The Barriers

Am I the only one who gets lots of spam on Blogger? There are two persistent people who have been dumping their advertising crap on my posts for near on a year. I have tried to complain here, but nothing changes. It annoys me that these cretins can continue to do this. I won't mention what they sell, since I think it might be their computer that flags the words in my posts automatically, rather than an actual person posting this rubbish. It's one step up from the eastern porn that was added through links previously and forced me to close my comments option down, but it still really annoys me.

So, what have we got today. My key card is the 5 of Pentacles. It's that poor couple trudging through the snow again. Some see the window behind them as a church, but for today, it is the Job Centre. I was up early and went there this morning. The woman was very friendly, but the session was no more than the ticking and unticking of boxes and was of little help. I asked for a number for Careers Advise, as I wanted to make an appointment to talk about teaching, but that is about as good as it got.

One of the things that strikes me about all four of these cards is the barriers involved. The people in the 5 of Pentacles are shut out. It is cold where they are but they don't seem comfortable in confronting the warmth which lays behind the window. For some reason, they trudge on by, barefoot. Can you imagine walking in the snow in your bare feet? The guy laying in the 4 of Swords is on the other side of the window. Rather than being shut out, he is shut in. What keeps him there? Is he too unwell to join those beyond the stained glass window?

The woman in the 9 of Pentacles barricades herself and her money behind the hedge of her garden. Her barricade seems to be of choice. She is happy amongst her wealth and those things she has earned and feels no need to step out and join others, whereas the man in the 7 of Cups is a slave to illusion. What separates him and the vision in the clouds is the barrier of reality. I can definitely relate to three of these illustrations and their specific barriers.

Looking at these cards, I see myself in the 4 of Swords the most; mainly due to my chronic fatigue. As I lay here and write, it does feel as though the world is going on outside without me. The card feels important to me, as though it suggests a time for building strength before something happens. It could represent the now, before I move on and am able to support myself without the help of others (the 9 of Pentacles). Let's hope so, eh?

One of my cousins came to fit the hood on the cooker today. When he turned up, he walked past my bedroom as I lay here beginning to write this post, making a comment about my comfortable position on the bed. I didn't mention that I had been out early and had only just got back; or that I had been to a meeting about work yesterday or had just called up the advice centre to book an appointment to discuss my teaching course. As far as he [and others in my life] are concerned, I spend my time laying around, doing next to nothing. People only seem to see a snippet of my life and make assumptions, which can leave me feeling upset. I know he was probably only joking when he passed comment, but it does hurt for others to judge me in that way.

I guess that we judge every time that we see those two in the 5 of Pentacles. We look at their attire and don't stop to think about where they might be going or might have been. This card may be about difficult times, but really, it's about how we feel. I am not in a bad position, since I have a roof over my head and shoes on my feet. It's just that sometimes, the way I feel inside is as if I don't.

Illustration from The Radiant Rider Waite, based on the drawings of
Pamela Coleman Smith and redrawn byVirginijus Poshkus.