It kind of saddens and sickens me all at the same time.

The Present - The World

Ah, we have movement here. The greys in the first card have been coloured with blues, reds, and energetic lively greens. The woman's clothes are no longer drab and tatty, but pure white and she has her friends around her. She has awoken from her previous slumber, since that part of her life is now closing down. This is a card of cycles, which holds both a beginning and an end. This is interesting, because when I look at the spirals in the picture while squinting my eyes, it reminds me of a washing machine on a spin program. In this trio, it would make sense to see the 8 of Swords as the end of a cycle and the 8 of Wands as the beginning of a new one.

The Future - 8 of Wands

The phrase I thought of when I looked at this card was ' and they're off!'. With small wands in their mouths and claws, the dragons all head in a new direction. I love that one right at the top, who appears to be laughing. The one at the bottom has a lovely look in his eye too. He seems self-assured. It's as if he is thinking to himself 'finally!'. This is a card of movement and speed. It is of great contrast to the first card (also an 8) which is stagnant and dying. This might be one of my favourite 8 of Wands cards ever I think, since it is so uplifting.

Part of me didn't want to write about developments with our house on the blog, thinking it might be better to keep it secret, through fear of jinxing myself by being too confident or complacent. We were so excited when we sold before. We started to pack, booked the removals, paid for the surveys .. and then 'bang!' .. the whole thing fell through. It could happen again, and this time, I think we might like the potential in this house even more than the last. I would like to really believe in these cards because they appear so positive. However, as much as I do, I am kind of afraid to put my trust in them, through fear of another disappointment a little further down the road.


Illustration from The Celtic Dragon Tarot by Lisa Hunt

The Door to the Future

It's murky outside. It's one of those days where you have to actually go right up to the window to examine if it is raining or not. I can't tell from here, but it looks as though it ought to be. The trees and hills in the distance are cloaked in mist and the bushes in our garden are mildly shivering in the Autumn breeze. I guess that this is how things will be from now on in. The weather has changed. Today was the first day that I put my big navy donkey jacket on to go out.

There is something a little comforting in this kind of weather. It reminds me of being in primary school. In the afternoon, we would all sit on the carpet and listen to a story. Often, the main lights would be turned off and outside of the classroom, the Autumn leaves would chase each other around the playground in the wind. At 3.30, my mum would be waiting at the gate with the other parents and it would be time to go home, wrapped up in my anorak.

The change of the season always seemed more of a big deal as a kid, but I am still very sensitive to it now. I have just been down to make a coffee. My parents are dozing with the cat and it is dark and cosy in the living room. It was only yesterday that I thought about actually leaving this house. Before, it had all been about leaving the declining community and our bastard neighbours. I'd kind of forgotten that we would be leaving this house, which has absorbed so much of us. Arrangements are being made today, but of course, nothing is 100% certain just yet. There is always so much to go wrong.

Anyone who remembers my previous draws with the Celtic Dragon Tarot will remember Wyvern. As you can see, he came and settled on my speaker the moment that the deck was pulled from it's box again. He reminds me of the small dragons in the 3 of Pentacles, seated above the door. Wyvern brings a little Celtic music with him, courtesy of YouTube, which adds a nice mood to this grey afternoon. I often get this tarot card when preparation for a job is underway. I am not in the midst of an interview process this time, but I do have a few things I want to invest my time in, relating to getting work. I am being a little secretive about all of this, but a package arrived this morning which will help me. The man in the card is painting onto his door. Three pentacles relate to growth. From my understanding of this depiction, his work on the door will soon enable him to walk through it to his future, which is what I hope the project I have ahead of me will allow me to do too.


Illustration from The Celtic Dragon Tarot by Lisa Hunt

Into the Woods

I felt like drawing another card today, and earlier, picked Into the Woods. I kind of forgot about it and thought I wouldn't blog for a second time, but just now, changed my mind. I shuffled again, counted through to the first number that had popped into my head, and as if by magick, the same card appeared. The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle deck has a habit of doing this. I thought I might leave this young lady on display here at my desk and ponder her for a bit.

On looking at her, my initial feeling is that she appears lost and slightly vulnerable. Even though her surroundings are lush with flowers, wildlife and more than the odd sparkle, there is a mist that could become threatening should she become lost in it. This faery's wings are down. They remind me of the goldfish I used to keep as a kid. When they were unwell, their dorsal fins would lay close to their backs, rather than springing up with health. I guess that the woods can be a place of both beauty and fear. Does this card suggest that you can only find the former by encountering the latter? I loved my primary school after a while, but on the first day, I literally cried all of the way there and screamed the place down when my mum had to leave. I can relate to this faery. Going into the wood for those first few moments is unnerving.

I am seeing the woods as a space in time. One of the expressions on the tag line of this card is 'transition zone'. Maybe this faery needs to walk through these woods to get somewhere else. The rabbit at her feet might tell her that there is nothing to worry about, but it doesn't stop her from feeling concerned about this pathway. Since my last post, my dad has been onto the estate agent. The couple wanting to buy our house are writing a formal letter and I guess that from now on, things will be in the hands of solicitors. We still don't know that it will happen and have no clue as to what will develop with the property we want. In order to be where we wish, we must take this murky trip through the woods of uncertainty. All of our major fears about the sale falling through lurk amongst it's trees. We've walked this route before.

When I look at this card, I see a time of uncertainty, but I also feel that confronting fears pays off. I hate that old sitcom Only Fools and Horses, but I remember it's catch phrase 'He who dares, Rodney, he who dares!'. Oftentimes, the walk through these woods is inevitable. How else are you going to get to the other side? Of course, if I was this young lady, I'd probably fly over the top, but there you go. I get the card's message, and yes, it accurately describes where my family and I are at this moment.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

Under Starter's Orders

I sat at the dining table and shuffled for ages this morning. The bright days have been replaced by uninspiring grey ones, so as I drank my coffee and laid out these two cards, I kind of zoned out and into the nothingness. However, for such a drab looking day, these cards are pretty damn bright. I can't remember a time when two aces came up in a daily draw. As nice as they are, it would have been that bit better if one of them had been a pentacle.

As I look at the Ace of Wands today, I see myself being handed a baton in a relay race. As much as my involvement in sport has so far consisted of no more than fancying the odd footballer, I see myself holding my hand out, ready to start the last leg of the race. The finishing line, which is the castle, is where I am headed.

Looking at the two cards together, the common theme is 'the hand'. Both produce things for me to take. They are offers or seeds. Which do I accept? Would it be greedy to snatch up both? With the castle in the background, I can't help thinking that the Ace of Wands would be the best bet if the two provided a choice. As nice as the cup looks, it doesn't appear to have the same instinct to move forward as the wand does.

The Ace of Cups can represent a jolt of emotion (either good or bad) and I wonder if it is here because we are seeing my boyfriend's aunt this evening, who has deteriorated quite rapidly with Cancer. From what I have heard, seeing her might be a shock for both of us, so I think I'll need to prepare him for the visit, as much as preparing myself. This card could very likely be about his emotions, since they are more easily provoked than mine. Big boys do cry, and the smaller ones look after them.

So that is how I am seeing today's cards. As I drew them, I wondered if they described two different offers on our house. My parents really liked the first couple to make an offer, which I see in the Ace of Cups, and would probably like to sell to them. But what if another buyer could take us to the finishing line more quickly (shown by the Ace of Wands)? A dilemma. Maybe the baton is simply giving us the go-ahead and telling us that the time is now right? However, for the moment, I am choosing to see the Ace of Cups as an emotional situation and the Ace of Wands as my starting the next leg of my race. With that castle in mind, I do have some things to get on with. So, under starters orders ...

Update: Ten minutes after posting this reading, we heard that the 'emotional buyers' have sold and want to continue with the process of buying our house. Now we need to see what can be done about the house we want. Looks as though the tarot nailed it, as the castle is that bit closer.

Illustrations from The Radiant Rider Waite by Pamela Coleman Smith, recoloured by Virginijus Poshkus