Leda and the Swan

For today, I have drawn Conception from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot. Traditionally, the eighteenth trump is The Moon in tarot, which looks at those things beneath the surface of what is known. The Enigma card shows a sketch for the painting Leda and the Swan. The swan in question is actually Zeus, and to my memory, he has transformed himself into the bird to deceive and seduce Leda. I see this as another depiction of the deception in the traditional card.

Caitlin Matthews speaks of dreams in her commentary of this card and I guess that would make sense, since dreams are beneath the surface of our conscious. I have mentioned a friend of my mothers on this blog before, who I dream about on occasion. Whenever I do, she seems to either get in contact or something significant happens in her life. My mum hasn't spoken to her in a couple of years and last night, I dreamt that she had died. When looking in Matthew's book this morning, my memory of the dream came straight to mind. I encouraged my mum to call her but she hasn't been able to get hold of her. She was a big part of my early life, so I hope that she is okay.

This card looks at confusion, possibly due to it's being between the worlds of the conscious and unconscious. My dad received a letter this morning, documenting what is wrong with him and how the hospital are going to try and treat him. It said that the cancer is more widespread than we had thought. So far, I have been more positive about all of this than anyone else I have spoken to. I think that the fear of cancer has been prominent in the eyes of friend's and family we've told, but I have not seen the point in viewing this in any other way than with the expectations of good results; for his sake, and also for me and my mother. As my boyfriend and I walked to the supermarket today, I kind of froze and my heart stopped. I hadn't considered that all of this could flip the other way. I guess that I haven't wanted to. We sometimes have petty squabbles, but I can't imagine a world without my dad in it. Well, at least, not yet. Have I been deceiving and protecting myself or is my positive attitude justified?

From my understanding, the painting shown here is not actually by Leonardo, since even though his sketchbooks suggested he was planning on painting Leda, no painting actually exists. This appears to be one of the many copies, which I think is by Raphael. Lo Scarabeo have used Leda for their 2 of Cups. They look at the sexual relationship between the two; this is in it's both negative and positive aspects. When negatively aspected, the deception of Zeus influences a distrust in relationships.

I am still not feeling my best. I hate the achy eyes and headache that my cold has brought and I am sure it has had a hand in making my fatigue worse. Even though really tired, sleeping has been difficult. My body feels drained but restless all at the same time. It took me a little time to drag myself to the computer and write today's blog entry. I was going to pass it by but wanted to acknowledge last night's dream and what lays beneath the swan's identity. With cocoa, I am about to relax on my freshly made white bed and watch the third film in a trilogy my boyfriend and I bought last week, called The Girl who kicked the Hornet's Nest.

Illustrations from The Da Vinci Enigma Tarot by Leonardo Da Vinci and The Da Vinci Tarot by Ghiuselev & Atanassov. Painting of Leda and the Swan by Raphael.