Social Lightning

Oh, bugger. This is never a card I enjoy to see. The fire in this version from the Tarot of the Reflections looks particularly ferocious. It's like a snap shot into our day, where some poor person will find himself thrown from a place of comfort.

Once again, the book adds light to definition. It says 'Every experience must rest on solid foundations if it is to last over time. Have strong inner foundations, demolish what is worn and eliminate the superfluous'. When I think of today, I remember we are going out this evening. What ever happens will be determined by the foundations which have been laid; these foundations might be built on glasses of wine, the unsteadiness of friendships between others, or problems with friends from the past (could the card be speaking of someone I would rather not run into? - I can think of one old friend who'd I'd rather would slip into my past and not pop up). Maybe, the card advises me to watch how much I drink, who I drink with, and where I drink to avoid the strike of social lightning depicted in this card. My boyfriend and I hardly argue, but we did have one big bust up over a year ago and didn't make it up until the next morning. In those days, we drank far more than we would now. The bottles of wine were the lightning striking in The Tower card. Underlying niggles were the foundations which were provoked. I can see how this card coming up today suggests that I look to clearing any problems before situation or the unexpected tries it's best to kick harmony from the burning windows of this tall building.

The Mac is now set up and I am using it right now. It really is lovely to use; like breezing over ice. There is no wheel on the mouse, but you glide your finger along it's spine to scroll as you would with a touch screen phone. The 21.5 inch screen is crystal clear and everything I look at just pings with colour and detail. My boyfriend set my printer up and resurrected my elderly iPod, so as I write, I am listening to the wonderful Rizzle Kicks. My boyfriend loves all of the gadgets, but it has been so long since I have had a computer that works that the real novelty of buying this Mac for me is that it switches on when I want it to and doesn't turn itself off when I don't want it to. Can you imagine having a computer that doesn't take twenty-four hours to turn on?

Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi

Like a Virgin

Do you remember staring at the clock when you were a kid? Trying to see the minute hand move? How ever much you stared at it, it never seemed to, but then after turning away to look at the television, you'd look back again and realise that five minutes had passed. This is how I look at this chariot. It doesn't look as though it's going too fast, does it? However, it is moving, even if we can't see it. In the small book that comes with this deck, we are advised 'Know that your chariot can advance even if it seems to be going nowhere'.

This was quite a good card for me to draw this morning before going to my Maths class. It's my second real session there. I wasn't particularly looking forward to going; mainly because I would prefer to be doing something other than Maths, but also down to my worrying whether I will learn enough to eventually get me through the test. When I am there, it is not so bad. As I look through the questions, it jogs something in my memory. I am a Maths virgin with a shady past and bits of suppressed knowledge find their way to the surface. After two hours, I had had enough and the walls came down, but my tutor seemed impressed with what I had done. It feels as though I am not getting particularly far, but like today's card, I think things are moving ahead, even if they don't always look as though they are.

After my lesson, my parents took me off to PC World and I bought my new iMac. The woman who served me was really helpful. I had not known whether to take advantage of the Apple care plan, so I dithered about until she discounted it. As well as them being there for constant support, she said that you can make appointments for tutorials and to ask them how to do different projects on the machine, should you wish. As I write, it is still boxed up. I thought I'd wait until my boyfriend gets here before setting it up. It's been sitting in the corner all day. I have learned to be much more patient with age, but in honesty, I am not much good with instructions, so it's probably best that he takes the lead.

I kind of fancied going out this evening, but my boyfriend suggested we do tomorrow instead. I always used to enjoy Friday nights out more than Saturdays. It has a different buzz, probably being the first night of the weekend. So for tonight, I think we will have a quiet one, setting the new computer up and watching the final of Celebrity Big Brother.


Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi

The Final Insult

I don't usually catch up on my blog this late in the evening. I was going to let it slide today, but I picked this card this morning and really like it; it's the Knave of Swords.

It was dark and raining when I left my boyfriend's this morning. I didn't have a hat so my newly shaved head got wet. Every cold raindrop felt like a tear of ice, so I bought a cheap beanie when I got off the train. I could feel a slight tiredness in my legs and chest, but I slowly walked home through the long alleyway regardless. Buses only come this way once an hour, so if you've only just missed one, it's a long wait.

My mum had a physio appointment this morning, so my dad and I hitched a ride to a shopping estate across the road from where she goes. We looked at tiles for the kitchen, bikes for my birthday, and computers. I tried to do an extra post for my blog yesterday, but my elderly laptop had other ideas, switching itself off mid-post. This little netbook has been my saviour, but I do need something a bit more heavy duty, so we had a look around. I can never decide which is best. I like the portability of a laptop, but I haven't had too many good experiences with the ones I have had. Every time I have gone to look at computer stores, I always want a Mac, but end up bypassing them for a cheaper PC option. I went straight to their section this time. I started off looking at the Mac Book Air, but because I want it for graphics, found myself round the other side of the table looking at a stylish iMac with a 21.5 inch screen. The guy in the shop gave a good commentary and answered my questions. One of the things I hate about my deceased desktop machine is the wires, so was surprised and pleased to hear that the iMacs only have one lead. The hard drive on the model I was looking at is built into the back of the screen and the keyboard and mouse are wireless. All of this for £999.00. I am considering getting it tomorrow. I have almost got used to computers that won't turn on, disc drives that don't open and laptops which turn themselves off when the tough gets going. I am not sure how I will react to a machine that actually does what I want it to.

Today's card is alert and communicative. As I have spent my evening on my maths homework, I am not so sure that he resembles me, but the card might have something to do with my boyfriend. It could be that he has taken to a little written expression of his own (which he has), but more likely, the knave represents messages. Due to the difficulty that can come with cards from the Swords suit, I think it is connected to my boyfriend not being called back for a second interview. He found out this afternoon. In his current role, he works singly as a Credit Controller. There were others in his team with the same job previously but they were made redundant last year. The company he applied to said that they thought he might not be able to work as successfully in a team, since he works alone now. Knowing how much my boyfriend does for the other lazy oaths in his office, I know that this is rubbish. He and one of the girls there both received a pay rise today. Even though it is better than a kick in the teeth during these financially testing times, to find out that his raise was less than someone who is late every day, spends a lot of her time chatting on messenger-type programmes, has been warned about her amount of sickness, and actually has him helping her with her work, as he said to me in a message, it really was the final insult.


Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi

Chuck us Another!

I remember reading this card for one of my old neighbours once, suggesting that in the world of work, she was a bit of a multitasker. She had said this was true and seemed pretty happy with my bringing the skill up in her reading. In this version of the card, the guy doesn't seem so at ease with the juggling of his coins. He looks as though he is perspiring, trying to keep them in the air without dropping them. This is more like me. I get stressed when I have too much to do; especially when at work. Whoever the phrase 'I thrive on pressure' was inspired by, it certainly wasn't me. I left both of my last two full time jobs because keeping all of the balls in the air was too much of an ordeal and I was conscious of consistently dropping them.

I had a really nice chat with my uncle the other day. While my mum was driving my dad to the hospital, I pulled up a chair in the kitchen and we talked. His son is a year older than me. We had a bit of a falling out a few years ago and I stopped answering his messages. Depending on which way you look at it, my cousin has done very well for himself. He has (what I am told) is an amazing house, a fast and expensive car, a job that pays him close to £100,000 a year and travels all over the world. However, as my uncle put it, he is rarely happy. For that kind of salary, he is at the beck and call of his boss, who has been known to ring him at 11 o'clock on a weekend evening, lives in fear of redundancy, and has nobody to share his fortune with. I can see him in this version of the 2 of Pentacles as well.

It took me quite a while to realise what was important. I have never been particularly materialistic, but for a while, I threw myself into the same career roles time and again, because I believed that these kind of well paid jobs would prove my worth. But with each job, I received another knock and had to come to terms with the fact that I am not cut out for that kind of pressure. With emails coming through at twenty at a time, more appointments and meetings to attend than I could get my ahead around, and having to jump into taxis here, there and everywhere, I eventually ran from my desk, leaving the gold pentacles to fall and smash on the floor. This card makes me think of that.

Having said all of this, there are times when that has not been the case. In the teaching work I did last year, I was under an enormous amount of pressure in some of my jobs, but because I knew what I was doing, I was able to hit the ground running. In that example, I had got myself loosened up and ready before beginning my juggling act. With that in mind, this card could be about thinking on your feet and taking on extra stuff successfully when you already have enough to contend with. It's about knowing your limitations.

Dad is home now. He is sore but relieved that it is all over for the time being. With that out of the way, I wonder if someone is eager to chuck another pentacle into this juggling act. Even though perspiring, the guy in the card is coping. He looks ahead, focused, as the pentacles appear balanced. However, if someone chucks another into the equation, it could just knock him over the edge.


Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi

Jackie's Strength

This is an interesting one. At first, this card, the 5 of Swords, seems to visually step outside of the Rider Waite tradition, but when you look at it closely, it is pretty similar in intention. In the traditional image, a main figure gains power over two characters in the background. We don't immediately see that here, but when we take into account the woman's mirror reflection behind her, it could easily become her defeated opponent. Since they are one and the same person in this deck, we might ask ourselves 'who it is that we are really harming by our actions'.

The little white book that comes with this deck offers good food for thought. It says "Failure can be positive if you understand your mistake. Don't repeat the errors: the biggest defeat is the one that could have been avoided".

This card reminds me of my friend, Jackie. She once had the same hairstyle. It's funny how friendships fade away like the image of the woman in the background of this illustration. As two mates who lived in each others pockets (and for a while, in the same bedroom), we always maintained that our friendship would never die. Even though I got a message from her recently, after telling her I had changed my number, I get little more, so I'd say our friendship is pretty much on it's last legs. From what I understand, she still sees old friends I introduced her to and my ex boyfriend, even if I haven't seen her or them in many years. I think of her sometimes. In fact, it's strange that this card turns up today, because I dreamt of her last night for the first time in a long time. How can you know someone for over twenty years, to the point that they are actually like the mirror image of yourself, and then get to a point where you no longer know them at all? I miss the good times with her, but with so much water under the bridge, I am not sure I'd know what to say to her if I saw her now.

So where does this card sit today? Rather than Jackie, I'd say that this card is describing my boyfriend, who had his telephone interview for a job just half an hour ago. Unfortunately, it didn't go too well, through no fault of his own. The signal on his phone kept cutting out and the interviewer could not hear him properly. He sounded defeated in his first message to me, but in the last, he appeared more positive, saying he had spoken to his agent and wants to try and organise another go after 5 o'clock. Now this is where today's advice comes into play. As the cryptic little message in the little white book states, he must make sure that the same problem doesn't affect the call again.

Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi

Pig Headed

Look at the eyes in this king. If you really look into them, they're kind of piercing. He looks right into you, and like the little book that comes with this deck states, becomes your reflection. If I am going by what Titania Hardie says, then this guy is our Aries Male, since he is right side up. The closest Aries male to me is my boyfriend. He messaged me this morning to say that he has a telephone interview for a job tomorrow, so this could be him in the card, grabbing the bull by the horns, gripping the wand in his grasp, or taking control of the telephone from it's receiver.

Our weekend was busy. Doesn't everything seem to always hit at the same time? We got up early to visit my boyfriend's little niece on Saturday morning as it was her 4th birthday. Her parents had organised a party out of the house, so we were only there for an hour or so to give her her card and money, for which be both received a kiss. She is growing before our eyes. When I met her, she was just a toddler, but now, her personality is changing as she becomes more independent. As much as it is nice to see her growing up, I kind of miss the way she was.

From there, we drove to see my oldest friend, who gave birth recently. With cuddly smurf under arm, we dropped in for a few hours in the afternoon. Both her and her husband were tired, but we drank tea and chatted as my friend lay on the sofa with her three week old little boy. It was lovely to see, since this baby took a long time coming. There was a point when I thought she may never make motherhood, but as with all miracles, little Dylan took everyone by surprise. He really is a beautiful little boy and so special, due to how long it took for him to finally get here. I could feel myself becoming tired as the afternoon darkened, and soon enough, my yawns turned to a headache. However, we still had one last visit of the day to make. We then drove on to another friend's home, where her and her new boyfriend cooked us a delicious trout dinner. The evening was simple, sitting in her kitchen at the table and talking. I had only met her boyfriend once very briefly, so it was an excuse to get to know him better. Even though his English is only a few years old, down to him being Spanish, it wasn't too difficult of a barrier to break.

Unfortunately, the weekend did produce a death. My main computer is now up in a kind of heaven that we call the loft. It wouldn't turn on for four days, and like any loving family member would, I eventually pulled the plug. I can't be doing with it's temperamental attitude, turning on one day, and then not the next. With no use, it was starting to take up space and it's mechanical whining was beginning to annoy me. Thinking that I might eventually end up putting my foot through it, I packed it up and sent it upwards. I am currently using the laptop that it initially replaced six years ago. Next to my newish Netbook, it looks as though it was fashioned in 1985. It's funny how things date so quickly these days. It kind of scares me. But there is something kind of appealing about how basic it seems under the fingertips. I dragged it out because it has old versions of Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator on it. For this blog, it is nice to be able to fiddle about with cards and stuff visually before I publish.

One of the points of this deck is to look at our own reflections, so even though I see my boyfriend and his good news in today's card, I also see myself. I have often said how I see myself in this king. My boyfriend mentioned how demanding I am yesterday, which is definitely one of this king's personality traits. My father is waiting from the call from the hospital, since his operation is scheduled for today. If it is anything like last time, he still has many hours of sitting and fasting before a bed becomes available. He and I had words last night, and as per usual, he is dragging out the bad feeling by ignoring me. I am worried about his operation but see no use in trying to talk to him at the moment. You might see today's court figure and it's reflection as the two of us; one being just as pig headed as the other.


Illustration from The Tarot of Reflections by Francesco Ciampi