Hekate's Two Paths

For New Year's Eve, I have drawn The Sacred Bough from The Hidden Path oracle. The tree shown on the card stands at a crossroads. Once again, I am greeted by Hekate, whose symbol is shown at the top of the trunk. Her key, which I drew some days ago, hangs from a cord around the tree's neck. She represents a decision to be made. I can either take one path or the other. It kind of feels as though Hekate is trying to make her presence known to me in this deck of cards.

Hekate is a dark goddess, associated with magick and the night. She is most often worshipped at crossroads, where offerings are left to her. These are called 'Hekate's Suppers', as shown at the base of The Sacred Bough. The idea is that we must sacrifice something to receive something. In today's card, I'd say it is advice and wisdom she will depart.

With today in mind, Hekate's advice might concern moderation, since I have to go to a party later. I don't want to drink too much (however much it is encouraged by friends) as I don't want to ruin tomorrow at my boyfriend's sister's house by feeling either hungover or tired. I guess that indulgence and moderation are the two different paths on offer.

The Sacred Bough suggests that death is not required in order to experience the reality of existence outside of the flesh. As a goddess of divination and prophecy, I can see why Hekate is connected to this card and why I am feeling drawn to the feminine energy of the goddess in her skin. As an offering for me to leave at the foot of the Sacred Bough, I will show my thanks by taking her advice and trying not to overdo things this evening.

My boyfriend and I popped out to the supermarket with my mum this morning to buy more muffin ingredients as he is now baking new batches for our party tonight and the family gathering at his sister's house tomorrow. I have felt a little woozy today. My arms ache, my neck feels heavy and my eyes are close to closing. It is nothing new, due to my chronic fatigue, but I have woken for two days in a row with a sore throat and ears, so I wonder if I am coming down with a cold. I intend to get a little nap in while my boyfriend cooks, so that I am feeling a little more sprightly for later.

To fill in the finer details of today, I have drawn Action, Past, and Chance from the Teen Oracle. The card in the centre tells me that today's reading is connected to something which has now gone. I would not be surprised if the first two (when combined) look at my meeting up with someone from my own past, since the hostess for tonight spends a lot of time on Facebook, connecting with old friends. It wouldn't be unlikely that the card could indicate an old acquaintance or two. I am less thrilled about the prospect than you might expect, since my past is often my past for a reason and I usually prefer to leave it there. The combination of 'action' and the 'past' made me wonder if the draw is predicting the resurfacing of an old lover, not that my friend would be in contact with any of my old ones.

When the past is mixed with the Chance card, I see a situation that is no longer available. It represents a missed opportunity or that fish who got away. As I sit here tired, I am not too sure what or who these cards are talking about, but I have the idea that they could represent a surprise or two at tonight's party.


Illustrations from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller and The Teen Oracle by Cinnamon Crow Dixon.

The Energy-Sucker

It's kind of interesting that after the preparation of the harvest that we witnessed in yesterday's card, we are shown the actual harvest in today's. The man and woman, who could easily be the god and goddess, gather the sheaves and bind them. The card addresses the fruits of our labour. Therefore, I can expect to receive in accord to the amount of effort I have put in. You might see it as a 'matched energy' that is returned to the originator.

To be honest, I don't feel as though I have put much out there in recent months, so I am not expecting too much back. It would be nice to receive reward from the work I did through January to July, but the slate feels wiped once again. I guess the card could be suggesting that if I want a better harvest next time, I need to put some more effort in now. It is both apathy and a lack of energy that is holding me back. I always want to put off until tomorrow, what I could potentially have a stab at today.

Today's trio from the Teen Oracle provide a warning. The central card lets us know that something must end. Similarly, we have a shield beside us which I imagine is for protection. But what do we need protection from? I'd say it's the vampire on the left. In this case, he represents something or someone who drains us of energy. I woke up aching this morning; my neck hurt and so did my arms. The vampire in question could be my fatigue or he might be someone close that is using me or my time up. I might need to rest up or hold my shield in the direction of those who's expectations are too high.

The end of the year is nigh. Our social activities are about to take a slight jump, since we are going to a party tomorrow night and are spending Sunday with my boyfriend's family. The vampire lurks within pints of Guinness and those who don't think guests can attend a New Years Eve party without getting paralytic. He dwells in people who ask how I am just because they want to tell me how they are. I need to be conscious of these energy-suckers over the next couple of days.


Illustrations from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller and The Teen Oracle by Cinnamon Crow Dixon.

My Own Personal Cornucopia

For today, I have drawn Lughnasadh. All of the sabbat cards in this deck show the same scene, which is modified to embrace each of the eight festivals. Lughnasadh (sometimes called Lammas) signals the beginning of the harvest season. The cornucopia on the altar in front of the goddess (who is the Lady of the Fields here) and the god (Lord of the Barley) suggests that the fruits of one's labours are manifesting. I think that the word 'manifesting' is key here, since the card represents the anticipation of what is yet to result from our hard work. In Wicca and Witchcraft, an important ingredient for all magic is visualisation - the art of being able to see what we want before it arrives. You might look at this card as being open to change as it asks us to become a vessel for new and exciting things. However, the card reminds us that the hard work is not over yet, since there is an element of fear connected to this sabbat. I see this in the balance of dark and light in the moon at the top of the illustration, indicating that the days of August are steadily darkening. Pagans once held hope for a bountiful harvest, but they were also worried that it wouldn't be large enough to fill the cold months.

This card makes me think of my own financial situation. I was listening to a radio programme about debt this morning. Aside from my student loan, I don't have any other debts to pay off, but it doesn't prevent this card from being a warning. I still have to keep within my means. Ok, my own personal cornucopia may not look so bad at the moment, but will it last me for much longer? This card could be a warning against the expectation of more than we have and could be advising us to be careful with our current harvest. After paying out so much extra for this house than we had at the time, it is definitely a reminder that my family must watch their pennies carefully and not spend money before it arrives.

Ok, so the Trouble card hits the centre slot again for the second day in a row. Something to acknowledge. I love cats but this one doesn't look too friendly. He is an omen of problems coming my way. When combined with Intuition, can I intuit what that might be? Thinking about yesterday's draw, I wonder if the cards predict a large dollop of trouble between two friends, ready to hit the fan. Once again, I remind myself to keep out of the disputes of others by not adding fuel to the fire; this means keeping my opinions out of conversation and trying to change the subject when it is brought up. I can foresee something coming to a head with these two cards in play. The Wizard is interesting because it reminds me of the card of Lammas. This guy has the potential to bring about the law of attraction through thought and ritual, so for me, the card reaffirms how my involvement in this equation could be potentially dangerous.


Illustrations from The Hidden Path by Mickie Mueller and The Teen Oracle by Cinnamon Crow Dixon.

Listen to the Magus

"To know, to dare, to will, to keep silent"

While laying in bed reading my new book on Wicca, I thought some more about Hekate last night. Being represented by the key as a symbol of secrets and wisdom, she reminds me of The High Priestess in tarot, even though some tarot creators have chosen to place her elsewhere in the majors of their decks. In The Mythic Tarot by Juliet Sharman-Burke, she is brought to life under the light of The Moon, shown as a triplicate with her three-headed hound. Even though I am using these cards for divination, I can see how they might be useful for performing a ritual. As well as there being a symbol for the goddess Hekate, there are also representations of everything else you might need for ritualistic spells and magic. Not everyone has the space or money to house an athame, cauldron, or other ceremonial tools. With a little of the right intention, the two packs could easily provide an affordable and portable symbolic altar.

For today, I have drawn The Words of the Magus. The card shows two open pages from a Book of Shadows, which reads "To know, to dare, to will, to keep silent". I read that this is a card of achievement and mastery. However, with the path disappearing through the archway and into the horizon of the book illustration, the card suggests that mastery is not yet complete. After my Christmas dinner, rum and raisin cheesecake, and a handful of mini sausage rolls, I was a little scared to confront the scales today, but they were actually favourable and kindly, showing that I had lost a pound under my target weight, as appose to putting any more on. How ever much of a relief this is, I cannot be complacent and must continue to maintain what I have lost and eat healthily. I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that everything is sorted and then pile all of the weight back on again. The card also reminds me of smoking. In less than a week, I would have given up completely for two months. I have been out and drank alcohol over the festive period, but despite the urges, I chose to stay inside and talk with my non-smoking friends, rather than indulge outside with the smoking ones. Yup, it wasn't easy and I still have the odd craving throughout the day, but I'd say I have tackled the worst of it.

Today's threesome from The Teen Oracle is spikier than yesterday's, bringing the black cat of Trouble to the centre of the reading. When I read three cards like this, I sometimes find it easiest to combine the central card with each of it's neighbours independently, rather than try to merge the whole lot together in one. Here, when it is squeezed together with Gossip, the interpretation seems pretty obvious. The slurs and inaccuracies of gossip are never a good horse to back. As I have previously read in my studies of Kabbalah and more recently in The Wiccan Rede, words can be deadly, causing a kind of spiritual bloodshed to those they are directed at. When someone gossips about another, whether true or not, it's hard to shed what you have heard and those negative qualities are forever glued to the soul of the gossip's target. This card combination reminds me to watch what I say and choose what I listen to. Accepting or spreading gossip has it's consequences.

When Trouble is merged with Chance, we are presented with a warning. These cards depict a situation where we should not jump into something without checking it out first. After yesterday's suggestion of an opportunity, I think it wise to check out the small print, rather than simply striking because the iron is hot.

My boyfriend drove us over to our friend's house today to bake muffins. Well, what actually happened was that he baked 48 muffins (12 Savory Feta Cheese & Spinach, 12 Strawberrys & Cream, 12 Raspberry, and 12 Chocolate Oatbran) while we sat at the kitchen table and watched. The Chocolate Oatbran were from a Dukan recipe and were disgusting, but the other 36 were really moist, light and tasty. We left a selection with our friend, who cooked us a lovely Italian-styled salad with ghocchi for our dinner, and brought the remainder back home. With a cup of cocoa, we just presented my parents with a tasting session. They were especially happy with the Strawberry and Raspberry choices but literally screwed their faces up at Dukan's option, which has found it's way to the bin.

Today's trio from the Teen Oracle has been interesting because I both received gossip and was in a position to share some too. I tried my best to avoid talking about someone and kept my lips tightly sealed, regarding the information I had heard. The idea of talking about someone felt akin to shooting an arrow in their direction. Yehuda Berg of The Kabbalah Centre has previously said " If you’re gossiping about another person, you’re judging them. And all of the judgment we put out there comes back to us. There’s no way around that. No judgment can come to us that we didn’t first give out ourselves". This sounds very similar to the ideas in the Wiccan Rede, where everything we send out comes back at us three-fold.


Illustrations from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller and The Teen Oracle by Cinnamon Crow Dixon.

Hekate's Key

There is something comforting about the 'path' decks I am using. The images are tranquil and require quiet contemplation. Take this one for example, showing a key. I didn't realise that the key is a symbolic tool in witchcraft. I have one myself, swinging from the door of my reclaimed cabinet. For those of you who have been reading this blog for some time, you may remember my finding it.

The key is sacred to Hekate, who is the Greek Goddess of both crossroads and doorways. As the cousin of Zeus, she holds power over the three regions of the world - the land, sky and oceans. Often seen as a triplicate, she holds a rope, torch, dagger and key. The key is the key to the underworld, where she is able to unlock secrets and knowledge. Statues of Hekate were often placed at doorways to houses and were seen as protecting the inhabitants. Eventually, this role in keeping out evil spirits led to the perception that Hekate could also allow the evil spirits to enter if she chose. She thus became acknowledged as the guardian of the veil between the worlds and I wonder if that has lead to her also being feared as much as she is worshiped.

My boyfriend and I journeyed over to spend Boxing Day with his parents and his brother's family yesterday. His sister and her family are abroad at the moment and will be returning in time for a full family gathering on New Year's Day. We swapped presents in the afternoon and I received my Wicca manual, some aftershave, and another set of cards (which I will come to in a moment). We then walked over to some of my boyfriend's close family friends for something to eat. The hostess had prepared a lovely (and healthy) spread and we sat around the dining table and talked. For the evening, they set up their Wii for a little bowling, wake boarding and fencing. Keeping my old neighbours in mind, I excelled at the fencing, slashing away at my opponent with force until they were whipped from their podium.

When I met Shaheen Miro in London over the Summer, we had discovered an oracle together in one of the three main spiritual stores we visited. I had been so tempted to get it, but instead, settled on The Favole Tarot. The one I had stumbled upon was called The Teen Oracle, which has been created by a woman called Cinnamon Crow. With her daughter in mind, Cinnamon had wanted to create a deck that explained basic spiritual principles and concepts in easy to understand terms. I guess that it's simplicity makes reading the cards easy, right out of the box. The images contain my favourite colour combination of red, black, and white (with a little grey) and their graphics are both modern and sophisticated enough to be appreciated by all age groups. They are not dumbed down and do not patronise teens. On the other hand, I can't see them lacking the depth that a more advanced reader might require. With bold images and one-word titles, they provide a lot of scope; especially when used together as different components within a sentence. My boyfriend and I lay in bed last night, pulling cards in duos and discussing what we thought and felt they might mean. Afterwards, he looked through the 44 cards and said 'I like these a lot'. He usually gives my new decks the briefest of acknowledgements, so that meant a lot.

So I thought it would be nice to use both of the sets of cards I got for Christmas; the Path cards that my Mum and Dad bought and The Teen Oracle, which my boyfriend's parents got me. The former can provide a general and over all message, where as I think the strength of the latter is it's ability to delve into the finer details.

For today, I have drawn Direction, Love and Miracle. Whenever I read three card spreads like this without positions, I always look at the middle one as having the biggest influence. So here, it is Love that has pushed itself forward to indicate a theme. Love is not limited to relationships, but Cinnamon Crow does suggest that the card could suggest a lover, as I think it might here. I can see this in the image of two entwined hearts, which behave like two people, arm in arm. Being the central card, it could marry the two cards on either side of it, predicting luck in terms of a new and exciting direction (I find it interesting that the Direction card shows the crossroads where Hekate stands as the guardian). As a whole, I would like to think that the trio suggests that my boyfriend and I will be fortunate enough to soon find a satisfying opportunity or path. After so much bad luck in recent times, this would seem nothing short of a miracle.

Of course, Hekate's key sits at the top of today's post. It is calm and reflective, but regardless of that, it is a symbol of power. I think that it is suggesting I have the power to make these dreams or miracles my own, even if I cannot see the possibility at the moment. I believe that we make our own luck and that the prophecies in the cards below are in my own control. The key is in my hand for me to do something with, which is kind of like saying 'the ball is in my court'.

Illustrations from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller and The Teen Oracle by Cinnamon Crow Dixon. Hekate painting by Hrana Janto

Losing the Battle

Today's card is a little sombre. It shows The Holly King. From my understanding, he represents the winter and his brother, The Oak King, symbolises the summer. They battle it out twice a year, and at this time, with the sun beginning to last longer in the sky, the poor old Holly King has lost the fight. Generally, this king speaks about the decline of the earth and it's decent into darkness, so the card therefore brings loss to my day. Maybe not the cheeriest of cards for a time of festivities.

I have received a few messages from my friend Annie since yesterday. She sent some general Christmas greetings, but also let me know that she is in a hospice. I think it is just for the Christmas period at the moment as she needs care and said she'll be back home in a few weeks. I said I will go and visit her then, but this card not-so-subtly hints that time is running down and that the snow will soon begin to thaw. There is something really upsetting and uncomfortable about watching the ice begin to melt in front of me.

I am writing here, but I should be getting ready. We're going to my boyfriend's parent's house today and then travelling over to spend time with their best friends. I don't feel much like drinking and all of that, but up until the new year, this is most probably the last of our Christmas get togethers, so should be nice; I really like the couple we are visiting. As nice as the last few days have been, I hate how Christmas suspends everything, and will be happy when all returns to normal, so I can begin my next steps.


Illustration from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller

The Spiral of Souls

Today hasn't felt so much like Christmas Day. Christmas is funny like that because I always wonder if we're doing it right. I usually imagine that everyone else is doing more than we are. To be honest, this is probably true, but there is this kind of face that people put on at Christmas. My aunt called this morning and we all laughed and smiled and told her we were having a lovely time. I am not saying we were not, because I enjoyed sitting around and talking for a few hours before opening our presents, but it didn't feel so much different to any other day.

We exchanged gifts. As you can see, I got my two new decks, which merge together beautifully. I also received the tall Adonis statue I wanted from my boyfriend, which now sits on my cabinet with the stone lady. He's very peaceful looking and fits in nicely. I'd seen him years ago amongst loads of other ornaments in a spiritual shop, but couldn't afford him at the time. When my boyfriend asked me what I would like, he came to mind.

We spent yesterday out, visiting my friend Kate and her parents in the daytime and then returning to hers in the evening to go for drinks with her and some other friends. We went to a bistro and spent the evening sitting upstairs before my friend drove us home around midnight. This morning, we watched some episodes of Miranda and then had a lovely dinner. We had wondered what it would be like as the cooker here hasn't worked since we moved in, but with a little Christmas magic in the air, it miraculously started up in time to cook the turkey. Dinner was a warm occasion, with all of the food laid out to help ourselves to. Frustrated by the price of Christmas crackers, I had bought a kit and made my own, filling them with little things personal to those who ended up pulling them.

My first pull from my new double deck is actually from The Well Worn Path (as appose to the sequel pack, The Hidden Path, which is mixed in) and is called Reincarnation. I don't know if it is getting older or if I have just seen too many decks over the years, but I can't remember where I have seen an image that this one reminds me of. I flipped through the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot to see if it reminded me of anything there, but I wonder if it is the We are the World card in the Osho Zen it reminds me of. The card shows a place where a spiral of souls swirl amid the stars. Each one holds a small spark of that which created them and as they merge with it once again, it reminds me a little of how I am spending today with the two people who created me. Things have been stressful and tense over the last month, due to moving, but today has been chilled and calm with my family. For me, the card seems to be about cycles; of something ending and making way for the new. It feels as though the way is now clear for fresh starts of all sorts, if this card is anything to go by.

The books that go with these decks look really interesting. They have a small paragraph about how the card can be used for divination and also a longer piece to teach about the subject of the card, but what I like is the third section, which offers a kind of guided paragraph, which walks you though the card. I haven't had much of a chance to read much of the two books, but hope to this evening, while my boyfriend is snoozing.

We were thinking of taking a walk out tonight, but as we are going to his parent's friend's house tomorrow, we are just staying home and relaxing in front of the television. I let the diet slide today and had a full Christmas dinner. Even though I didn't go mad, I feel bloated now. Normal service will be resumed after Boxing Day.


Illustration from The Well Worn Path by Mickie Mueller

The Old Friend

This is a warming 6 of Cups and it brings simplistic messages to my door. As a card connected to the past and friendship, it brought a phone call from my old friend Kate tonight, to try and organise getting our families together tomorrow. What with her being unwell and moving out of her cottage at the same time that we moved to the bungalow, we haven't spoken properly in weeks. We had a catch up for an hour this evening and hope to drive over to hers tomorrow daytime. My mum can hardly walk at the moment, so I don't know whether my parents will come or not. We missed doing the whole Christmas Eve thing last year, due to Kate having the flu. The snow managed to sabotage just about everything else.

Last night was lovely. We went to the local pub restaurant and had a nice meal. I sidestepped Dukan for the night as it is such a pain to try and find something on a menu that strictly adheres to the diet. I still had the least fatty thing I could find and cleared my plate. Three friends met us there and were great company. We all laughed a lot, and as per usual, were the last to leave.

I stayed home today and didn't do much. In fact, I didn't do anything. My uncle and cousin came to look at the electrics and plan the pulling out of the kitchen for the refit, so aside from showing my face, I have been locked away in here for the entire day. It feels as though Christmas has been coming for ever and I am kind of looking forward to getting it all over and done with, if I am honest. The long nights are becoming a little depressing.


Illustrations from The Sasha Fenton Tarot by Sasah Fenton and Samantha Bale

New Year's Day

After talking about it here on the blog for the last few days, The Winter Solstice arrived at 5.30 this morning. As I travelled back home on the train from my boyfriend's in the dark, it began to get light, so I stood and watched the sun rise over the river once I had got off. It looked beautiful and made me smile. As I had time to stand there and photograph it, I guess I fell into my own place, finding five minutes to reflect on those things which are and are not important. It felt more like a New Year's Day than the one I am used to (which I never enjoy, year after year). Janurary 1st always leaves me feeling empty and sore about what I haven't achieved in the last year, where as today, the fire of the sun rising over the river energised me and I feel ready for my next steps.

Yesterday was pleasant. My mum's friend cancelled, but my mate still visited with daughter and dog. After a light lunch, her little girl, Eva, asked if she could have a piece of paper and pencil to do some drawing. I told her I could do better than that and brought in my massive art box that I had compiled throughout my work in schools. We pulled out card and stickers and pens and she got down to making four Christmas cards and a Get Well card for our friend's mother, who had been transferred to a hospital in London. It turned out that she has had a mild heart attack but is now on the mend. I was so impressed with Eva's work. She is a very bright and artistic 6 year old and has no problem with writing and spelling. She was very well behaved, and by the end of the dark afternoon, she, her mother and I were all drawing, sticking and gluing. My good friend in Canada recently flagged up an artistic technique called Zentangling, which I showed Charlotte. She absolutely loved it and spent an hour doodling a design, taking the paper and pen home with her to continue.

I really like the deck that today's card comes from. I am not entirely sure what it is called but it is often listed as the Sasha Fenton Tarot. It might seem a little too basic for some, but it is simple, to the point and attractive. I got it for a pound in a boot fair years ago, without it's accompanying book. It has one of my most favourite Knight of Cups in it.

For today, I see steps forward in the 2 of Wands, but I also see a coming together in the dual nature of the warm number '2'. I think it has something to do with the fact that the wands set in that ring remind me of a fondue set, which of course, is all about sharing. My boyfriend is coming over tonight and we are meeting friends in the nearest pub to me for a festive drink and something to eat. Now that I live on this side of the river, I am that bit more accessible to a few old friends than I was. The pub sits on a heath and has recently had it's restaurant area done up, so I booked a table for 7.30. There should be five of us getting together. I haven't seen one woman, who I used to work with, since the Summer. My boyfriend is staying over here tonight. I think work (or at least, the people he works with) has drained him this week and he needs to relax. He can park up and we will walk there together, which should only take about ten minutes. I am looking forward to it.


Illustrations from The Sasha Fenton Tarot by Sasah Fenton and Samantha Bale

Mother and Child

I drew today's card randomly, as I normally would, and came up with this one; it is card #32, entitled Mare. The horse in the card protects her young and provides nourishment. She gives it warmth and gifts wisdom, reminding me a little of the tarot's Empress.

This card also reminds me of the deity Epona. Epona was a goddess of horses, honored by the Celtic tribe known as the Gauls. She was one of the few Celtic deities who were celebrated by the Romans, and they celebrate her in an annual festival every December 18, which has obviously just passed. The Festival of Epona was a time when worshipers paid tribute to horses, erecting shrines and altars in their stables.

Legend holds that Epona was born to a white mare who was impregnated by a man. Apparently, he “loathed the company of women”, and so decided to focus his desire on the mare instead. In many sculptures, Epona is represented by symbols of fertility and abundance, such as cornucopias, along with young foals. She is typically portrayed either riding (usually side-saddle) or taming a wild horse. Many households, particularly those who kept horses or donkeys, had statues of Epona on their household shrines. Epona is venerated in other areas; the Welsh Rhiannon is an adaptation of Epona’s role as goddess of the horse.

The relationship between this horse and foal has relevance today. Every time I see a card like this, I wonder if my old mate Jane is about to go into labour, but equally, the card reminds me of motherhood and her relationship with the child on a more general level. It obviously regards the relationship between the goddess and her son on this eve of the Winter Solstice, but it also makes sense elsewhere for me. I saw one of my friends in the supermarket last night, and she told me that her mother had collapsed. This morning, I have heard that she has been transferred to a speciality unit in London. This is obviously a concern and I see the relationship between mother and daughter in this image. My friend is a mother of three herself, so where she would sit in this image is transferable.

Today is one of visitors. My mate is arriving at midday with her daughter and little dog. She is bringing some bits and pieces for lunch, as her little girl wants to see the new house. While shopping last night, I picked up some things for today, since my mum's friend is also coming over. I have found my reading up on Yule, it's history and customs, really interesting, so while there, I bought a Yule Log cake to go with some mince pies as a treat (whether I defy Pierre Dukan and have a piece remains to be seen). It says in the brief statement of the accompanying book to this deck that the card can reflect children, so it makes sense for little Eva to come visiting. At this time of celebration, the card is about relationships with others and how we can help make them more nourishing and warm.


Illustration from The Wiccan Oracle by Chatriya Hemharnvibul

The New Light

I haven't felt much like drawing cards for the last few days, so instead, I thought I'd actually pick one today. In preparation for The Hidden Path and Well Worn Path, I thought I would choose one from the Wicca Oracle. Being the 20th December, I thought it made good sense to pick #14, which shows three candles, some holly and mistletoe, symbolising the festival of Yule.

From what I have read, the celebration of Yule actually starts tomorrow night for most, ready for the 22st, when the sun comes up. Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year and I can feel it, since today seemed as though it was getting darker around 2.30 this afternoon. It is pitch black outside at the moment, and all I can see is the flashing blue lights of the house opposite me. For Wiccans, this sabbat celebrates the Goddess and her giving birth to the Sun God. From Thursday, days begin to grow longer, with the return of more sun. To get through the dark Winter months, people have traditionally brought the outside in, decorating their homes with evergreen foliage, mistletoe and holly, lights, and the burning of a yule log to welcome the new sun. Falling at the end of December, this might sound familiar, but a lot of people might be surprised to find out that these pagan festivities actually predate Christianity. In actual fact, there is little written documentation of when the birth of Jesus was, but it has been argued that it was more likely in the Spring, when the shepherds would have been tending their flocks by night during March. The Winter Solstice (or Yule) is a Pagan Holiday. The church adopted it as their own when the folks who practiced the Old Ways and the Old Religion wouldn't bend to the will of their priests.

People celebrate Yule in many different ways, not unlike the methods in which Christmas is celebrated. A tree is decorated, good food is eaten and it is a time for socialising and desiring peace between all. On the eve of The Winter Solstice, many welcome the sun by staying up all night, performing specific prayers (or spells) and reflecting on what they are leaving in the dark or will be taking forward into their lives with this new light. There are three red candles on the card from The Wiccan Oracle. I have seen these in white, red and black, honouring the maiden, mother and crone respectively. This triad is one turn of the wheel from birth to death, showing the celebration of Yule (dated somewhere between the 21st to 23rd December, depending on the Gregorian calendar) as the end of the year. For Pagans, Witches and Wiccans, Thursday is much like New Years Day.



Thinking of Yule reminded me of the 7 of Pentacles from The Druidcraft Tarot. Even though there is no mention of the sabbat in the accompanying book.

The ancient Druids believed mistletoe to be an indicator of great sacredness. The Winter Solstice, called 'Alban Arthan' by the Druids, was according to Bardic Tradition, the time when the Chief Druid would cut the sacred mistletoe from the Oak. Is that what we are seeing in Will Worthington's painting in the card? The mistletoe is cut using a golden sickle on the sixth night of the new moon after the winter solstice. A cloth was held below the tree by other members of the order to catch the sprigs of mistletoe as they fell, as it was believed that it would have profaned the mistletoe to fall upon the ground. He would then divide the branches into many sprigs and distribute them to the people, who hung them over doorways as protection against thunder, lightning and other evils.

The Druids are thought to have believed that the berries of the mistletoe represented the sperm of the Gods. When pressed, a semen like substance issues from the white berries. Mistletoe was considered a magickal aphrodisiac. Girls standing under a sprig of mistletoe were asking for a bit more than a kiss, I have read.

I searched around through other tarots to see if the festival of Yule is depicted elsewhere. I don't own Lo Scarabeo's Witchy Tarot, but I guess that the illustration for the 10 of Wands could show two people burning the Yule Log while choosing natural fruit and sweets to decorate their home. I also wondered if the traditional 19th trump in the Rider Waite shows the birth of the Sun God beneath the warming rays of the sun.

Amongst the dark, today has been quiet, except for my dad's moans here and there. He seems to be getting worse as he gets older, picking at this and that. Mum went for her consultation this morning and will have physio in a few days time. I am glad the appointment is here, since she was in such agony yesterday.

It feels fitting that we should have moved at this time of year. As the light steps into our days for longer, I see it spread around our new home. My dad has already stripped out the paper in the bathroom and has begun to paint the walls. It really looks fresh and feels like ours. As the crone of the last year is ready to take her last breath, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Illustration from The Wiccan Oracle by Chatriya Hemharnvibul

The King of Funny Fits

I showed my boyfriend the pic of Tony from yesterday and then passed him today's card, the King of Swords. I agreed with him that this guy looks like a Dave. There was something protective about yesterday's king, but like the holly I have arranged in the frame around the card, Dave can be a bit prickly. This is why I am often reminded of my dad when this court shows up. He doesn't like to be wrong and has equally high expectations of others. That sword is raised and is the consequence for those who do not match up to his ideals. He's very much the judge and the jury all rolled in to one.

Every year, I say that I will get my Christmas shopping done early, so that I don't have to overdose on the crowds and the repetitious playing of Slade and Chrissy Hind in the stores, but as usual, I ventured out today on the last Sunday before Christmas. My boyfriend needed to collect presents he had reserved for his nieces and nephews and I had some stuff to get for both him and my parents. I don't buy for anyone other than those three at Christmas, but it' still a chore. Most of the time, people cannot think of things they either want or need, so we end up buying stuff for the sake of it. Even though I got a few personal things for my mum and dad, the chunk of their present is 44 tiles for the floor in our new bathroom and toilet. The whole shopping experience was not as bad as I had envisioned. I suppose that sensible people get most of their stuff online these days and let the postman lug it to their door instead.

Now home, I am quite tired. My boyfriend has spent the last hour wrapping presents. He does them very nicely. His parcels are all clean and have nicely labeled tags and ribbon. Mine, in comparison, are a mess - they look scruffy as I am not much good at wrapping gifts. It's probably more to do with the fact that I get bored after I have done one and don't put much effort in. Half of my pressies are in gift bags, which gets around all of that. We laid in bed and watched two films last night - The Nightmare Before Christmas (which I loved) and The Omen. I had seen the latter when I was much younger but didn't remember the details. I quite enjoyed it. Am I the only person who thinks that films from 1970s look far creepier than the ones they make now? There's a general uncomfortable feel to the old movies.

The King of Swords can be a pain, and therefore, I sometimes relate him to the argumentative side of people. My dad had a few little strops today, as did my boyfriend, so the card meant a negotiation of their moods on my part. Neither my dad's or boyfriend's funny fits lasted longer than five minutes, so we managed a nice afternoon in town and evening in my room.


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles

My Mate Tone

I don't know why, but whenever I see this King of Pentacles, the name Tony comes to mind. For today, he sits confidently in my draw with his pentacle and a smile. I wonder if he has shown up because I mentioned him in yesterday's post, with reference to my boyfriend. He was very generous with his money last night, so the card reminds me that I owe him a pentacle or two for that.

The evening out with friends was good. As with celebrations hosted by the same friend last year, we sat around her dining room table, chatting. Being on my diet, I didn't eat anything, but I did have a few drinks. Well, it is Christmas after all, yeah? As everyone seemed to tire pretty early, my boyfriend, my other friend and I went off for a few more at a private bar in town. I haven't done that for a long time and it made a change. I used to go there near on every week at one point and drink, talk and dance until the shops opened the next day, but as nice as it was to drop in last night, I couldn't take on that kind of routine now.

If Tony isn't here to highlight a person, then as an energy, he is stable. I guess that I am in a protected position at the moment, since he could represent the financial support of the government, my parents or my boyfriend. Being a card of the physical, he could foretell a stabilisation of either my diet or health. At just under my target weight, I feel better about myself than I have in ages, even if my fatigue did get the better of the long walk to my mate's house last night.

One of the girls we met at the gathering invited us to a party tonight, but with my boyfriend still resting off his hangover, it doesn't look like a possibility. As much as I liked her, I don't fancy two nights out on the trot. My mate Tone (I can't say that without thinking of Alison Steadman in Abigails Party) suggests I hold on to my pentacle, because even if I am stable for the moment, I do have some Christmas shopping to do tomorrow and a few other get togethers to save my money for.


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles

The Vintage Girls

This card made me smile when I turned it this morning. It made total sense, because this evening, my boyfriend and I are going to a friend's house for a festive evening of mulled wine, nibbles, and company. But what really made me laugh was that two of the people we will be spending the evening with are big on vintage clothes and I have seen them sport dresses not unlike those in this version of the 3 of Cups. So there's Jo, the hostess, in the middle; Sarah is on the right, and Katy on the left. There couldn't be a more perfect card to depict them.

On a deeper level, this card is about my social community. Yes, I have been hiding away from it in past months, but it tells of my coming out and spending time with others this evening. My boyfriend didn't come over last night, but we spoke on the telephone. It was the evening of his work Christmas party, but he made his excuses and didn't go. I felt a little sad about this, but he had his reasons; he didn't want to go in today with a hangover and didn't want to socialise with a percentage of people who have been taking him for granted of late. My boyfriend is a Knight of Pentacles; he works hard, doesn't shirk his responsibilities and has learnt his stuff. Around him are people who turn up late every day and go home early, who are busy internet shopping or chatting when they are meant to be working, and who rely on him to help them out when they can't meet their deadlines. Personally, I think it is time for my knight to be made a king, because he would be a fair and worthy leader. This is something that I think he might be able to do in a new job. Because he was quite-rightly feeling frustrated from his day at work, I thought that going along to the gathering with our vintage girls this evening might do him good. He needs to let his hair down and relax.

I have a picture in my room that needs to be hung. It is of three young women. I have no idea when it was taken or who by, but it looks as though it is from a fashion shoot. The colours of the photo suggest it is from the 60s, but I think it is a modern photo that has been made to look that way through clothing and mood. It reminds me of the 3 of Cups, and in particular, the one from the Morgan Greer tarot. I am reminded to bang a nail in and get it on the wall.

As predicted, the weather has turned grim. The frost has covered the road outside of my room, and in the sky, there is a mixture of sleet and snow. With the prospect of my two decks coming for Christmas, I lay in bed and read The Wicca Bible by Ann-Marie Gallagher last night. I am getting one of the Dummies manuals about witchcraft for Christmas, as it will be a nice accompaniment to the decks, but thought I would get a little knowledge down beforehand. I really like the story and flow of The Wheel of the Year, as it turns through the sabbats. It would seem that as we approach Yule (from December 20-23), we should open our arms to the winter. As I write, there appears to be more of a sprinkling of snow than sleet, which always concerns me around this time of year. At this exact time last year, it put pay to all of my plans, wiping out social events all around. I have a few things on the calendar which I really hope are not destroyed by snow, so it is hard to open my arms with joy to the flakes that are paragliding past my window at the moment.


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Bettles

Hollow Victory

From the Mountain Dream, we have the 9 of Cups. I'm kind of looking at this card in a different way than usual today. In many books I have read, it suggests that a wish will be granted, but sitting here in my new room this morning with the sun bursting through the window, I am seeing it as an opportunity to give thanks for those wishes that have already been acknowledged. If you'd asked me what my wish was this time last year, with work about to start in the January, I'd have wished for us to move. Well, we have now. So even though I am yet again looking for work, I am thankful for the prayers that have already been answered. The guy on this card looks kind of strange (as many of the blokes on variations of the 9 of Cups do - the one in the Gilded Tarot is just darn creepy) but he appears satisfied, with his cups lined up. I'd say he's had his wishes granted, even if he has nobody to share them with.

I kind of see this card in a similar way to the 4 of Cups. The figure in that has three cups and doesn't need a fourth, so I am not entirely sure what this guy plans on doing with nine. Could it suggest an element of greed? My boyfriend's mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas last night. I picked out a book and a deck of cards, but she said I could choose far more than just those. As generous as that is, I stuck with what I had chosen. Those two things were enough for me and I would have been picking stuff out for the sake of spending a certain amount of cash. I really appreciate her kindness, but the gifts she and my boyfriend's dad give me will be special, however many of them there are. Card decks which are gifted always have a special place in my collection. The one I am using today was a Christmas present from my parents a few years ago. It's one I desired for many years.

Something feels as though it is missing today and I am not entirely sure what it is. I have just got back from my boyfriends, enjoying a nice walk through the long alleyway to my house, which is lined with beautiful trees and bushes. I feel as though I should be doing something now that I am home, but am not sure what. I have some more applications to send off, so I will start with that. There is a contentedness to the 9 of Cups, which as nice as it is, I don't feel comfortable with sitting and enjoying. It's that same old guilt of not working again, I guess. When you receive the luxury and abundance of this card without earning it, it can feel like a hollow victory.


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles

Call of the Wild

This is interesting. My mum received a ticket for speeding yesterday. At 66, it's the first she has ever had and it worried her. We were all quite surprised by it, even though she was only a couple of miles per hour over the speeding limit. What was interesting was that I flipped back over the blog to see what had been going down on that day in October and saw that the card I'd pulled was Justice. At the time, I had likened the couple in the illustration from the Celtic Dragon Tarot to my parents, as they stood beneath the great dragon of the law, who held up a piece of paper. At the time, it made sense to see the dragon as our solicitor, but now, I wonder if he may have been holding up the speeding fine to them both, since they were together in the car at the time of the incident, probably returning from their weekly grocery shop. Sometimes, I think we have to be open to the tarot images. It was easy for me to see the solicitor in the card on that day because the house move was on my mind. Some people find it difficult to read for themselves for that reason, because we can jump to very narrow conclusions and not be open to ideas which might not fit at that exact moment. If I had been more general and suggested a situation with the law, regarding some kind of legal paperwork, I would have been that bit more on track. All of this aside, it is interesting to use this experience as a way of learning to provide more useful readings. It's hard to try and not pinpoint details, since that is part of the fun of reading, but we must listen to the tarot, rather than enthusiastically shove words into it's mouth.


As I thought, my visit to the Job Centre yesterday was near to pointless. I spent half an hour there, while the woman clicked boxes on her computer and printed out stuff I didn't really need. The only thing I really wanted her to do was change my home address, so she gave me a form. Can you believe that to change my home address for correspondence, I have to fill in a 47 page booklet (yes, I did say 47 pages). What ever happened to the paperless office? I came away from there with my usual feelings of apathy and did some grocery shopping for my parents, since they couldn't get out due to the guys still fitting the boiler and working on the bathroom. Regardless of that, my mother's leg is still providing great pain, so walking away from the home is not something she has been able to indulge in for the last few months. My own fatigue has been a problem too, so shopping for stuff after my appointment at the Job Centre really tired me out.

So, what have we got for today? The Fool. I like how this card from The Mountain Dream Tarot sits in the framed mount I added. I found these online some time ago, where a user was offering them up for use free of charge and thought they would be nice for the blog. This particular old photo works nicely with this frame, which I adapted to make the hole bigger. In fact, I've changed the holes about from mount to mount and altered their size and the elements around them with a little Photoshop jiggery-pokery.

This fool has taken his eye off of the road. I guess he's trusting in either that flower for luck or the little dog to tell him if he's about to walk into danger. Sometimes, it's good to look about and appreciate your surroundings. I was saying as much to a blogging friend the other day. So many people are set on their goal that they don't see what they have at the moment. I have sacrificed so much of my enjoyment in the present by worrying consistently about what's in the future; whether that is not being where I think I should be in my career, or whether it's my anxiety over health and stability. There's a beautiful world out there that I am missing. Skip the diet for a day, apply for a job you know you'll probably not get or just take a walk in the icy but beautiful Winter breeze.

I finally heard from my mate yesterday and the cards had been right in suggesting that she'd disappeared beneath the waves of depression. After scraping about at the bottom of the seabed, she says that she is now on her way back up again, thank goodness. I am set to speak with both her and my pregnant friend this afternoon, before possibly helping my mum with the Christmas tree. As The Fool is about taking chances and throwing caution to the wind, I will also find five minutes to shoot a few emails off to some jobs I have seen advertised. I'm not particularly sure I am the right candidate, but with this energy in play, what have I got to lose?


Illustration from The Mountain Dream Tarot by Bea Nettles

Out of the Blue

The first thing that this card made me think of is my best mate, who is expecting a little boy. She is very close to having him, so I wonder if this is some kind of premonition. This Little Boy Blue does look as though he's ready to be catapulted into the world, doesn't he?

On a more abstract level, I guess we could see this card as new beginnings of all kinds. Things are born into the world all of the time; new jobs, projects and fresh starts. With my friend in mind, things don't always turn up just like that. Aside from the nine months of tiredness, struggle and discomfort of pregnancy, it took her and her husband over four years to make their baby. So when this card comes seemingly out of the blue today, I wonder if what it symbolises had been conceived some time before. This could be a multitude of things for me. To be honest, I've given up even thinking that it could be about work. I have an interview at the Job Centre today. The last thing I will get from them is a lead to anything useful , so I don't think that this card will be connected to my appointment.

As well as all things new, I also see innocence connected to this card. Babies are extremely vulnerable when they're born and the card highlights how we can be taken advantage of when in need. We are having a new boiler fitted at the moment, so I am hidden away in my room by choice as the two guys fit it in the loft. We know one of the guys who is sorting it out, so I doubt that he'd take advantage, but the card does warn me against being taken in by others, as the Little Boy Blue might through naivety.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

You are Beautiful

'The sunflower does not despair for not being a rose' - Lucy Cavendish


Before bed, I looked at yesterday's cards again and felt a jolt in my stomach. Suddenly, they began to mean something other than I had first interpreted and I was surprised that I hadn't seen it initially. I have a friend who I have consistent communication with but who I haven't spoken to in a few weeks. I've sent a few messages in the last couple of days to see if she is alright, but have heard nothing. Prior to these messages, she said she had been feeling down and also had the flu, but I am surprised to have not heard from her in the last week. It's quite unusual as she usually calls back pretty quickly. I began to wonder if the central 3 of Cups (in the position of myself or what is important) was suggesting that the subject of yesterday's draw was actually about a friend and someone within my social community. If so, what surrounds the friend is constriction (maybe due to her own destructive thoughts) and some kind of possible breakdown - the cat in the 10 of Swords looks as though he's had enough. I am a little concerned about the feline in the 8 of Swords, who appears locked up in some way and cannot find freedom. Are the cards letting me know that she is not at her best and needs my support? Something doesn't seem right, so I sent a message to my friend's mother this morning, to see if she can shed some light.

Today's card is from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle and is called Beauty's Truth. The write up in the accompanying book is interesting. It basically says that there is beauty within all of us, but that we will not find it in totality by dwelling on the physical. As I have been dieting, I have weighed myself every morning and spent that bit more time looking at my face in the mirror, noticing it slim down to what I recognise. Am I becoming obsessed with trying to find the face of my youth? Cavendish would suggest that I am beautiful whether I lost that extra stone and a half or not.

It is said that female fae despise the finer qualities of their men, preferring the imperfections of mortals. As much as I like the conventional beauty in a smile of someone like Kenzie Roth, when you get to know a person, it is sometimes the less conventionally attractive parts of their looks that become beautiful; be it my boyfriend's wrinkled brow when he is concentrating, his quivering lip when he sleeps or the little smile he gives me when he wants something. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is a good looking man, but it is the small quirks in his personality and mannerisms that I love and recognise beauty in; I just wish I could appreciate the beauty within my own, which is what I think this card is all about.

I took a trip out this morning to get some floor tiles for my room. I won't be laying them yet, but my boyfriend has said he'll help me start to strip the walls soon and paint them. There's no rush really, but it would be nice to make this room just that little bit more like my own. He's ordered me a nice big bronze angel for Christmas, which I can already envisage standing on my display cabinet before fresh cream walls. As I sit here amongst the swirly pattern of the previous occupants carpet and the browned floral wallpaper, I wonder if today's card is less to do with my own physical beauty and more to do with my physical environment. I appreciate that it was probably quite beautiful in it's own time. It could do with some freshening up, but I can live with this decor for that bit longer.


Images from The Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle by Selina Fenech

Under the Surface of Smiles

For today, I have drawn three cards from the Medieval Cat Tarot. I have the 3 of Cups in the centre, as a representative of myself, and the 8 of Swords and 10 of Swords representing outside influences. At a glance, I'd say that things seem ok on the surface, but that a lack of self-confidence and fear pollute the surrounding energies.

The 3 of Cups is my immediate emotional support; the card lets me know that I have some. In a way, it makes sense for there to be three cats, since there are three of us in my family (that's me in the brown, my mum in the blue, and my dad in the red). We have all been here for each other in the last month and have equally put a lot of effort into making all that has happened. However, it is not just them I see in the card; I see myself with my boyfriend and Kate; and I see other friends who have been supportive and helpful in recent times. One mate has been concerned about my distancing myself from my our wider social community, but I have tried to ease her worries by telling her that I am okay. She wanted to pick me up and take me to see a friend of ours last night, but as well as it being cold out, I started to tire pretty quickly so was happy to stay where I was. My parents had some friends over, so I locked myself away in here and read until my eyes began to close.

Even though I am happy at the moment, the surrounding influences complete the story. As with most days, I have woken with achy arms and neck. The bones in my left arm hurt when I lift it and at times, my left knee cannot be bent or straightened without pain. I woke this morning with pains in my stomach; the same pains I have had for so many years and that my doctor has attributed to IBS. Yep, that's me in the other two cards. Under the surface, I feel trapped and finished off by these physical problems. I think that the aches have something to do with the chronic fatigue, and I think the chronic fatigue stems from both the IBS and the stress it has brought.

My boyfriend and I walked to town this morning. I hadn't done that yet and was convinced it would take longer than from where we lived before. I used to walk up this way about fifteen years ago to stay with my friend Sam, so I found the same old alleyway I used to walk then. It didn't take much longer than the journey from the old house and was more pleasant. Town was busy with Christmas buying and queues, so we bought what we needed and left. I got my hair cut by my usual handsome hairdresser and did my Christmas shopping online when I got home. Even though I am getting money to buy a bike, my mum said she'd like to get me something for Christmas Day, so I ordered some decks for her (at least I get something I'd like that way). I chose Mickie Mueller's Well Worn Path and Hidden Path oracles, to be used together. Well, Christmas isn't Christmas without cards, is it?

As I write, my boyfriend and I are supposed to be watching Angels and Demons. I am obviously typing here and I can see his eyes slowly closing. Without the use of an oracle, I foresee a little nap for the two of us in the very near future. I was never a fan of Sundays when I was a kid, but they are one of my favourite days of the week now.


Illustration from The Medieval Cat Tarot by Lawrence Teng

Home Sweet Home

Well, our new home is no palace, but it is looking better with every day. I thought I'd post a few snaps for those who expressed an interest. As you can see, just about every room I photographed needs stripping, painting and re-carpeting, etc, but even just a little dressing and love can make even the coldest of houses into a home.

The living room was bleak when we first looked at it, but with our furniture and a few pictures on the wall to divert the eye from the wallpaper, it feels warm and worthy of entertaining in now. I miss our old fireplace, but when we can afford to, we'll pull this old one out and get a new one. This one is dated, but it isn't offensive and works, so we can put up with it for the time being.


The dining room is the first to be sorted. I think we're aiming to strip and start painting in the next week.


The hallway actually has nice wooden floors. After a lick of paint, it should be that bit more welcoming. It is a nice size and is broader than the one we had before.



Out of all the rooms, mine was the worst off. The wallpaper is brown and has been neglected. The carpet is horrific. I have already ordered some floor tiles for it and plan to get on with stripping the paper and painting as soon as I can. Just getting my furniture in and changing the curtains was a step forward for me.

The Queen Fries some Small Fish

As with yesterday's threesome, I sit in the middle of the reading; here, I am the Queen of Cups, quiet, emotionally receptive, and open to the depths of the subconscious. Looking at her through the lens of today, I see myself in an emotionally peaceful state. I love those little frothy bubbles of sea foam in the card.

In looking at these three cards, I see that the queen has her back turned to The World. She is moving on from something; in this case, a cycle is complete. Now we are in our new home, it is almost hard to remember the years where we dreamed of this moment. I said something about this to another blogger not so long ago. She had been wanting to move for ages, and once she had, I reminded her that she is now in the moment she had desired for so long. The same could be said for us, which is probably why the Queen of Cups sits so emotionally calmly and appears relaxed in her new surroundings. The ordeal of trying to move is now over; a conquest complete (as a side note, it is interesting that it looks as though she wears the laurel reef from The World card around her left arm).

So what is it that stands before me in the shape of the 2 of Swords? I'd say that this represents new decisions waiting to be made. With a blindfold on, the pretty little figure in this card is trying her best to avoid making them, but it doesn't make them go away. I have more conquests to overcome, mainly relating to my career, but for the moment, they are on the back burner until this season is over with. The Queen of Cups in the middle of the trio looks no further than her cup and is yet to really acknowledge difficuties. She will do, but with aches in her neck, arm and knee, she thinks that kicking back and taking a rest is what's needed for the moment. She has been feeling tired again.

Despite the beautiful glow from the sun outside my window, it is freezing today; and not just outside. I guess that now we are in a detached property and are no longer living in a terrace, we can feel the cold that bit more. The frost of Winter's icy breath had covered the ground outside my bedroom this morning and the branches on the tree in our front garden looked brittle, like the boney fingers of Yule. I am supposed to see my boyfriend later but I haven't heard anything from him yet. I should imagine this means that he had a better night than he was expecting and is sleeping it off. My friend sent me a message yesterday evening, giving me a last chance to come out and play, suggesting that she and my other friend could come and pick me up, but I was already tucked up in my black duvet and silky throw by 9pm, reading. In the old days, I would have been tempted, but I just didn't fancy it. I have been getting tied by about 10pm since the move and my body has really been aching, so I am not sure how long I would have lasted on a night out. I received a few messages a few hours later, saying that they'd run into someone who the three of us do not like, so I'm glad I missed that. Losers like him fall into a long list of people I also intend to turn my back on.

With every accomplishment, there are more hurdles waiting to be jumped; that's how I see today's cards. As well as moving, I have also reached my target weight; actually, I have slipped a few pounds under it, so have lost the 1.5 stone that I wanted to. I have introduced a little variety into my diet, but have kept away from the rubbish. Even though I always look at my life as being stagnant, sitting here in reflection, I can see that things are changing and moving along with the floating bubbles and foamy waves. When Christmas is over, the queen will settle her cup down and take charge of the two swords which need to be dealt with. But for the moment, she has smaller fish to fry.


Illustrations from The Hanson-Roberts Tarot by Mary Hanson-Roberts

The Last Laugh and the Worn Out Coat

I wanted to return to the blog with the Hanson Roberts. It's such a beautiful little deck, which never seems to miss a trick. Take today's three cards for example; that's one of 'my' personal cards sitting there in the middle, describing me at this time. The Hermit usually finds me when I am seeking solitude, which I am at the moment. The cards around 'me' are the surrounding energies. The first, The Hanged Man, shows me hanging up my coat for a period of time and taking a step back. The second, Death, is about transformation and cutting away what is no longer needed; in this threesome, this has a lot to do with the social side of life.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I like to pull back from time to time. After twenty-odd years of partying and all that goes with it, I want a little quiet time and yearn for something different. I am not into big groups and flamboyant occasions as much as I was, so parties and general acquaintances have passed their 'sell-by' for me. The angel of death is hacking away at what no longer interests and is laying it all to rest at the bottom of the card. All of the dramas and social politics within friendships go with them.

It's been a week since I last wrote here. The move was absolutely exhausting, but a success. For many days afterwards, I felt as though I was stuck in Groundhog Day, since each morning, we'd be pulling more boxes from the full garage and unpacking them. It seemed never-ending. However, with friends, we have cleaned and unpacked and tidied. Our stamp is well and truly on the bungalow now, and despite the oldy-worldy wallpaper in most rooms (which will soon be stripped), it has started to feel like our home pretty quickly. I much prefer the layout of this house to our last and we seem to have so much more room. For instance, I can now fit two extra wardrobes, a massive armchair, ottoman and display cabinet in my room, which I wouldn't have had a hope in hell of squeezing into my last one; not to mention my old mannequin, Little Joe, who has made it down from the loft and now stands next to the bookshelves.

Despite the stress of the last two and a half years, it would appear that Oddbod did us a favour. One of the women from our last neighbourhood reported back and said that she had seen her talking with the new occupants and was all over them like a rash. It's no less than I expected. It's kind of funny really. She thinks she has won, but as I stretch out here in my large (and most importantly, quiet) room or look out at the breathtaking views of either woodland or hills from our new lounge windows, I am pretty damn sure that it is us who have the last laugh.

I had my first drink for nearly a month and a half a few days ago. As I had been moaning about doing something different, my boyfriend paid for me to meet him and his friend in London to see the recording of a programme at BBC Television Centre. Ok, it wasn't the most exciting of programmes, but it made a change. We had a laugh and I got to know his mate better, who was really good company. We found a pub in Shepherds Bush afterwards, which was dark and had a small grotto-like outside seating area at it's heart. I resisted the cigarettes but had a few wines. The glasses flowed, as I struck up conversation with two young blokes. Even though I didn't drink much, it did go to my head. I used to love drinking, but at the moment, it feels like a worn out coat I am sick of being seen in. We still had a good evening, since the point of it was the television show and the chat between the three of us, but when asked to go out with my boyfriend and the guys in his family for drinks this evening, I declined. I like everyone in my boyfriend's family a lot, but knowing that it will probably be a big drink-up, I thought I'd rather leave them to it this time. Another friend asked me to town to see a band in a pub locally, but I said I probably wouldn't make that either. I am not hanging up my tankard completely; I just want those times when I do go out for a drink to be special, rather than the norm.

So, The Hermit as the middle card shows me at home, alone this evening out of choice. As surrounding energies, the other two major cards do a little cleaning up of my lifestyle and community. I have willingly' stepped out of the social scene for a while as a form of sacrifice. With less cash than I had six months ago, I am holding back my pennies, so my boyfriend and I can do more exciting and satisfying things with them in the months to come.


Illustrations from The Hanson-Roberts Tarot by Mary Hanson-Roberts