The Final Insult

I don't usually catch up on my blog this late in the evening. I was going to let it slide today, but I picked this card this morning and really like it; it's the Knave of Swords.

It was dark and raining when I left my boyfriend's this morning. I didn't have a hat so my newly shaved head got wet. Every cold raindrop felt like a tear of ice, so I bought a cheap beanie when I got off the train. I could feel a slight tiredness in my legs and chest, but I slowly walked home through the long alleyway regardless. Buses only come this way once an hour, so if you've only just missed one, it's a long wait.

My mum had a physio appointment this morning, so my dad and I hitched a ride to a shopping estate across the road from where she goes. We looked at tiles for the kitchen, bikes for my birthday, and computers. I tried to do an extra post for my blog yesterday, but my elderly laptop had other ideas, switching itself off mid-post. This little netbook has been my saviour, but I do need something a bit more heavy duty, so we had a look around. I can never decide which is best. I like the portability of a laptop, but I haven't had too many good experiences with the ones I have had. Every time I have gone to look at computer stores, I always want a Mac, but end up bypassing them for a cheaper PC option. I went straight to their section this time. I started off looking at the Mac Book Air, but because I want it for graphics, found myself round the other side of the table looking at a stylish iMac with a 21.5 inch screen. The guy in the shop gave a good commentary and answered my questions. One of the things I hate about my deceased desktop machine is the wires, so was surprised and pleased to hear that the iMacs only have one lead. The hard drive on the model I was looking at is built into the back of the screen and the keyboard and mouse are wireless. All of this for £999.00. I am considering getting it tomorrow. I have almost got used to computers that won't turn on, disc drives that don't open and laptops which turn themselves off when the tough gets going. I am not sure how I will react to a machine that actually does what I want it to.

Today's card is alert and communicative. As I have spent my evening on my maths homework, I am not so sure that he resembles me, but the card might have something to do with my boyfriend. It could be that he has taken to a little written expression of his own (which he has), but more likely, the knave represents messages. Due to the difficulty that can come with cards from the Swords suit, I think it is connected to my boyfriend not being called back for a second interview. He found out this afternoon. In his current role, he works singly as a Credit Controller. There were others in his team with the same job previously but they were made redundant last year. The company he applied to said that they thought he might not be able to work as successfully in a team, since he works alone now. Knowing how much my boyfriend does for the other lazy oaths in his office, I know that this is rubbish. He and one of the girls there both received a pay rise today. Even though it is better than a kick in the teeth during these financially testing times, to find out that his raise was less than someone who is late every day, spends a lot of her time chatting on messenger-type programmes, has been warned about her amount of sickness, and actually has him helping her with her work, as he said to me in a message, it really was the final insult.


Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi