The Begger's Badge

Now, I wouldn't be surprised if this hand at the top of today's card has something to do with the guy in yesterday's illustration. Dressed in the same green, coins are dropped from his gloved hand into the hands of the needy. It's funny how I immediately relate to the begging hands rather than the man giving charity, since as I discovered yesterday, I am wealthy of love, time, and compassion, which I have to share with those around me. Even though I get a message on my phone every morning, telling me that my bank balance has slipped into the danger zone, I do still have money elsewhere, should I need it, so maybe the card is reminding me that I am less needy than I think. It's funny how we pin certain badges to our self, unable to envisage ourselves in more than one role. I am capable of giving, as much as I am of receiving. This is another of the cards I like from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot. As with yesterday's card, the colours are rich but not gaudy. The 6 of Coins captures a moment well, as the hands (which are shown as a set of uneven scales) restore balance with the addition of the sixth coin.

My uncle has just turned up. I can hear him laughing and joking in the hallway. He is helping my dad with the kitchen, and over the last few weeks, he has been here a lot. There is some kind of step in the ceiling so he is leveling it off. However, the gales of last week have blown down our garden fence, so he is out there fixing that at the moment. My relationship with my uncle has always been a little shaky. My dad adores him, but I always felt that his brother put less into their relationship than he did. He visited seldomly through my teenage years and twenties and it always felt as though it was my father who had to do all of the legwork and organising if he wanted to force getting together. I became increasingly annoyed by it over the years, since my dad always laid blame at his sister in law's feet, probably not wanting to admit that his younger brother couldn't be bothered. At a family party, I told my uncle what I thought of him, saying that he was a poor excuse for a brother. I think that this was a bit of a shock to him, because I always got on pretty well with him as a kid. There was a point where I would attack him and other family members at any available opportunity, which kind of detached me from them all.

I enjoy my uncle's company now. It's kind of like it was when I was a child and I can appreciate that he is making an effort. He and his wife had my parents over for dinner yesterday and have probably visited us more since the move than they have in years. I think that my father's decline in health was a bit of a kick into reality and one of the reasons why his brother is now helping him out so much with the bungalow. The man in today's card could easily be him, dropping more of his coins into our hands. He has a big job ahead of him and has already done a lot for us.

I feel sick this morning; it's most probably to do with my IBS. It's like a line of falling dominoes. My stomach sets off the nausea, and in turn, I become tired. I have already guzzled prescribed drugs for my stomach, sickness and fatigue before even getting out of bed. I have things to do this week, but nothing falls into today. As I listen to the building work outside of my room, I am reminded by this card of all that I am in receipt of and how little I am actually doing myself.


Illustration from The Legacy of the Divine by Ciro Marchetti